Originally Posted by
craigslist
Dream Interpreter
I need someone to interpret my dreams. I used to have a friend that would do it for me, but we don't really talk anymore and I've seriously been missing it. I have many bizarre, vivid dreams that I'm sure are fraught with meaning that I can never discover.
If you have any experience with dreams that would be fantastic, but honestly, more than I'm expecting. Essentially I'm looking for someone who can come up with a bunch of crap and make it sound convincing. An English major type.
Unfortunately for you, poor English major, I won't be able to offer you much in the way of paying the bills for your finely-tuned services. I should actually be trolling the craigslist ads for a job, not posting one. However, I am willing to pay you two dollars for every dream of mine that you interpret. We can do Paypal or I will mail you a check or whatever you prefer. That money will have otherwise been spent on food, so the number of dreams I will ask you to interpret will directly correlate with how hungry I'm feeling. But I would like to think that there's more in it for you than just the money. Let's see... you will have an opportunity to hone your writing skills. You will get to hear my fantastical dreams. You will also get to hear selected details about my personal life that I deem relevant to the dream. If you are unemployed, this will be a good way to waste time. Actually, that's true if you are employed. You can turn your dream-interpreting experience into an interesting cocktail-party fact about yourself. It might even look good on some selected resumes. Not sure what jobs those resumes would be for, but you might know, you crazy dream interpreter person.
Okay so if you want to do this, send me an email, and I will send you a recent dream of mine. Interpret it, and if what you say is suffciently etheral and yet convincing, consider yourself hired. When I have a dream that needs interpreting, I will waste time at work emailing it to you, and then you can interpret it at your leisure. It will be at your leisure, but I of course will be impatiently checking my email repeatedly for your response. Oh look-- there's another intrinsic reward. You will feel needed and appreciated. I like you already for reading through this whole post.
Compensation: $2/dream
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no -- Please, no phone calls about this job!
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any jobless dream interpreters?
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