Your Craziest story about your "Ex"

[B16a2 Civic]

well i was in another thread and this kind of came up...well heres my story

Well, i went to the movies with my boy and my friend said he's bringin some old friends from highschool to watch teh movie, one of em was fine but i didn't holla cause she had a fiance, but she ended up going thru my friend to get my # and we started talkin and what have you.
Well one night i was over at her place watchin and movies and " what have you" and she got mad cause a girl called me while i was with her and she was on all dat " lets be exclusive " shit...but tha thing was that she had a fiance that was in teh military and overseas....i was like..." you gotta be kiddin me, you got a fiance"...then she stabbed me in the hand....they broke up cause of me then we went out for maybe a few days...then me and her fell out *( my choice, cause if she cheat on him, whats to say she wont do it to me...not with anyone else finer...impossible!!)...she had a baby with teh next guy ( who was in teh military too) and now she works at burger king...she was fine tho, i'd hit it again

Lets hear your stories

B16a2 Notes:
1.) went out with fine girl
2.) fine girl has fiance
3.) fine girl has a fiance
4.) fine girl gets mad cause a girl calls me while i was chillin with her
5.) fine girl stabs me
6.) girl breaks up with fiance for me
7.) break up with fine crazy girl

[Leisa]

hmmm, here is a funny one...

When my son was in pre-k, I was the room mother, you know the person who brings the juice and cookies and plans the parties, well one night I told my ex to bring home some things to make chocolate chip cookies, so he did, and I was up until like 11pm making them.. blah blah blah... I went to bed, the next morning when I got up, everyone of them but maybe 3 or 4 were gone,, I was so mad... I set his fav recliner out on the porch and had good will pick it up.. needless to say he was pissed.. ahahahahaha

[Brett]

My ex wife was a fucking whore. Yup, thats about it.

[Tiff-O-Bitties]

I don't really have one except for the other night when I threw a hammer and punched my ex's windshield when I was drunk...

[B16a2 Civic]

ahh, Leisa was the mom everyone loved then.
that was a good one tho Leisa, i would have went to Goodwill and asked for it back or bought it back LIRL

[Tiff-O-Bitties]

dang it.. now i want some chocolate chip cookies.. looks like i'm having subway for lunch.

[HalfBaked]

Hmm...

I better not.

[ALVIN]

lol Well the craziest story is that I talked to my ex 2 days before we broke up. I tell her i'll probably be going out of town with parents, and she said cool she is going to 6Flags with her friends so I said cool. The day that she went to 6 flags i didnt go out of town because my parents changed their mind...so our mutual friends(not the ones she was going with) call me up and TELL me that I am going to 6 flags with them. So I said cool better than sitting around. See my ex there and we say hello, kiss, do the boyfriend/girlfriend thing for about a minute and go about our ways. The next morning I tell her that its kinda gay she never made time for me (havent seen her for 2 months except for the minute at 6 flags) and she goes its over...after 2 years. I said ok and hung up.

Now after the background here is the story. She breaks up with me and I get my first car (97 honda accord in dark green). I was soo happy and I worked at K-Mart to have money to build it up. One day I walk out and I have like a huge/deep scratch going from front fender to gas cap and a couple more scratches and a pot full of greese on the rear end of my car(trunk/bumper/window). Then she threatens to put a restraining order against me (no reason to do so). This was two years ago she has a 1.5 year old now and is trying to talk to me as best friends now.

sloRSX notes:
1. with a girl for 2 years
2. havent seen her in 2 months
3. see her for a minute at 6 flags
4. talk to her the next day wanting to hang out and she says no
5. tell her its gay that she dont hang out with me
6. she breaks up with me
7. threatens to put a restraining order against me
8. has a baby with a ice dealer
9. is trying to talk to me like we are best of friends.

[B16a2 Civic]

Hmm...

I better not.

[VOICE= Ben Stiller in Starsky and Hutch]
Do IT.....DO IT[/VOICE]

[HalfBaked]

I have to leave for school...

Maybe when I get back.

[B16a2 Civic]

I have to leave for school...

Maybe when I get back.

We'll wait.

[JustinSane110™]

My Exes are crazy stories all by themselves, which is why they're exes, LIRL!! The last one hid her psycho side for a good 8-9 months before it blew up the day before Valentines day 2 years ago. The whole time she was talkin crazy on the phone I was on the computer sending cance e-mails for everything that was gonna be sent to her, LMAOIRL!! I was crackin up the whole time too, when she got done with her little fit I asked her "So does this mean we're through??" She goes, "I dunno" I said right back "Hmmmm, yeah I think we are" laughed and hung up the phone.

JustinSane Notes:
1. Date girl for 8-9 months
2. Everything's going great
3. Girl snaps day before V-Day
4. I'm more concerned with saving money than calming her down, LIRL!!
5. There's no 5 but damn that shit was funny.

[AznTraitor]

hey B, for some reason I knew it was never gonna work between you two.....I dunno, I think it was the fact that she stabbed you in the hand...but that's just a hunch...

[AznTraitor]

My ex wife was a fucking whore. Yup, thats about it.

you tooo?!?!

[A1EX]

My Exes are crazy stories all by themselves, which is why they're exes, LIRL!! The last one hid her psycho side for a good 8-9 months before it blew up the day before Valentines day 2 years ago. The whole time she was talkin crazy on the phone I was on the computer sending cance e-mails for everything that was gonna be sent to her, LMAOIRL!! I was crackin up the whole time too, when she got done with her little fit I asked her "So does this mean we're through??" She goes, "I dunno" I said right back "Hmmmm, yeah I think we are" laughed and hung up the phone.

JustinSane Notes:
1. Date girl for 8-9 months
2. Everything's going great
3. Girl snaps day before V-Day
4. I'm more concerned with saving money than calming her down, LIRL!!
5. There's no 5 but damn that shit was funny.

[B16a2 Civic]

hey B, for some reason I knew it was never gonna work between you two.....I dunno, I think it was the fact that she stabbed you in the hand...but that's just a hunch...

yeah....everytime after that i had my hands in my pockets....or her pockets...hmmmmm LIRL.
i was shocked when it happened, so shocked i didn't do anything but look at her and she looked kind of scared.

[AznTraitor]

Okay, Okay.....the worse one I ever had.....and I've had a few....

but when I was like 19, I was at the driving range with my buddy and I happen to look over and see some girls down the line joking around and not having a good swing or even hitting the ball for that matter...well, I make my way over and started up the chit chat and one of them steps up and says that they dont need any advice and they are fine, so I was like shocked that she was talking that way, and she says "tell you what, if you can drive the ball farther than me, I'll buy you dinner, if I drive the ball farther than you, you buy me dinner", so I agreed. Well, I kinda hooked it a little and got maybe 260yds roughly...but I figured I had it in the bag....well, ole girl damn near hit the fence....turns out she was the captain of the golf team at her high school. Anyways take her out, we then became a couple and basically fucked all the time....and she didnt care where....we fucked in my car, her car, her mom and dad's car, her laundry room, her living room, we even fucked with her friends in the room when we went down to PC and they were all passed out. What always got me scared though was, she always wanted to do it in her room with the door unlocked....her parents would be in the living room or the study and she'd want to go up to her room and fuck! Anyways....when I broke up with her, it was at her house in her room, and all the family was home....but she started screaming "YOU TOOK MY VIRGINITY!!! WE HAD SEX ALL OVER THIS HOUSE!!!" oh man, talk about awkward...I was so scared that her dad was gonna come thru the door and break my neck, so I thought it was a good time to leave and started out and made it down the stairs when all of a sudden, she jumped and grabbed onto my legs and I pretty much dragged her thru the living room, with her mom, dad, and grandparents watching and hearing everything....her dad was sooo red and it really looked like he was about to explode...her mom finally yanked her off me and apologized and I made it out the door when all of a sudden glass exploded right behind me! ole dad threw a plate thru the glass door...and that's when I ran and jumped in the mustang and left 2 lines right down his driveway....


Azntraitor notes:
1.)met girl at driving range and she bamboozled me
2.)girl liked to fuck, all the time, everywhere
3.)when I broke up with her she screamed" YOU TOO MY VIRGINITY!! AND WE HAD SEX ALL OVER THIS HOUSE" with all of her family listening on
4.)grabbed onto my legs and I had to drag her thru the living room
5.)her dad threw a plate at me just when I closed the door, causing glass to go everywhere
6.)jumped in my car and left tire marks all down their driveway

[The Golden Child]

Okay, Okay.....the worse one I ever had.....and I've had a few....

but when I was like 19, I was at the driving range with my buddy and I happen to look over and see some girls down the line joking around and not having a good swing or even hitting the ball for that matter...well, I make my way over and started up the chit chat and one of them steps up and says that they dont need any advice and they are fine, so I was like shocked that she was talking that way, and she says "tell you what, if you can drive the ball farther than me, I'll buy you dinner, if I drive the ball farther than you, you buy me dinner", so I agreed. Well, I kinda hooked it a little and got maybe 260yds roughly...but I figured I had it in the bag....well, ole girl damn near hit the fence....turns out she was the captain of the golf team at her high school. Anyways take her out, we then became a couple and basically fucked all the time....and she didnt care where....we fucked in my car, her car, her mom and dad's car, her laundry room, her living room, we even fucked with her friends in the room when we went down to PC and they were all passed out. What always got me scared though was, she always wanted to do it in her room with the door unlocked....her parents would be in the living room or the study and she'd want to go up to her room and fuck! Anyways....when I broke up with her, it was at her house in her room, and all the family was home....but she started screaming "YOU TOOK MY VIRGINITY!!! WE HAD SEX ALL OVER THIS HOUSE!!!" oh man, talk about awkward...I was so scared that her dad was gonna come thru the door and break my neck, so I thought it was a good time to leave and started out and made it down the stairs when all of a sudden, she jumped and grabbed onto my legs and I pretty much dragged her thru the living room, with her mom, dad, and grandparents watching and hearing everything....her dad was sooo red and it really looked like he was about to explode...her mom finally yanked her off me and apologized and I made it out the door when all of a sudden glass exploded right behind me! ole dad threw a plate thru the glass door...and that's when I ran and jumped in the mustang and left 2 lines right down his driveway....


Azntraitor notes:
1.)met girl at driving range and she bamboozled me
2.)girl liked to fuck, all the time, everywhere
3.)when I broke up with her she screamed" YOU TOO MY VIRGINITY!! AND WE HAD SEX ALL OVER THIS HOUSE" with all of her family listening on
4.)grabbed onto my legs and I had to drag her thru the living room
5.)her dad threw a plate at me just when I closed the door, causing glass to go everywhere
6.)jumped in my car and left tire marks all down their driveway

crazy story

[B16a2 Civic]

Okay, Okay.....the worse one I ever had.....and I've had a few....

but when I was like 19, I was at the driving range with my buddy and I happen to look over and see some girls down the line joking around and not having a good swing or even hitting the ball for that matter...well, I make my way over and started up the chit chat and one of them steps up and says that they dont need any advice and they are fine, so I was like shocked that she was talking that way, and she says "tell you what, if you can drive the ball farther than me, I'll buy you dinner, if I drive the ball farther than you, you buy me dinner", so I agreed. Well, I kinda hooked it a little and got maybe 260yds roughly...but I figured I had it in the bag....well, ole girl damn near hit the fence....turns out she was the captain of the golf team at her high school. Anyways take her out, we then became a couple and basically fucked all the time....and she didnt care where....we fucked in my car, her car, her mom and dad's car, her laundry room, her living room, we even fucked with her friends in the room when we went down to PC and they were all passed out. What always got me scared though was, she always wanted to do it in her room with the door unlocked....her parents would be in the living room or the study and she'd want to go up to her room and fuck! Anyways....when I broke up with her, it was at her house in her room, and all the family was home....but she started screaming "YOU TOOK MY VIRGINITY!!! WE HAD SEX ALL OVER THIS HOUSE!!!" oh man, talk about awkward...I was so scared that her dad was gonna come thru the door and break my neck, so I thought it was a good time to leave and started out and made it down the stairs when all of a sudden, she jumped and grabbed onto my legs and I pretty much dragged her thru the living room, with her mom, dad, and grandparents watching and hearing everything....her dad was sooo red and it really looked like he was about to explode...her mom finally yanked her off me and apologized and I made it out the door when all of a sudden glass exploded right behind me! ole dad threw a plate thru the glass door...and that's when I ran and jumped in the mustang and left 2 lines right down his driveway....


Azntraitor notes:
1.)met girl at driving range and she bamboozled me
2.)girl liked to fuck, all the time, everywhere
3.)when I broke up with her she screamed" YOU TOO MY VIRGINITY!! AND WE HAD SEX ALL OVER THIS HOUSE" with all of her family listening on
4.)grabbed onto my legs and I had to drag her thru the living room
5.)her dad threw a plate at me just when I closed the door, causing glass to go everywhere
6.)jumped in my car and left tire marks all down their driveway

thats the best story yo,....man she was a nympho.
hmm would i know her...oh yeah my ex name was shoalin...she was short and light skinned...looks like she is mixed but she's just black.
Oh yeah, do you kno a Scott Balough? he went to CSU and was part of the army thing then

[AznTraitor]

thats the best story yo,....man she was a nympho.
hmm would i know her...oh yeah my ex name was shoalin...she was short and light skinned...looks like she is mixed but she's just black.
Oh yeah, do you kno a Scott Balough? he went to CSU and was part of the army thing then

dude, I didnt know she'd be a nympho....and she was a all american girl, blonde hair, blue eyes....I told you son, I only dated two asian girls in my whole lifetime!

I dont recognize the name, but I know a Bengough!

[COGCaviZ24]

one of my ex's is working in porn. she cheated on me, go figure right?

[5thgcelica]

eh. none of mine are that crazy...lol

but... me and my ex were goin out, 4-5 months i think. its christmas time... she tells me one night online that we need to talk sometime. okay fine whatever. so, next day... online she tells me that she had sex with her best friend. just cause she was at home, alone and bored. im thinking WTF? so i tell her its over, and then she goes and gets mad at me cause i broke up with her, and that she should have never told me..etc etc. oh well whatever.

notes:
go out with girl for 5 months
has sex with her best friend randomly
gets mad at me cause i break up with her.

[B16a2 Civic]

bump bump bump WHAT, all in yo trunk WHAT, kickers, tweaters, and speakers all in yo TRUNK- Killer mike

[B16a2 Civic]

bump bump bump WHAT, all in yo trunk WHAT, kickers, tweaters, and speakers all in yo TRUNK- Killer mike

more stories.

[collins]

haha, my craziest story is the one everybody already knows! lol yeah, i'll just leave it at that.....

[B16a2 Civic]

haha, my craziest story is the one everybody already knows! lol yeah, i'll just leave it at that.....

LIRL, did you settle out of court?

[collins]

haha, nope, we go the 25th. i aint payin shit i dont owe! lol you crazy?

[Rabunchic]

I hear ya

[B16a2 Civic]

that will rank as one of teh craziest

[thinkfast®]

ok I got one comin son... it involves murder meyhem and murda mommies!!

(not really, just building up the story)

details to follow..

[Hulud]

thats how we do it!

[collins]

hahahaha, yes. yes she was....

but i have another one for ya.....

i dated this cuban chick a while back, well she had 5 huge pitbulls!!! 4 of them roamed the house, while the other one had to be couped up for the other 4's saftey... well one day, petey (the 5th one) got out of the locked room and attacked 3 of the others... the papa jumped in tryin to rip the dogs off of each other, turns out petey and another dog jump on pops. pops goes to the hospital to get wounds treated (shoulda gone to grady, if ya ask me!) well after a couple days he comes home from the hospital and i ask him, lol should i get your gun? the mofo bans me from the house! haha i was like, whuteva doood.. peace.

maria (the cuban hottie) calls me the next day apologizing for her pops and shit, i was like ho, when you get rid of the pits, we'll talk. haha damn she was a nympho too. and she was HOT! lol but i aint riskin my life for no poon... sorry...

[B16a2 Civic]

hahahaha, yes. yes she was....

but i have another one for ya.....

i dated this cuban chick a while back, well she had 5 huge pitbulls!!! 4 of them roamed the house, while the other one had to be couped up for the other 4's saftey... well one day, petey (the 5th one) got out of the locked room and attacked 3 of the others... the papa jumped in tryin to rip the dogs off of each other, turns out petey and another dog jump on pops. pops goes to the hospital to get wounds treated (shoulda gone to grady, if ya ask me!) well after a couple days he comes home from the hospital and i ask him, lol should i get your gun? the mofo bans me from the house! haha i was like, whuteva doood.. peace.

maria (the cuban hottie) calls me the next day apologizing for her pops and shit, i was like ho, when you get rid of the pits, we'll talk. haha damn she was a nympho too. and she was HOT! lol but i aint riskin my life for no poon... sorry...

i dated a Honduran once....now that was soom great sex....boy was it

[usuckatlife]

yes sir, latinos are freaks. had a couple fuck buddies, but never dated one.

[thinkfast®]

OK, so I’m datin this chick right, some FOB Colombian chick, (FOB= Fresh Off da Boat) real nice (at first) we was datin like 3 years man.. so anyways, time goes on, she gets accustomed to the US and how we does over here, bla bla bla.. this chick had her moms come up to me askin about marryin this chick, for her papers son!!! (she was here illegally, couldn’t stay here unless she married an American citizen) WTF?!?!?!?!

Anyways, I said no off the bat, and we was poundin out one day, well in between her usual “ay papi si”, “duro papi duro” and “hit this shit w/ some West Coast dick, ricky!” shes like ”will you marry me?” so I’m sittin here starin at the small puddle on her lower back thinking, “fuck is wrong w/ this chick?” I gave her some more butthole pleasure, dipped out, the next 6 months were hell, I got caught cheating, she didn’t like me no more, we broke up, got back together for the WCD (West Coast Dick) she goes psycho, starts flippin out on all my friends, alienating them and all that. I’m not really sure what I mean by alienating, she was just a bigtime weirdo.

Well we decide to give it another go round, this time no strings attached.. We have been broken up for like a month, but I’ve been dating another chick for like 2-3 months now, this white chick from another forum well anyways, I decide I want to spice things up, you know since its me and shit, I want some excitement. I borrow the white she-devils car,(which is a one of a kind, YELLOW STAGE 3 SALEEN FOCUS) BAD MOVE…

First off white girl was supposedly real sick, so I figure, “what the hell, she aint gon see me son!” well on my way out the door I put on like 5 pounds of Cool Water, which all girls go crazy for and can’t stay off your nuts (it’s a known fact, please don’t try and dispute it) She gets the bright idea of tailing my ass, she calls up another homeys of mine girlfriend, (who is OCD and psycho stalker, she knows her shit) Well my ass takes the FOB to dinner and a movie, dinner being whatever room service brought at the Days Inn off Jimmy Carter.. we hit up the movie show, and as we are coming out, I had like, my sixth sense or something tap me on the shoulder. Well I ignored it like a mo’fo!!

I go get in my side of the door, FOB chick gets in, and before I can throw it in reverse, here comes a Volvo station wagon with 2 white angry bitches!! They are yellin about “beaner” this, and “baldheaded thug” that, I’m like “fuck this shit!” I call up my homey to come pick me up, and dip the fuk out. White girls take FOB home, they are all in there cryin over me, (cause I tagged my homeys girl too, like a couple summers before) they all reminiscing, aw maan it was classic. Classic shit right there.

And that, my friends, is the reason I shall never date an American white woman again.


Thinkfast’s Gangsta ass notes:

1. FOB= Fresh Off da Boat
2. I dated an illegal FOB who wants marriage/white picket fence
3. I say NO to love/marriage, but YES to “ay papi” hardcore action
4. Buy lots of Cool Water, hoodrats love it
5. WHITE BITCHES ARE CRAZY SON

[B16a2 Civic]

OK, so I’m datin this chick right, some FOB Colombian chick, (FOB= Fresh Off da Boat) real nice (at first) we was datin like 3 years man.. so anyways, time goes on, she gets accustomed to the US and how we does over here, bla bla bla.. this chick had her moms come up to me askin about marryin this chick, for her papers son!!! (she was here illegally, couldn’t stay here unless she married an American citizen) WTF?!?!?!?!

Anyways, I said no off the bat, and we was poundin out one day, well in between her usual “ay papi si”, “duro papi duro” and “hit this shit w/ some West Coast dick, ricky!” shes like ”will you marry me?” so I’m sittin here starin at the small puddle on her lower back thinking, “fuck is wrong w/ this chick?” I gave her some more butthole pleasure, dipped out, the next 6 months were hell, I got caught cheating, she didn’t like me no more, we broke up, got back together for the WCD (West Coast Dick) she goes psycho, starts flippin out on all my friends, alienating them and all that. I’m not really sure what I mean by alienating, she was just a bigtime weirdo.

Well we decide to give it another go round, this time no strings attached.. We have been broken up for like a month, but I’ve been dating another chick for like 2-3 months now, this white chick from another forum well anyways, I decide I want to spice things up, you know since its me and shit, I want some excitement. I borrow the white she-devils car,(which is a YELLOW STAGE 3 SALEEN FOCUS) BAD MOVE…

First off white girl was supposedly real sick, so I figure, “what the hell, she aint gon see me son!” well on my way out the door I put on like 5 pounds of Cool Water, which all girls go crazy for and can’t stay off your nuts (it’s a known fact, please don’t try and dispute it) She gets the bright idea of tailing my ass, she calls up another homeys of mine girlfriend, (who is OCD and psycho stalker, she knows her shit) Well my ass takes the FOB to dinner and a movie, dinner being whatever room service brought at the Days Inn off Jimmy Carter.. we hit up the movie show, and as we are coming out, I had like, my sixth sense or something tap me on the shoulder. Well I ignored it like a mo’fo!!

I go get in my side of the door, FOB chick gets in, and before I can throw it in reverse, here comes a Volvo station wagon with 2 white angry bitches!! They are yellin about “beaner” this, and “baldheaded thug” that, I’m like “fuck this shit!” I call up my homey to come pick me up, and dip the fuk out. White girls take FOB home, they are all in therE cryin over me, (cause I tagged my homeys girl too, like a couple summers before) they all reminiscing, aw maan it was classic. Classic shit right there.

And that, my friends, is the reason I shall never date an American white woman again.


Thinkfast’s Gangsta ass notes:

1. FOB= Fresh Off da Boat
2. I dated an illegal FOB who wants marriage/picket fence
3. I say NO to love/marriage, but YES to “ay papi” hardcore action
4. Buy lots of Cool Water, hoodrats love it
5. WHITE BITCHES ARE CRAZY SON

damn son, she must have had the force with her followin you and shit
i used to have one too, she only did the oral tho, put som espit spat on her face afterwards,,,especially her eyes....sje wanted to " see my kids play" hah

[collins]

omfg!!!! that was fuggin awesome!!! fob's and everythang!

[B16a2 Civic]

i have another but since im at work i have to find tehtime to write it all, maybe on my next break

[thinkfast®]

i have another but since im at work i have to find tehtime to write it all, maybe on my next break

yea man this shit for real took me like 5 minutes to write, but I was doin it in between policies, hahaha

[babygurl]

hmm that story was very interesting!



keep up the good work!