These Are Funny
I dialed a number and got the following recording: "I am not available
right now, but thank you for caring enough to call. I am making some
changes in my life. Please leave a message after the beep. If I do not
return your call, you are one of the changes."
~~~~~
At pilots training back in the Air Corps they taught us, "Always try to
keep the number of landings you make equal to the number of take offs you
make."
~~~~~
Little Tommy had been to a birthday party at a friend's house. Knowing his
sweet tooth, Tommy's mother looked straight into his eyes and said, "I hope
you didn't ask for a second piece of cake."
"No, but I asked Mrs. Smith for the recipe so you could make some like it,
and she gave me two more pieces without asking."
~~~~~
Aspire to inspire before you expire.
~~~~~
My wife and I had words, but I didn't get to use mine.
~~~~~
As my five year old son and I were headed to McDonald's one day, we passed
a car accident. Usually when we see something terrible like that, we say a
prayer for those who might be hurt, so I pointed and said to my son, "We
should pray."
From the back seat I heard his earnest request: "Please, God, don't let
those cars block the entrance to McDonald's."
~~~~~
Frustration is trying to find your glasses without your glasses.
~~~~~
Blessed are those who can give without remembering and take without
forgetting.
~~~~~
The irony of life is that, by the time you're old enough to know your way
around, you're not going anywhere.
~~~~~
God made man before woman so as to give him time to think of an answer for
her first question.
~~~~~
I was always taught to respect my elders, but it keeps getting harder to
find one.
~~~~~
Every morning is the dawn of a new error.
~~~~~
The best computer is a man, and it's the only one that can be mass produced
by unskilled labor.
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Originally Posted by boosted1jz
