No Christmas Holiday party...

[thinkfast®]

Holiday Party
December 1st

TO: ALL EMPLOYEES

I'm happy to inform you that the company Christmas Party will take place
on December 23rd at Luigi's Open Pit Barbecue. There will be lots of
spiked eggnog and a small band playing traditional carols...feel free to
sing along. And don't be surprised if our CEO shows up dressed as Santa
Claus to light the Christmas tree! Exchange of gifts among employees can
be done at that time; however, no gift should be over $10.

Merry Christmas to you and your family.

Patty Lewis

Human Resources Director


December 2nd

TO: ALL EMPLOYEES

In no way was yesterday's memo intended to exclude our Jewish employees.
We recognize that Hanukkah is a n important holiday that often coincides
with Christmas (though unfortunately not this year). However, from now on
we're calling it our "Holiday Party." The same policy applies to employees
who are celebrating Kwanzaa at this time. There will be no Christmas tree
and no Christmas carols sung.

Happy Holidays to you and your family.

Patty Lewis

Human Resources Director


December 3rd

TO: ALL EMPLOYEES

Regarding the anonymous note I received from a member of Alcoholics
Anonymous requesting a non-drinking table, I'm happy to accommodate this
request, but, don't forget, if I put a sign on the table that reads, "AA
Only," you won't be anonymous anymore. In addition, forget about the gifts
exchange-no gifts will be allowed since the union members feel that $10 is
too much money.

Patty Lewis
gt;
Human Researchers Director


December 7th

TO: ALL EMPLOYEES

I've arranged for members of Overeaters Anonymous to sit farthest from the
dessert buffet and pregnant women closest to the restrooms. Gays are
allowed to sit with each other. Lesbians do not have to sit with the gay
men; each will have their table. Yes, there will be a flower arrangement
for the gay men's table. Happy now?

Patty Lewis

Human Racehorses Director


December 9th

TO: ALL EMPLOYEES

People, people-nothing sinister was intended by wanting our CEO to play
Santa Claus! Even if the anagram of "Santa" does happen to be "Satan,"
there is no evil connotation to our own "little man in a red suit."

Patty Lewis

Human Ratraces Director


December 10th

TO: ALL EMPLOYEES

Vegetarians-I've had it with you people!! We're going to hold this party
at Luigi's Open Pit whether you like it or not, you can just sit at the
table farthest from the "grill of death," as you put it, and you'll get
salad bar only, including hydroponics tomatoes. But, you know, tomatoes
have feelings, too. They scream when you slice them. I've heard them
scream. I'm hearing them right now...

Ha! I hope you all have a rotten holiday! Drive drunk and die, you hear
me?
The Bitch from Hell


December 14th
TO: ALL EMPLOYEES

I'm sure I speak for all of us in wishing Patty Lewis a speedy recovery
from her stress-related illness. I'll continue to forward your cards to
her at the sanitarium. In the meantime, management has decided to cancel
our Holiday Party and give everyone the afternoon of the 23rd off with
full pay.
Happy Holidays!

Terri Bishop

Acting Human Resources Director

[B16a2 Civic]

LIRL!!

[Seymour222]

Damn Commies.

[thinkfast®]

HAHA dictation without representation? hows it go

[Trouble300zx]

lmao..... my work "christmas" party was a 'go or you're fired' party... nice eh?

[BTEC]

lmao..... my work "christmas" party was a 'go or you're fired' party... nice eh?

F U RACH!!!!!! gottagobye

[Trouble300zx]

lmao... yeah okay Mr. I drove up here and now i think my car's gonna throw a rod... SLACKER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! lmao ;-)

(and you'd like to f--- me, but....)

[BTEC]

lmao... yeah okay Mr. I drove up here and now i think my car's gonna throw a rod... SLACKER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! lmao ;-)

(and you'd like to f--- me, but....)

do what??!!
my car did damn near throw a rod. I was on the side of 400 for 2 hrs at 11pm cold as hell!!

[Seymour222]

And some really kewl dude came to tha rescue, comforting you in your time of "clickety, clickety, clack, clack" in the subzero temperature. Damn that dude was nice.

[BTEC]

And some really kewl dude came to tha rescue, comforting you in your time of "clickety, clickety, clack, clack" in the subzero temperature. Damn that dude was nice.

hey look who is is. the guy who make posts and never check back to see if ne body responded to his post. But yeah some dude did show up and hooked me up. It was really nice of him to call me back to, even though it only took an hr or so for him to call back and see y he had like 13 missed calls from me.

[Seymour222]

Yea, that dude is a douche. Vinegar and Water trapped in a plastic bottle of emotion.
Wow he responded. +1 to me.

[Seymour222]

I mean +1 to "HiM".

[BTEC]

Yea, that dude is a douche. Vinegar and Water trapped in a plastic bottle of emotion.
Wow he responded. +1 to me.

oh sh*t he did respond. Somebody must have told him to keep a check on that. +1, hmmm

[Seymour222]

Yea, you gotta have skillz, you know, dancing skillz, bo staff skillz, typing in response to good conversation in IA threads skillz.

[BTEC]

I mean +1 to "HiM".

lol!!! thats what i though.

[BTEC]

Yea, you gotta have skillz, you know, dancing skillz, bo staff skillz, typing in response to good conversation in IA threads skillz.

dude, would a liger be ur favorite animal too?

[Seymour222]

By tha way, that BTEC pic is too kewl. Isn't it Ironic, dont ya think. In addition to that, the original joke at the beginning of the thread was pretty funny.

[Seymour222]

dude, would a liger be ur favorite animal too?

Its a toss up between a liger and a tigress.

[BTEC]

Its a toss up between a liger and a tigress.

well the liger is my fav. Tell i got that CRAP she left on my porch in my locker. lol!!!

[thinkfast®]

I already made like infinity of those

[IndianStig]

lirl

hah no caps, bishes

[thinkfast®]

GOSH!