I dialed a number and got the following recording: "I am not available

right now, but thank you for caring enough to call. I am making some

changes in my life. Please leave a message after the beep. If I do not

return your call, you are one of the changes."

~~~~~

At pilots training back in the Air Corps they taught us, "Always try to

keep the number of landings you make equal to the number of take offs you

make."

~~~~~

Little Tommy had been to a birthday party at a friend's house. Knowing his

sweet tooth, Tommy's mother looked straight into his eyes and said, "I hope

you didn't ask for a second piece of cake."



"No, but I asked Mrs. Smith for the recipe so you could make some like it,

and she gave me two more pieces without asking."

~~~~~

Aspire to inspire before you expire.

~~~~~

My wife and I had words, but I didn't get to use mine.

~~~~~

As my five year old son and I were headed to McDonald's one day, we passed

a car accident. Usually when we see something terrible like that, we say a

prayer for those who might be hurt, so I pointed and said to my son, "We

should pray."



From the back seat I heard his earnest request: "Please, God, don't let

those cars block the entrance to McDonald's."

~~~~~

Frustration is trying to find your glasses without your glasses.

~~~~~

Blessed are those who can give without remembering and take without

forgetting.

~~~~~

The irony of life is that, by the time you're old enough to know your way

around, you're not going anywhere.

~~~~~

God made man before woman so as to give him time to think of an answer for

her first question.

~~~~~

I was always taught to respect my elders, but it keeps getting harder to

find one.

~~~~~

Every morning is the dawn of a new error.

~~~~~

The best computer is a man, and it's the only one that can be mass produced

by unskilled labor.