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Thread: For those who are married

  1. #1
    Senior Member JASONBALL's Avatar
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    Default For those who are married

    NOT SURE IF THIS IS A REPOST OR NOT. SO JUST GIVE ME A BREAK IF IT IS. LOL

    Marriage - Part I
    >
    >Typical macho man married typical good-looking lady and after the
    >wedding, he laid down the following rules:
    >
    >"I'll be home when I want, if I want and at what time I want and I don't
    >expect any hassle from you. I expect a great dinner to be on table
    >unless I tell you that I won't be home for dinner. I'll go hunting,
    >fishing, boozing and card-playing when I want with my old buddies and
    >don't you give me a hard time about it. Those are my rules. Any
    >comments?"
    >
    >His new bride said, "No, that's fine with me. Just understand that there
    >will be sex here at seven o'clock every night .....whether you're here
    >or not."

  2. #2
    Senior Member JASONBALL's Avatar
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    THIS ONE IS A LOW BLOW

    Marriage (Part II)
    >
    >Husband and wife had a bitter quarrel on the day of their 40th wedding
    >anniversary!
    >
    >The husband yells, "When you die, I'm getting you a headstone that
    >reads:
    >
    >"Here Lies My Wife - Cold As Ever "
    >
    >"Yeah?" she replies. "When you die, I'm getting you a headstone that
    >reads:
    >
    >"Here Lies My Husband - Stiff At Last"

  3. #3
    Senior Member JASONBALL's Avatar
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    WATCH WHAT YOU SAY IN THE HEAT OF BATTLE

    Marriage (Part III)
    >
    >Husband (a doctor) and his wife are having a fight at the breakfast
    >table.
    >Husband gets up in a rage and says, "And you are no good in bed either,"
    >and
    >storms out of the house.
    >
    >After some time, he realizes he was nasty and decides to make amends and
    >
    >rings her up. She comes to the phone after many rings, and the irritated
    >
    >husband says, "What took you so long to answer the phone?"
    >
    >She says, "I was in bed."
    >
    >"In bed this early, doing what?"
    >
    >"Getting a second opinion!"

  4. #4
    Senior Member JASONBALL's Avatar
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    Another STING

    Marriage (Part IV)
    >
    >A man has six children and is very proud of his achievement.
    >
    >He is so proud of himself, that he starts calling his wife, "Mother of
    >Six"
    >in spite of her objections.
    >
    >One night, they go to a party. The man decides that it's time to go home
    >
    >and wants to find out if his wife is ready to leave as well.
    >
    >He shouts at the top of his voice, "Shall we go home 'Mother of Six?'
    >
    >His wife, irritated by her husband's lack of discretion, shouts right
    >back,
    >"Anytime you're ready, Father of Four."

  5. #5
    Senior Member JASONBALL's Avatar
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    This is fucked up

    Marriage (Part V) The Silent Treatment
    >
    >A man and his wife were having some problems at home and were giving
    >each
    >other the silent treatment. Suddenly, the man realized that the next
    >day,
    >he would need his wife to wake him at 5:00 am for an early morning
    >business
    >flight.
    >
    >Not wanting to be the first to break the silence (and LOSE), he wrote on
    >a
    >piece of paper, "Please wake me at 5:00 am" He left it where he knew she
    >would find it.
    >
    >The next morning the man woke up, only to discover it was 9:00 AM and he
    >had missed his flight. Furious, he was about to go and see why his wife
    >hadn't wakened him, when he noticed a piece of paper by the bed. The
    >paper said, "It is 5:00 AM. Wake up."

  6. #6
    WTF? Leisa's Avatar
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    hahahahaha that was cute...

  7. #7
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    +1
    www.fairtax.org
    Quote Originally Posted by kelly
    True. But where's my sig?!! (lol)

  8. #8
    Duck of Death ShooterMcGavin's Avatar
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    funny

  9. #9
    Official Reality Checker Romeyo07's Avatar
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    hahaha, fantastic


    Our Baby is Registered at Target
    Search for David or Amanda Adorno. Thanks!

  10. #10
    YELLOW POWER !!! The Golden Child's Avatar
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    hahaha ..
    NY STAY HIGH !!!

  11. #11
    LEISA LOVE U GIRL! babygurl's Avatar
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    that was funny
    grand prix.....

  12. #12
    YELLOW POWER !!! The Golden Child's Avatar
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    ur funny looking .. xP
    NY STAY HIGH !!!

  13. #13
    Chronic Masturbator Wurm's Avatar
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    "I remember the first time I had sex – I kept the receipt."

  14. #14
    Rutspeed/b00b CreW BTLFED's Avatar
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    Fuck marriage.
    --RIP Leisa. Forever In Our Hearts--

    --Val for President 1979-2007--
    --RIP Val, You will be missed--

    Quote Originally Posted by HalfBaked
    Anytime I'm driving south of I-20 in the perimeter, I play spot the white driver.

    Generally I don't count past 10.

  15. #15
    LNC FTW
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    Quote Originally Posted by BTLFED
    Fuck marriage.


    I am single again
    My YouTube Channel
    Make sure you "like" the videos purdy please.

  16. #16
    Rutspeed/b00b CreW BTLFED's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by ~The_Duke~


    I am single again
    So am I.
    --RIP Leisa. Forever In Our Hearts--

    --Val for President 1979-2007--
    --RIP Val, You will be missed--

    Quote Originally Posted by HalfBaked
    Anytime I'm driving south of I-20 in the perimeter, I play spot the white driver.

    Generally I don't count past 10.

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