Secrest Out: I poop while standing. OMFG!!GROWS!!
I have this horrible stomach complication, one that disallows me to function during the daylight hours. I'll sit with my hand in my shirt, tucked between the fourth and fifth clasp of my seventy-six dollar Express Men's shirt; it's the dark blue one, long sleeved, coral buttons.
These urges arise in my belly, my bowels speak loudly....
"Potty!"
And I run, I run like the wind but when I take a seat upon the unprotected public toilet seat, down the hall and to the right... first door, nothing but loose bits release from my anus. It's frustrating, I tell you... down right frustrating.
I got a tip one day, reading WebMD... and Smith007 commented that "my doctor told me that humans were always meant to stand while they deficate. I do it, and it feels great." I went on to rub my wrists, then. Where he shackles of society left sore, discolored rings.... society.
Last night, I showered... for the first time in two weeks. My girlfriend kept telling me that something smelled like demon's feet, a hint to me that I should probably rinse the filth from my flesh. As I stood beneath the smoldering hot spray of water, that which turned my chest an ass-smacked red, I felt the warmth brewing in my belly. The subtle gnaw of my bowels begging for a release that had been coming since the stone age, when man walked naked, bare balls and tits swinging freely. Free. All I could think about was the satisfaction they must've had in not having to stop to actually release their bodily fluids, because society hadn't been made up yet. Civilized life was millions of years off and even when we, the modern people, found out that our earliest kin pooped and pissed any and everywhere... well, they wouldn't have to hear it: they're dead.
I released then, oh how I relesed. My anus flared, and the rush of warmth exploding from my rump felt divine. Like, the sound of your first aftermarket blow off valve.... psssshhhhhhhh.
The raw scent of fecal matter entwined with my girlfriends pomegranate and mango body wash, the kind you pour out on a frilly sponge... it smells good.
Now I sit here... feeling better than I have ever felt before. Yeah, I'm excited about my next shower, I might even take another tonight.
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Originally Posted by cherry kool aid
and advise you against saying what you did (quoted above). considering the topic was homosexuality, might not be such a good idea to tout that you're a writer that writes about what he/she KNOWS, catch my drift? 
= :idb: 