honestly, just go to a goddamn park.

buy some food with your uber cool friends and make a picnic or if it's too cold for you pussies just stay in. your 5 month old shouldn't be out and about so much anyway. you should wait at least 7 months or until they're able to sit-up. tell your friends if you can go over to one of their places. that's another good idea. you can all take turns feeding your kid baby food (if it's not it should be by now). i know it's your first child, but it's not astrophysics.

it's common sense, really.

you probably aren't doing it on purpose because well, you're still a kid but don't say shit like vortex and cool places to go. seriously, it's time to grow up a little. troll it up and get your kicks online if you must, but i hope you dont act so elementary irl.