Couple of random ones for you..

How many sorority girls does it take to change a light bulb?
2 - One to call daddy and one to make a T shirt

So a woman comes home to tell her husband about her new tattoos. He asks to see them, and she removes her pants. She has a turkey on one thigh and santa on the other. When her husband asks about it, she says "You always complain that there's never enough to eat between thanksgiving and christmas!"

A woman tells her husband that she wants bigger breasts. Surprisingly, he condones it, and says if she wants bigger breasts, she should go for it. She voices her concerns about the surgery, and he says he's read about a different route for bigger breasts... "Just rub a small piece of paper between them 3-4 times a day". She asks "How does that work?" and he says "I don't now, but it worked wonders on your ass"