Quote Originally Posted by oneof9400 View Post
Well damn.... At least you'll have a great lawn and didn't have to do a damn thing about it! You get to watch some punk work his ass off while you drink a nice cold one!
So i pull into my drive today after a nice enjoyable ride on my motorcycle and before i can get my leg over the bike, PING! smacked right in the back of the helmet by a baseball bat. I'm usually a strong advocate against the helmet laws here in georgia, but in this case, it served it's purpose. So i quickly turn around thinking this was a robbery attempt or something and there i see my old whore of an exgirlfriend. She had jumped out of the bushes and tried to take me out. So i pull out my sidearm and point it at that crazy bitch... she's holding the bat and snarling like some kind of angry rabid dog. I express to her that i would lose a minute's sleep over putting a hollow point right through her titty. We're sitting there kind of in a stand off, so i get my phone out and dial up the police. We both sit there in a stand off for about 15 minutes until the police pull up, by this time the neighbors have already gathered around watching the drama. so 3 police cruisers pull up right about the same time, one of the officers jumps right out of the car and shoot's a nonlethal beanbag round out of his shotgun, the bag hit's that crazy whore somewhere in the stomach and disorients her. She stumbles over in the driveway and the cops dive on her, one of them blasts her with mace, the other one kneeing her in the stomach. It was hilarious. So they cuff her and put her in the back of the cruiser. The cops ask me i'm ok and an EMT checks to see if im injured. My neighbors were all astonished at how swiftly the cops handled the situation and they asked me how they knew which one of us to go after so i informed them of a secret i learned in the police academy for helping with domestic violence situations since the male is usually the one assumed at fault. You simply dial 911, soon as they pick up, just say your address and follow it up with "bitches be crazy" , that's the universal code for hostile female attacker. I had an insurance adjuster come out since the baseball bat grazed my gas tank and put a little dent in it. I think i'm gonna use the $735 towards putting up a new gate instead of fixing the dent on my bike.