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Thread: Texas Salesman

  1. #1
    LEISA LOVE U GIRL! babygurl's Avatar
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    Default Texas Salesman

    A young guy from Texas moves to California and goes to a big department store looking for a job. The manager says, "Do you have any sales experience?"

    The kid says, "Yeah, I was a salesman back home in Texas." The boss liked the kid so he gave him the job.

    "You start tomorrow. I'll come down after we close and see how you did." His first day on the job was rough but he got through it. After the store was locked up, the boss came down.

    "How many sales did you make today?"

    Kid says, "One."

    Boss says, "Just one? Our sales people average 20 or 30 sales a day. How much was the sale for?"

    Kid says "$201,237.64."

    Boss says "201,237.64?? What the heck did you sell?"

    Kid says, "First I sold him a small fish hook. Then I sold him a medium fish hook. Then I sold him a larger fish hook. Then I sold him a new fishing rod.Then I asked him where he was going fishing and he said down at the coast, so I told him he was gonna need a boat; we went down to the boat department and I sold him that twin engine Chris Craft. Then he said he didn't think his Mercedes would pull it, so I took him down to the automotive department and sold him an Escalade."

    The boss said, "A guy came in here to buy a fish hook and you sold him a boat and truck?"

    Kid says, "No, he came in here to buy a box of tampons for his wife and I said, your weekend's shot, you might as well go fishing."
    grand prix.....

  2. #2
    Senior Member Princess12's Avatar
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    That's cute!
    Everyone dies, not everyone lives...

    "Easy" is an adjective used to describe a woman who has the sexual morals of a man.

  3. #3
    Senior Member | IA Veteran Halfwit's Avatar
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    more plz
    And miles to go before I sleep,
    And miles to go before I sleep.

  4. #4
    Certified Gearhead gbrookie71's Avatar
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    N1
    Have a Nice Day




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    LoL! That's pretty damn funny!

  6. #6
    LEISA LOVE U GIRL! babygurl's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Halfwit
    more plz


    beg some more...

    I have barely any work for the next two weeks so its goin got be alot of posting hopefully alot of jokes
    grand prix.....

  7. #7
    HBIC of IA Tiff-O-Bitties's Avatar
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    cute.
    :boobies: & = :idb:

  8. #8
    LEISA LOVE U GIRL! babygurl's Avatar
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    Two friends, Jack and Joe, are sitting in a bar, drinking beer and discussing married life.

    Jack: So, when does your wife scream loudest during sex?

    Joe: When I clean myself off with the curtains.
    grand prix.....

  9. #9
    Senior Member | IA Veteran Halfwit's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by babygurl
    beg some more...

    I have barely any work for the next two weeks so its goin got be alot of posting hopefully alot of jokes
    more plz more plz more plz more plz...

    i need more jokes.....
    And miles to go before I sleep,
    And miles to go before I sleep.

  10. #10
    Senior Member | IA Veteran Halfwit's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by babygurl
    Two friends, Jack and Joe, are sitting in a bar, drinking beer and discussing married life.

    Jack: So, when does your wife scream loudest during sex?

    Joe: When I clean myself off with the curtains.
    WEEKSOS, NEXT
    And miles to go before I sleep,
    And miles to go before I sleep.

  11. #11
    LEISA LOVE U GIRL! babygurl's Avatar
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    Q: How does a brunette turn on the light after sex?
    A: opens the car door.
    grand prix.....

  12. #12
    LEISA LOVE U GIRL! babygurl's Avatar
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    Q: Why do men become smarter during sex?
    A: Because they are plugged into a genius.

    Q: Why don't women blink during foreplay?
    A: They don't have time.

    Q: Why does it take 1 million sperm to fertilize 1 egg?
    A: They won't stop for directions.

    Q: Why did God put men on earth?
    A: Because a vibrator can't mow the lawn.

    Q: Why don't women have men's brains?
    A: Because they don't have penises to put them in.

    Q: What do electric trains and breasts have in common?
    A: They're intended for children, but it's the men who usually end up playing with them.

    Q: Why do men snore when they lay on their backs?
    A: Because their balls fall over their assholes and they vapor lock.

    Q: Why do men masturbate?
    A: It's sex with someone they love.

    Q: Why were men given larger brains than dogs?
    A: So they won't hump women's legs at cocktail parties.

    Q: Why did God make men before women?
    A: You need a rough draft before you have a final copy.

    Q: Why is a man's pee yellow and his sperm white?
    A: So he can tell if he is coming or going.

    Q: How many men does it take to put the toilet seat down?
    A: Nobody knows, it hasn't happened yet.

    Q: What is the thinnest book in the world?
    A: What men know about women.

    Q: How many men does it take to screw in a light bulb?
    A: One. Men will screw anything.

    Q: How does a man take a bubble bath?
    A: He eats beans for dinner.

    Q: What's a man's idea of foreplay?
    A: A half hour of begging.

    Q: How can you tell if a man is sexually aroused?
    A: He's breathing

    Q: What's the difference between men and government bonds?
    A: Government bonds mature.

    Q: How do you save a man from drowning?
    A: Take your foot off of his head.

    Q: What do men an beer bottle have in common?
    A: They are both empty from the head up.

    Q: How can you tell if a man is happy?
    A: Who cares?

    Q: How many men does it take to change a roll of toilet paper?
    A: We don't know. It's never happened.

    Q: How are men and parking spots alike?
    A: The good ones are always taken and the only ones left are handicapped.

    Q: What is a man's idea of helping out with housework?
    A: Lifting his leg so you can vacuum.
    grand prix.....

  13. #13
    Senior Member | IA Veteran Halfwit's Avatar
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    better, more.
    And miles to go before I sleep,
    And miles to go before I sleep.

  14. #14
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    Quote Originally Posted by babygurl
    Q: Why do men become smarter during sex?
    A: Because they are plugged into a genius.

    Q: Why don't women blink during foreplay?
    A: They don't have time.

    Q: Why does it take 1 million sperm to fertilize 1 egg?
    A: They won't stop for directions.

    Q: Why did God put men on earth?
    A: Because a vibrator can't mow the lawn.

    Q: Why don't women have men's brains?
    A: Because they don't have penises to put them in.

    Q: What do electric trains and breasts have in common?
    A: They're intended for children, but it's the men who usually end up playing with them.

    Q: Why do men snore when they lay on their backs?
    A: Because their balls fall over their assholes and they vapor lock.

    Q: Why do men masturbate?
    A: It's sex with someone they love.

    Q: Why were men given larger brains than dogs?
    A: So they won't hump women's legs at cocktail parties.

    Q: Why did God make men before women?
    A: You need a rough draft before you have a final copy.

    Q: Why is a man's pee yellow and his sperm white?
    A: So he can tell if he is coming or going.

    Q: How many men does it take to put the toilet seat down?
    A: Nobody knows, it hasn't happened yet.

    Q: What is the thinnest book in the world?
    A: What men know about women.

    Q: How many men does it take to screw in a light bulb?
    A: One. Men will screw anything.

    Q: How does a man take a bubble bath?
    A: He eats beans for dinner.

    Q: What's a man's idea of foreplay?
    A: A half hour of begging.

    Q: How can you tell if a man is sexually aroused?
    A: He's breathing

    Q: What's the difference between men and government bonds?
    A: Government bonds mature.

    Q: How do you save a man from drowning?
    A: Take your foot off of his head.

    Q: What do men an beer bottle have in common?
    A: They are both empty from the head up.

    Q: How can you tell if a man is happy?
    A: Who cares?

    Q: How many men does it take to change a roll of toilet paper?
    A: We don't know. It's never happened.

    Q: How are men and parking spots alike?
    A: The good ones are always taken and the only ones left are handicapped.

    Q: What is a man's idea of helping out with housework?
    A: Lifting his leg so you can vacuum.
    Stereotyping is wrong....

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