so who's got jokes.

[RandomGuy]

A man and his wife were in the court getting a divorce. The problem was who should get custody of the child.

The wife jumping up and down said:'Your Honor'. I brought the child into the world with pain andLabor. She should be in my custody.

The judge turns to the husband and says ' What do you have to say in your defense? “


The man sat for a while contemplating..then slowly rose. 'Your Honor, if I put a dollar in a vending machine and a Pepsi comes out... whose Pepsi is it , the machine's or mine?



LOL GREAT

[Dr.G]

This guy's at work when he receives a call from the hospital informing him that his wife's been in an accident. He rushes to the emergency room where he's met by the doctor. They sit down in the waiting room and the doctor, with a very solemn look on his face starts to speak. But before he can, the guy interrupts.

Guy: "Doc, don't tell me my wife's dead. I just can't take it. Really, I can't take it. I love her."

Doctor: "Well, sir, I do have some bad news." Again the guy interrupts.

Guy: "Doc, just tell me, did she make it?" Doctor: "As I was saying, we did all we could. Right now she's in a vegatative state, which is likely where she'll remain for the rest of her life. She can stay here overnight, but after that, you'll have to take her home because your insurance doesn't cover this type of thing."

The guy slumps, just crushed.

Doctor: "With the right care, which will include you feeding her five times a day, cleaning her and giving her constant care on a daily basis, she'll likely live for at least another 30 years."

The guy sinks even lower, just crushed, and starts to cry.

Doctor: "As I said, your insurance doesn't cover this kind of care, so you'll have to make some sort of arrangements to purchase the equipment you'll need for your wife. I would suggest you put your house on the market today and sell it as quickly as possible and buy a mobile home. You're gonna need the excess cash. It should be enough to buy the equipment your wife needs and for you to live on for the next couple of months. By then, you should be able to qualify for welfare and other forms of state and federal aid."

By this point, the guy is sobbing uncontrollably.

The doctor reaches over, puts his hand on his shoulder and says, "Hey, look at me."

The guy looks up and the doctor smiles and says, "I'm just fucking with you, she's dead."

[TeeJay]

heres a good one.....

[94accord]

What's red and has seven dents?


























Snow White's cherry.