Need some insight on something

[quickdodge®]

The wife has absolutely no clue about any of this but given the chance to have her in front of me, she would know in a heartbeat.

The entire conversation extends only between me, the lady friend of mine in question, and my coworkers.

While what I said stands, it seems the entire information wasn't given clearly. I thought you, Bacon, told the dude's wife (of which I would be 100% behind you on).

You CAN be devoted to someone and make a MISTAKE. There IS such thing as mistakes. Been there, done that. Immediately realizing what you did was wrong, and then never letting it happen again.

I'm not sure what you mean by making "mistakes," but if it is anything non-platonic, then you could call it what you want, but it still translates to idiocy. You don't mistakenly kiss someone or have sex with someone. That's just complete and udder disrespect to your wife, your children (if you have any) and to a marriage. Doing that and blaming it on your feelings or caught up in the moment or just a mistake is nothing more than a cop out and it was only a mistake because you were caught.

She does know he is married but is he at fault or is she?

Both of them are at fault. It takes two to tango and if she knew he was in a relationship and he wanted to become a cheater, then she had every opportunity to say no. Later, QD.

[Bacon]

I haven't told the wife but given the chance.....

Doesn't really matter who was told. The act is the issue.

[00CelicaGT]

I feel like it wouldn't be my place to say anything to the wife. The co-worker would be different if she's a true friend and not a complete slut that sleeps around the company or circle of friends. Some women enjoy the attention they receive weather it be positive or negative and those are the ones I consider damaged goods. I dnt support cheating and have never done so, I do have friends that have done it and I didn't say anything cuz it was not my place. I would tell them dnt bring the girls around me cuz if they ever got suspicious and ask I wouldn't lie to them, but I wouldn't go out of my way to tell them either.
I look at it this way, if u are stupid enough to cheat u are stupid enough to get caught. If I were to ever give into temptation and cheat u better believe I'm not telling bacon lmao j/k!!!!

[Julio]

What you do alone... You will more then likely pay it for it alone...

[BanginJimmy]

If you are friends with the wife you are in the right. If the wife asked you if something was up, even vaguely, you are right. To bring it up to someone you barely know is shady.


I would want someone to tell me my wife is cheating, I dont care who it is.

[quickdodge®]

I would want someone to tell me my wife is cheating, I dont care who it is.

See?!?!!? True words from a married man. This is what I mean. The people that are married have a lot different incite into these types of issues than people who aren't or never have been. Later, QD.

[Sinfix_15]

I would not want a stranger to tell me my wife was cheating. If someone approached me that i wasnt usually on "intimate" speaking terms with and said "hey, i have something i need to tell you about your wife", id probably cut them off right there and tell them it was none of their business and to walk away. I wouldnt question my wife about the accusation of a stranger anyways. If you trust your wife, you trust your wife. If you dont, you dont. With that said, i wouldnt give anything said the time of day unless it was a friend delivering the information. A stranger, i wouldnt even give the chance to speak.

I've been falsely accused of cheating before or had something small turned into a cheating story by someone. Sometimes people are just out to cause problems. Some people think talking to or sitting with another girl is cheating as report it that way. It's up to you and your gf to decide what is acceptable. Your wife/gf may not give a shit that you dance with a girl at a party or talk to another girl, eat lunch with them or anything nonsexual, yet someone else may view that as cheating and want to tell on you. Well, since nobody but me and the person im in a relationship with know our own boundaries, whoever else is watching should mind their own business. You cant go wrong with minding your business....... lots of ways to go potentially wrong when you go around like a relationship crime fighter trying to expose all the evil villains of the world who are using their penis' with reckless abandon.

[Dylan]

Personally imo, I would say mind your own business. If it doesn't affect you personally than you have no place to chime in. I say that coming out of a two year relationship that was ruined by little shit like that (not on my behalf). Just getting out of that relationship I DO NOT want that commitment again for a while. The girl I'm with now has a boyfriend and os well aware of what she and I do. He lives several hours away and that's somethings they're open to. Who is to say that said cheater that was originally posted about is actually cheating. It could just be another partner that he has strictly for that purpose and his wife knows about it. That lifestyle is quire common, however, it's looked down upon by many. That could be why he makes it seem more casual to people since a lot wouldn't understand. Whatever it may be it's his life and let him do it.

[Catnip]

Personally imo, I would say mind your own business. If it doesn't affect you personally than you have no place to chime in. I say that coming out of a two year relationship that was ruined by little shit like that (not on my behalf). Just getting out of that relationship I DO NOT want that commitment again for a while. The girl I'm with now has a boyfriend and os well aware of what she and I do. He lives several hours away and that's somethings they're open to. Who is to say that said cheater that was originally posted about is actually cheating. It could just be another partner that he has strictly for that purpose and his wife knows about it. That lifestyle is quire common, however, it's looked down upon by many. That could be why he makes it seem more casual to people since a lot wouldn't understand. Whatever it may be it's his life and let him do it.

In that case...

"hey, your wife is cheating"

"oh, I know... mind your business?"

See how horrible that would be if it was known, rather then someone unknowingly getting fucked over?

[quickdodge®]

If it doesn't affect you personally than you have no place to chime in.

Sure you do. Would you want to go through a relationship where the other was cheating and you had a chance to know about it but didn't because the one that knew just "minded their business?" Not me.

I say that coming out of a two year relationship that was ruined by little shit like that (not on my behalf).

Again, I say, try that with a marriage. Where the stakes are a lot higher. Boyfriend/girlfriend relationships are not like marriages. There is a lot more involved. Add children in the mix and there is an even higher plane. I also find it kind of weird to believe that you'd rather carry on a relationship with a girl that's cheating on you than to have some "little shit" save you a lot of wasted time. I'd damn near be wanting to go out with that dude just to thank him.

The girl I'm with now has a boyfriend and os well aware of what she and I do. He lives several hours away and that's somethings they're open to. Who is to say that said cheater that was originally posted about is actually cheating. It could just be another partner that he has strictly for that purpose and his wife knows about it. That lifestyle is quire common, however, it's looked down upon by many.

You're right, but better safe than sorry. If I'm telling someone his/her other is cheating, I'd rather be told that theirs is an open relationship than to not say anything at all and it be a traditional one.

Again, and I can't stress on this, marriage is a whole different ballgame. Believe me, I know. Later, QD.

[Dylan]

QD, I understand where you're coming from with the part of being married. That is a number one symbol of commitment to most. There are a lot of other people that don't value it as well as others, that's when I can congratulate you with having your marriage last 13 years. That's very impressive these days. I think too many people get married at too early of an age. I've learned both people have to be completely committed fir things to work. If I were in the case in which Bacon posted about, I would personally like to know but, I would feel I would find our in time. I just believe strongly in staying out of other peoples' drama, life is simply easier that way.

[quickdodge®]

I just believe strongly in staying out of other peoples' drama, life is simply easier that way.

I agree with staying out of lives for drama-free's sake. And I wouldn't just go spread gossip if I didn't have any trustworthy info. Or if I didn't know either party, but I knew either of the two in the relationship and I had viable info, I'd be squealing like a pig!

And thanks on the congrats. Later, QD.

[Bacon]

It wouldn't have hurt to stay out of the current drama. However, it was brought up to me out of the blue and completely without me asking. It becomes my business at that point. I personally would want to know if highly personal and private things about me were spread about as well as being cheated on.

[Dylan]

It wouldn't have hurt to stay out of the current drama. However, it was brought up to me out of the blue and completely without me asking. It becomes my business at that point. I personally would want to know if highly personal and private things about me were spread about as well as being cheated on.

As most people have this same perspective. I just hate being known as the "snitch". It automatically puts you in a situation that causes hard feelings toward you from another. I especially wouldn't want that from a fellow co-worker. I don't know your exact situation though, you could have been the bearer of great words to someone for all I know.

[teh bri]

It all boils down to this... the man is a complete idiot for going around bragging that he's banging someone other than his wife. Cheating isn't something a person should brag about. He's probably also chicken shit to tell his wife because she'll probably castrate his ass. Just speaking in my opinion. I've been cheated on and the man still has yet to man up to it. Causes fighting and arguments. And disrespects the person getting hurt in the end. Makes that person find it Very hard to trust someone again. Or better yet, forgive and trust the person who cheated.

[tnomud]

If you can't be honest to the ONE person on this planet that you CLAIM you love and respect the most, then what light does that shed on your to your circle. Personally, I try to keep my nose out of it to a point. But, dont expect me to automatically keep my mouth shut and be a liar, to cover ones infidelity. Not saying something over and over again is the same as lying. Honesty can be brutal sometimes, but always respected in the end.