Need some insight on something

[Bacon]

People that know me know I am a down to earth person and very easy going and great to get along with. This goes for work as well as personal. I have my own problems but so does the next person. Now, everyone has their own personal lives and with that comes thing that just shouldn't come to light with anyone but the parties directly involved; more specifically things of a sexual nature. If someone shares something with you in private, it should stay that way and not be told to anyone. Same thing goes if someone sends you pictures of themselves. At which point, should you find yourself sharing/bragging/showing off said pictures to your buddies it then becomes their business as well. People mistake my kindness and friendliness for weakness most of the time. I am a firm believer in people needing to know things if it involves them. I have ruined relationships, jobs, and two marriages because I have passed information that they needed to be made aware of. Call it what you like but that is the kind of person I am. Case in point:

Co-worker shares some pictures with me that are of his "side pussy" of which I happen to be friends with said lady. Same co-worker openly brags to other co-workers about "banging" this chic and "fucking" that chic. All of this information is private and typically should not be shared with anyone.....especially since he is "happily married" and occasionally brings his wife up here to work to visit. So, his infidelities are widely known throughout the company but his wife is obviously kept in the dark. How can he get mad at me for sharing "need to know" information to forementioned lady when he is married with a new baby girl?

I can't stand cheaters. Never understood the concept of it either and I have never cheated on anyone I have ever been with nor have I ever been in the position of "banging" two girls at the same time during my single years. I have been with the same girl for almost 10 years and we currently have a four year old son and one due in September. Mind you though; I do look at other women all day and have been known to flirt but at the end of the day I know what I come home to every night when I am not at work. This is just something that came to mind when he asked me what I told her and then stormed off when I told him slamming the door behind him.

"If you ask a question you don't want an answer to....expect an answer you don't want to get."

Discuss.

[Sinfix_15]

I'm not feeling you on this one. It's not your place to play relationship sheriff. Who decided the information was "need to know"? If he has a baby girl on the way, what is more important to that baby girl's upbringing? her family staying together, or what her dad does with his penis? It's best for you to just mind your business with things like this.

I myself would be pretty pissed off about someone meddling in my business, whether i was in the wrong or not.

[Bacon]

Personal business is your own and not to be shared with others if you don't want it getting out.

[RandomGuy]

Dunno, i completely disagree with you. As messed up as it is, it required no input on your end as it completely had nothing to do with you. Furthermore, even seemingly 'messed up' scenarios have more to the story than you may be aware of.

Let everyone build their own palace or dig their own grave, I think. None of the blame or guilt is on your shoulders by not getting involved in the passive stance.

[koukis14]

Please excuse me I am extremely hung over. So Dude you work with showed you naked pics of one of your friends he is currently stuffing his wiener into on a semi regular basis not knowing you were friends with her and you told her he was showing people nude pics of her that she sent him???

[koukis14]

Or did you tell the wife he is cheating on her?

[CSquared]

Same question. Context is a little confusing.

[quickdodge®]

Being someone on the receiving end of news of infidelity, I'll have to side with you, Bacon. My first wife was unfaithful to me and my best friends found out and came straight to me with it. That was the end of it. I would hate to think that someone is carrying on with their life not knowing that something of that nature was going on behind his/her back. That's disgusting and unsafe. If that was a true family, then the dude would not be messing around with another. A family involves husband and wife and children. Not a husband, wife, children and other females. If this dude was intent on having his family remain intact, he would do one of two things: not tell anyone of his indiscretions or not do it in the first place. If his child is in the forefront of his mind, one, he wouldn't be messing with his family and two, if this causes a family break up, then he will still be in that child's life regardless.

Bottom line is is that he needed to be "ratted out." If he didn't want to be caught, he should've kept to himself. Later, QD.

[Sinfix_15]

Being someone on the receiving end of news of infidelity, I'll have to side with you, Bacon. My first wife was unfaithful to me and my best friends found out and came straight to me with it. That was the end of it. I would hate to think that someone is carrying on with their life not knowing that something of that nature was going on behind his/her back. That's disgusting and unsafe. If that was a true family, then the dude would not be messing around with another. A family involves husband and wife and children. Not a husband, wife, children and other females. If this dude was intent on having his family remain intact, he would do one of two things: not tell anyone of his indiscretions or not do it in the first place. If his child is in the forefront of his mind, one, he wouldn't be messing with his family and two, if this causes a family break up, then he will still be in that child's life regardless.

Bottom line is is that he needed to be "ratted out." If he didn't want to be caught, he should've kept to himself. Later, QD.

Friends and acquaintances have a different set of rules. If me and you were long time friends and your girl cheated on you, i would tell you. If me and a girl were long time friends and some random guy cheated on her, i would tell her.

If one of my co-workers told my wife i was cheating on her. I would probably beat him half to death. If one of my wife's legitimate friends found out i was cheating and told her, i wouldnt be mad at them. If one of my friends told on me, they would catch a beating also.

[Sinfix_15]

Personal business is your own and not to be shared with others if you don't want it getting out.

That kind of talk doesn't fly where i'm from. I don't think i know a single person who wouldn't beat the shit out of you under the circumstance you described.

[CSquared]

If you are friends with the wife, I wouldn't see it as an issue that you told her. If you aren't... Or are just acquaintances... then it's a little bit shady.

None the less, the dude is obviously a scumbag and would have gotten caught on his own eventually. What amazes me most about this guy, is not only cheating on his wife, but then showing off pictures of the girls he's cheating with. If you ever wanted a "mistress" to flip out and confess to your wife, showing her pictures around town is definitely a good way to get it done.

I have also always been someone that is faithful to the chicks I'm with. Hell, I had a one night stand once and felt like shit about it for weeks afterwards (long story). But it just takes a certain type of d-bag to thrive on infidelity. Fuck that dude. Whether or not it "was your place", he is an asshole and his wife deserves to know one way or another.

[koukis14]

That kind of talk doesn't fly where i'm from. I don't think i know a single person who wouldn't beat the shit out of you under the circumstance you described.

Because nothing makes going through a divorce easier than dealing with assault and battery charges at the same time?

[Sinfix_15]

Because nothing makes going through a divorce easier than dealing with assault and battery charges at the same time?

This is just one of those things where my anger would overwhelm me. Doesn't matter who is right or wrong.

[Catnip]

If you are friends with the wife, I wouldn't see it as an issue that you told her. If you aren't... Or are just acquaintances... then it's a little bit shady.

None the less, the dude is obviously a scumbag and would have gotten caught on his own eventually. What amazes me most about this guy, is not only cheating on his wife, but then showing off pictures of the girls he's cheating with. If you ever wanted a "mistress" to flip out and confess to your wife, showing her pictures around town is definitely a good way to get it done.

I have also always been someone that is faithful to the chicks I'm with. Hell, I had a one night stand once and felt like shit about it for weeks afterwards (long story). But it just takes a certain type of d-bag to thrive on infidelity. Fuck that dude. Whether or not it "was your place", he is an asshole and his wife deserves to know one way or another.

This.

Never understood being with someone, to go fuck around with other people. I've been cheated on and it's a horrible feeling I'm not willing to put someone through.

[quickdodge®]

Friends and acquaintances have a different set of rules.

I strongly disagree. Cheating does not have guidelines or separate rules. Cheating is wrong no matter what. Don't want to be caught? Tell one. Co-worker, acquaintance or best friend? If the dude (or female) cheats, the other finds out. It's the right thing to do.

If one of my friends told on me, they would catch a beating also.

Because you got caught or because he shouldn't have said anything.

That kind of talk doesn't fly where i'm from. I don't think i know a single person who wouldn't beat the shit out of you under the circumstance you described.

Where you're from? Where is that? I can slightly understand the opinions of people that have never been married being different from a married person's opinions. Wait until you get married and see if your point of views change. Bet they will. But I hope that when (if) you do get married, you never have t worry about that happening to find out. Later, QD.

[Sinfix_15]

I strongly disagree. Cheating does not have guidelines or separate rules. Cheating is wrong no matter what. Don't want to be caught? Tell one. Co-worker, acquaintance or best friend? If the dude (or female) cheats, the other finds out. It's the right thing to do.



Because you got caught or because he shouldn't have said anything.



Where you're from? Where is that? Later, QD.

None of my friends would say anything to my GF about anything i did. Your friends were there before your gf and will be there after your gf.... their loyalty should be with your friendship. It would be a more serious offense if my friend did it vs some random person or co-worker.

I honestly do not know a single guy who would rat me out to anyone i was dating..... nor do i know a single guy who wouldn't come after me if i did that. I'm actually in shock at the diversity of responses in this thread....... i guess the unspoken code is too unspoken.

[koukis14]

Where you're from? Where is that?

Asskickingtonville: Mayor Chuck Norris. Better Homes and Gardens voted in most likely city to get the shit beat out of you for no good fucking reason. They have a lovely cherry blossom festival in the spring but don't stare too long or you will be on the ass end of an ass kicking.

[Catnip]

None of my friends would say anything to my GF about anything i did. Your friends were there before your gf and will be there after your gf.... their loyalty should be with your friendship. It would be a more serious offense if my friend did it vs some random person or co-worker.

I honestly do not know a single guy who would rat me out to anyone i was dating..... nor do i know a single guy who wouldn't come after me if i did that. I'm actually in shock at the diversity of responses in this thread....... i guess the unspoken code is too unspoken.

So what if the cheatin friend's girl called you up asking about a specific situation he has bragged about to you?

Do you confirm, deny, or stay neutral?

[Sinfix_15]

Asskickingtonville: Mayor Chuck Norris. Better Homes and Gardens voted in most likely city to get the shit beat out of you for no good fucking reason. They have a lovely cherry blossom festival in the spring but don't stare too long or you with be on the ass end of an ass kicking.

There's very few things worth fighting over. This is one of them.

[CSquared]

There's very few things worth fighting over. This is one of them.

The cherry blossoms?

[koukis14]

Anyway my view is if you are not good friends with the wife and you told her then you are in the wrong. If you told the chick your scumbag coworker is flogging about the pics then you are in the right....but it should be followed by "Don't send naked pics of yourself if you don't want all his friends seeing them you stupid bitch" Then grab her titties because she probably has no self respect and she will enjoy it.

[Sinfix_15]

So what if the cheatin friend's girl called you up asking about a specific situation he has bragged about to you?

Do you confirm, deny, or stay neutral?

If my friend's gf called me about something my friend did.... i would deny any knowledge of anything. Even if he was caught red handed, i wouldn't be the person to come out with it.

[koukis14]

The cherry blossoms?

BWAAAHAHAHAHAHA

[quickdodge®]

I'm actually in shock at the diversity of responses in this thread.......

In a way, I am too. But remember, most of the responses in here are from single people giving opinions on a subject involving marriage. Being in a relationship is being in a relationship, but there is a lot more involvement with a marriage. There's quite a difference.

I am also old school in where I care about other people and their feelings. I don't mean that as an insult to you or anyone else, but I see the younger generation not as caring as the older one. Later, QD.

[koukis14]

Agreed

[Sinfix_15]

In a way, I am too. But remember, most of the responses in here are from single people giving opinions on a subject involving marriage. Being in a relationship is being in a relationship, but there is a lot more involvement with a marriage. There's quite a difference.

I am also old school in where I care about other people and their feelings. I don't mean that as an insult to you or anyone else, but I see the younger generation not as caring as the older one. Later, QD.

You can be devoted to someone and make a mistake. Let's say you've been married 10-15 years and you're 100% in love with your wife and want to be with her forever, but in a moment of weakness you cheat with someone else. You immediately realize it was a mistake and know that you will never do it again. It had nothing to do with your emotional attachment to your wife, it was strictly physical.

I think that it is your's and only your decision on if, when or how you decide to tell your wife. It's not mine and it certainly isnt your coworkers.

[Sinfix_15]

also, it's up to the individual how important monogamy is to their relationship. Not everyone thinks of sex as this soul binding bond between two people who were meant to spend their lives together.

[Catnip]

You can be devoted to someone and make a mistake. Let's say you've been married 10-15 years and you're 100% in love with your wife and want to be with her forever, but in a moment of weakness you cheat with someone else. You immediately realize it was a mistake and know that you will never do it again. It had nothing to do with your emotional attachment to your wife, it was strictly physical.

I think that it is your's and only your decision on if, when or how you decide to tell your wife. It's not mine and it certainly isnt your coworkers.

Just a mistake doesn't involve sex with someone else.

[CSquared]

Just a mistake doesn't involve sex with someone else.

lol it takes a lot of effort to "accidentally" put your penis in someone else.

[Sinfix_15]

Just a mistake doesn't involve sex with someone else.

I'm not sure what you mean...... sex can certainly happen on an impulse decision, its not always a premeditated act of "unfaithfulness".

[Sinfix_15]

lol it takes a lot of effort to "accidentally" put your penis in someone else.

I feel like i'm on punked or something.... like you people are intentionally messing with me. There's no way my stance on this is THIS different from everyone else. I dont feel this out of touch in church.





anyways, out of sandpaper and painting shit, gotta make a run. Comment more on this later.

[koukis14]

Just a mistake doesn't involve sex with someone else.

Agreed. Who here hasn't accidentally inserted the most private and sensitive part of their body inside another persons most private and sensitive parts?




So the coworker may not have been satisfied with his wife in some or many ways. Maybe he has expressed his dissatisfaction to his wife and asked her to change to save the relationship. Maybe she is a stubborn bitch that can't handle doing anything outside her comfort zone. Maybe what he is asking is way fucking out of whack. Maybe he wants to have sex more than once a month or maybe he wants her to dress like Alice Cooper and lick his asshole after eating Taco Bell. Or anywhere in between. Maybe he is just a scumbag that fucks anything that wanders into his field of vision and his wife is doing everything he asks and worships the ground he walks on. Maybe the wife is fucking a guy or ten behind his back. Maybe people should mind their fucking business if it doesn't directly involve someone they care about and they don't have all the facts.

[frostbyte]

A point missed is bacon said he shares pics and stories of the girls hes fucking on the side not jist the chick he works with but on a regular basis is sharing his sexcapade stories and shit with his other coworkers as well.. In this case it was not just an "ACCIDENT" hes an hibitual cheater that deserved to be busted out and made a fool out of... And apparently bacon stayed nuetral til it was a coworker chick friend he was braggin about bonin now and showin pics of. Personally i say stay out of it if u know whats goin on that dude fell victim to being a weak man with a penis that has a mind of its on. But at the point he continuously puts his bad habits on your shoulders and eventually ends up being a chick your even remotely friends with, she has the right to know if nothing else that hes showing her nude pics to everyone... I was cheated on for years by my ex and my best friend knew about it he didnt open his mouth til i found out first hand. I beat his ass for not telling me and letting me waste 4 yrs on a triffling ass hoe. I dont care if friend or just a co worker or even a dude i say hi to at the bar on a friday night. If they know my ole'lady os a hoe ans know me enough to strike up a conversation every otuer day i would hope theyd tell me they saw my gf bonin some dude behind walmart lol.. True story

[nelson9995]

I would have to agree with Sinfix 100%. Nothing worse than a gossiper. In my book it is all it is. I would expect that more from a female.

IMO, it is not his job to tell anyone, or either party involved. The other guy trusted him showing him the pics. If he didn't like it he should have simply not looked at them and moved on. I would be angrier than the guy who just drove off. I probably wouldn't get physical, but I know for a fact me and others would lose respect for the guy who told the girl which in this case is Bacon. Under ANY circumstances should he tell either the girl or the wife.

I also agree about the rule with friends. If I had a close long time friend that was getting cheated on I would definitely tell him. Hell, I've have 2 acquaintances I hang out with sometimes that I've known for a couple of years ask me if their girls have cheated on them. I am 100% sure they do since I see them at the club I promote continuously coming in and out with guys. I simply told them that I didn't know.
It is not my job to put them on blast. Now, if they were close friends, I would definitely tell them.

If I was Bacon I would stop doing that even if I feel it is the right the to do. Whether you are wrong or right, one day you might tell on the wrong person, and many variables can go wrong at that point.

[C230K]

All in all, this could have been avoided if you keep quiet, EVENTUALLY the truth will show

[quickdodge®]

You can be devoted to someone and make a mistake. Let's say you've been married 10-15 years and you're 100% in love with your wife and want to be with her forever, but in a moment of weakness you cheat with someone else. You immediately realize it was a mistake and know that you will never do it again. It had nothing to do with your emotional attachment to your wife, it was strictly physical.

Still wrong and still cheating. In a marriage, there is no such thing as "mistake sex." When you have sex with someone outside of the marriage, you put yourself in that position. When you're trustworthy and 100% loyal, you don't make that kind of mistake. Period.

also, it's up to the individual how important monogamy is to their relationship. Not everyone thinks of sex as this soul binding bond between two people who were meant to spend their lives together.

You're right and if they don't mind that lifestyle, then they won't mind being told and they'll let you know that that's the type of relationship they have.

I'm not sure what you mean...... sex can certainly happen on an impulse decision, its not always a premeditated act of "unfaithfulness".

You're right here, as well. BUT, you put yourself in that position and you have a weak mind, then you make a mistake that you shouldn't have. It's all about putting yourself in that position.

I feel like i'm on punked or something.... like you people are intentionally messing with me. There's no way my stance on this is THIS different from everyone else. I dont feel this out of touch in church.

You have your thoughts on this. Everyone thinks differently on topics. And again, please don't take this as insult to you or your intelligence as I'm certainly not out to do that, but it's hard for me to see your reasoning because your not married and, if I remember correctly, never have been. You're not much into long relationships so your views will be different.

Just to add, I don't mind the conversation with you, regardless, dude.

True story

Not quite. You're completely wrong from the get go so your post is moot, lolol.

The other guy trusted him showing him the pics.....

but I know for a fact me and others would lose respect for the guy who told the girl ...

Your post is kind of moot, too. How can you use the words "trust" and "respect" in a positive way towards a cheater? My guess is you're not married, either. Later, QD.

[Subleg4]

If my wife were cheating on me, I would want to know, plain and simple. I don't care how, who, what, that I found out from, I would just want too know. That's fucked up and you don't do that to your spouse PERIOD end of discussion.

[Sinfix_15]

Still wrong and still cheating. In a marriage, there is no such thing as "mistake sex." When you have sex with someone outside of the marriage, you put yourself in that position. When you're trustworthy and 100% loyal, you don't make that kind of mistake. Period.



You're right and if they don't mind that lifestyle, then they won't mind being told and they'll let you know that that's the type of relationship they have.



You're right here, as well. BUT, you put yourself in that position and you have a weak mind, then you make a mistake that you shouldn't have. It's all about putting yourself in that position.



You have your thoughts on this. Everyone thinks differently on topics. And again, please don't take this as insult to you or your intelligence as I'm certainly not out to do that, but it's hard for me to see your reasoning because your not married and, if I remember correctly, never have been. You're not much into long relationships so your views will be different.

Just to add, I don't mind the conversation with you, regardless, dude.



Not quite. You're completely wrong from the get go so your post is moot, lolol.




Your post is kind of moot, too. How can you use the words "trust" and "respect" in a positive way towards a cheater? My guess is you're not married, either. Later, QD.

I feel like i've been married before, I had a live in GF for 5ish years

[Catnip]

I'm not sure what you mean...... sex can certainly happen on an impulse decision, its not always a premeditated act of "unfaithfulness".

I've never accidentally had sex.

I've regretted it, but it wasn't on accident. I'm always down to have sex, but unless it's with my woman there's no issue keeping it in my pants... I'm just not down with fucking someone over, especially someone that means something to me and/or someone I've made a commitment to.


If all parties know, and no one is being done wrong... do what you do.

[Bacon]

Where I come from, sharing private things like pics of this nature is out of line, inappropriate, and out right disrespectful to not only you but all individuals involved.

Where I come from, you have a right to know if things are being said about you and/or your pictures are spread around.

Where I come from, women are not toys to share between your buddies.

Excuse me for being raised a responsible man.