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Relationship problems, could use some advice
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Last edited by Sixth_Vang; 12-27-2010 at 11:01 AM.
- Shouldn't marry someone who you cant trust or can be upfront with
- 2 years is too short to get married, especially living apart. Granted in some cases it does work, but the statistics are against you.
- why are you still with her? IMO you are being lame by allowing her to trick off and are giving her minimal punishment, let alone not leaving her.
- Move on dude, life is too short for you to be waiting around for her to act right. Marriage doesn't correct anything. Hope this helps
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Last edited by Sixth_Vang; 12-27-2010 at 11:01 AM.
In Honesty she is trying to have her cake and eat it too.... Women are better liars than we are but have the same ethics as we do when lying, which is (TAKE THE LY TO THE GRAVE UNLESS HARD EVIDENCE IS RIGH INFRONT THAT HE OR SHE CANT DENY) Then you make ur decision as if you want to be with her or not.
Nitrous 3Valve Mustang GT
You haven't seen your fiance in a year is a issue all to its self. Sounds like first thing is you don't have time and location for each other for a relationship. Also im almost positive she is seeking someone else and trying to see if the grass is greener on the other side. If you can't both be together in the same area or house and work and come home to be with each other then its not gonna work out. The biggest thing of all is when she says she wants to wait for school to be over translates into "I will meet a lot of guys and do things at frat parties" if she isn't tied down then she has nothing to feel guilty about when she does it. I have noticed along with many other studies that this is the age and decade of cheating and lust.
Men and women alike will cheat more and more these days and divorces are on the rise more than ever. People are marring younger and having kids just to end up being divorced before they are 25. Swinger parties and bi relationships are also on the rise due to lovers not wanting to just be with one person at a time but a few as long as its mutual. College is like it always is "Party Central" Kids only wanna go to school for fun and end up dropping out due to low grades or felling semesters from lack of studies from parting.
To sum it all up i say she is not trust worthy and is hoping you make a move first to end it. Id find a girl who has the time and is willing to relocate with out for not only work but for loves sake.
don't let love fuck you over. she might just want two cookies at one time.
when and if you decide to leave her is based on how strong youre affection for her is.
But for sure though, if she is really in-love with you, when you do leave her, make sure you find someone else quick, because if she gets jealous and comes back that means she actually wants you.
well atleast thats imo
and.. how should you approach her?
Hm.. can't really answer that.. i just know it'll be an awkward situation when you see her for the first time in over a year.
or maybe you could just try and make it a happy situation, spend the time with her like it's your last. but then again it might make it seem like youre too clingy.
idk maybe she might like it.
*edit. forgot to mention, sometimes its not okay to bring up the situation too early in the visit, it'll just ruin her trip and yall will face problems while her stay. but it all depends on how you present the problem and how she approaches it
but who cares, who listens to kids right?
Last edited by wanggsticky; 11-17-2010 at 02:20 PM.
Guys marry when the time is right. Girls marry when the guy is right. Obviously your busy with school/work which is a good thing, and she just isn't respecting for who you are. Move on.
:idb:
Move on, plain and simple. Like others have said, she's trying to have her cake and eat it too. I was with my ex for almost 7 years and she started acting like that after about 5 years, only difference was she wasn't in school and we weren't long distance. It's going to suck for awhile after calling it quits if your feelings are that strong for her, but I have learned that you will be WAY happier in the long run without having to deal with that BS. If/when you decide to do it, make it a clean break, don't keep calling/texting each other. You may want to talk to her, she may try to talk to you, but if you're serious about it being over that's only going to make it a more drawn out process. There's too many other women out there to get yourself stuck with someone who doesn't respect you, you'll just end up miserable and divorced.
This is 100% correct.Originally Posted by velomack
I strongly suggest that you find someone closer to you, that you trust more. I also suggest that it is just as easy to fall in love with a rich girl who can support you in the lifestyle that you would like to become accustomed to, as a poor one that you will have to support.
Set your standards high, and never compromise them. She needs to be everything you ever dreamed of, and then some.
"Racing is life. Anything before or after is just waiting." - Steve McQueen
You're 23 and you've been in a four year relationship with a girl you haevn't lived near for half of. Dude, life may be short but not THAT short, I'm only 24 and I dated a girl for four years but she practically lived w/me and me moving to GA ended it cause long distance while she was in school wouldn't work to much fighting. Don't sweat it, we're way to young to get caught up in that bs drama. And if there is drama now and no trust now, the whole relationship is drama.
Of course I own this.
IT PUTS THE OREOS ON THE RIM
THIS
THIS
THIS
THIS
THIS
Leave her, Its not worth it man...
It might be hard, with all the feelings you have and such.. but SERIOUSLY dont do it man... LEAVE her.. and move on with YOUR life.. FOR YOU.. If someone comes along.. Then sure.. take it, and be more INTO the relationship, and make sure SHE is also...
This shit goes on EVERY day.. WOMEN LIE, MEN LIE... It takes along time to find one that actually is Loyal...
Like everyone else said... Leave her. You are the back-up plan if the other guys don't work out.
Since she's coming, I suggest at least hitting it once last time, and as soon as you finish (her needs are not important) tell it's over and show her the evidence. That's how I would do it.
just what i was thinking hit it one last time but use a condom so you make no babies. Then after sex while laying in bed say you wanna just be friends LOL
This is what I would do while shes here...
Spend time w/her be nice but just be straight up.
Don't start drama because what the hell does it solve? It does give us shit to do at work if you post it on IA though...
Tell her you're just tired of the lies and you can't handle it you know the truth don't argue about it just show her the proof and be like I can't trust you I can't be with you.
Of course I own this.
IT PUTS THE OREOS ON THE RIM
Correct.. you got to man..
If you just break up.. and boot her out.. you will WISH you atleast FUCKED HER GOT DAMN BRAINS OUT before so.. FUCK HER HARD LIKE THE DIRTY LIL SKANK SHE IS!!
O gawd... hmm.... I love it...
put it in her butt, then tell her you know everything and its time for her to go.
It appears you know what you need to do. Just remember that she WILL cry to try to get you to change your mind, so stand your ground when you kick her to the curb.
UGA: Everybody is laughing at us this year.
^ yup
You sir are a little pathetic bitch. I don't mean to come offensive, but you just are. She goes to parties, she lies to you, she talks to other guys, she goes to bars without you, lolol wtf dont you see? say bye bye to that nice girl of yours.
I'll handle it and keep you guys posted.
Last edited by Sixth_Vang; 12-27-2010 at 11:02 AM.
i mean when your in love or what u think is love its harder to see whats actually there
During my time in Georgia busting my ass @ two jobs, currently under contract for a home, and full time school. During those two years i've caught her tricking around twice. Just small things like her talking to other guys, which isn't a big deal, but she denies it constantly when I have hard evidence. It just makes it all the more shady, you know?
^^ shes been messin around fuck that shit once a cheater always a cheater
hmmm... Just DO what we said.. Kick her to the curb..
but If you DO (which you should) fuck her one last GOOD time.... PLEASE video tape this skank....... Post it up bro!!
Trust me, I know what you mean. I'm with my girl 6+ years now, we are engaged after the 6 year mark, now we are planning on buying a house and moving in, I would hate to see something bad happen between us, love is hell of a drug.
Key word. Handle. Better handle that hoe bro. You can't honestly put up with that shit and think it's cool. Throw her the finger, put up the other to the right of it and be out. OR you can smash and be out. Either way, just be out homie.
...I dream of going fast...
Long distance relationships dont work. A year is a long time to expect someone to wait for you.
need pic for further advices
dude its a girl man half the population in the world has to be females ... get your nuts hanging and go find some freakin vagina there has to be another girl or two for you bro. If you go to school, have two jobs , and work for her and she still treats you like that?
LEAVE HER AND FUCK HER FRIENDS
LMFAO Um why wouldn't you of dumped the hoe at the first issue you caught her with? She won't change, she doesn't want you, leave her, move on, the end. It shouldn't take a website primarily made up of fat virgins to inform you on relationship how to.
LOL... How did your last one work out?
I thought so...
My last relationship? She was a hoe and got dumped...lol. Simple as that. It's not the kids fault for giving his heart to a hoe, but there is no point in continuing hurting yourself for something that won't change.
Give her an ultimatum, basically saying she needs to accept and admit the mistakes she's made, or you will leave her. Why:
1) If she is lying to you about hanging out with other guys, whether romantically or not, it proves she would lie to you about insignificant things, and thus would definitely lie about important things like cheating on you, also you don't want to be with someone who can't admit their own faults and behavior, thats just childish shit right there
2) go with your gut instinct, it will steer you in the right direction, which in this case seems away from her
3) I know breaking up is hard, but only usually because we've become accustomed to being a couple for so long, being single again is literally scary, but its not scary, and yes you can and will find someone better....there is realistically no such thing as the "only one", life is full of potential partners that are suitable for our personalities.
4)
I continue to hurt myself waiting for you... But you never seem to notice.
Ultimatums are for the weak. You cant talk a girl into not cheating on you. If you feel you need to give her an ultimatum, you already know what needs to be done.
yeah at that point its pretty much a lost cause and time to move on lol
This is my advice from a female's point of view regarding your relationship with your fiancee.
- Long distance relationships don't usually work out. There is a reason for this, because it is much easier to step out while still being in the relationship. It gives the person with the wandering eye much more freedom to roam around. This is exactly what she's doing when she is going out with guys to the bar or out for coffee. It makes it extremely easier to cheat when there are no eyes watching what she is up to. So if she is going out with men, then yes she could be cheating. We all wish that everyone is good, and that no one cheats yet it's tough to know who does or who doesn't. You just have to trust the other person and that leads us to the second topic...
- There are already trust issues. A relationship with trust issues should never continue. This only puts more stress on you, and on her. If she is withholding any sort of information small or large then there is a trust issue (same goes for you). So now you are constantly wondering where she is, what she is doing, whom she is talking with...Thus it causes her to feel trapped and making you seem needy or bothersome.
- However, what type of evidence do you have of her doing this? If she is denying this, and you don't have solid evidence like seeing it for your own eyes or texts/pictures of her out with these men. Then, you have nothing, and it very well may be nothing. If the evidence isn't solid enough this could just add more drama into an already rocky relationship. So make sure you have everything correctly explaining the situation in front of you. Something she can't deny.
- A relationship should allow both of you to feel free. Yes, even if you're married I believe the right relationship will not make you feel like you are being bogged down by the other person or the relationship itself. So this being the case, it's telling me that this relationship is wrong.
- When she comes into town I agree not to bring it up as soon as she gets there. Time it well and bring it up before she leaves. Take time to sit down somewhere quiet and think of what you want to tell her. Whatever you do don't do this somewhere crowded nor in the car where it can lead to something unsafe. Tell her how you feel, and make sure you don't put all of the blame onto her or she will more than likely go into defensive mode. This won't help and could cause an argument which will not get to the root of the matter. Try to use sentences like... "I feel that _______and would like to know if this is true. I won't be upset if you tell me _______." Just avoid using the word "you", which can seem accusatory. Keep your voice as calm as possible, and listen to what she has to say. Pay attention to her body language, sometimes this can also spell if she is lying to you or not.
- Don't hit it one last time. Sure it may be tempting and maybe she'll want it too, but it will make breaking up all the much tougher on both of you. A clean break is the best one. Sure you both may hurt, but it's temporary until you both can move on.
- Also don't just go after the next thing with 2 legs that you see. A relationship soon after a break up usually spells disaster, you may still be hurting or reminiscing about the times you had with her. You'll be constantly comparing the new person you are with to the old. One thing that has helped me is to type out or write down everything about the relationship that you can think of, and then once you are done put it away. It can help symbolize you putting the relationship behind you. Everyone needs time to heal, and learn from the past relationship and take the positives you have learned into the next one.
It's really late so I may not have covered everything, yet hopefully you'll be able to decide what to do. You're working hard, going to school, and trying to get a house to build your future with her. It tells me that you're a responsible person, and I respect that. With that information I know you'll find someone that you deserve, that will always be there for you and love you.Don't settle for less my friend!
easiest way to get over someone is to meet someone new du eeet...but it would be funny to hit it one last time, bust on her face and say "gotcha bitch" and dip out rofl I am fucked up I know...
I'm just gonna say that you seem really devoted. But women need tons of attention and there is no way your circumstances are going to allow that. You live a thousand miles away from each other and you are busy all the time with work/work/and school. I don't know you guys at all but you could just be victims of circumstance. Confront her with the info you have and if she says she was just lonely and wanted some companionship (granted it might be true).... you guys could make it. But if she says she's been raw-dawging randoms kick her to the curb.
Sorry... I typed this on my phone. But that's just what I would do.
My girl is about to start going to uga in Athens in a month or so. Hoefilly that wont be too long distance for us to handle. We've been together for q little over 2 years.
Looks like you're defending the trick. Later, QD.
FOR MORE INFO, CLICK THE PIC!!!
Good luck...UGA and Athens is a rough place to have a decent relationship. lol
Thanks, man. Ill be sure to keep my pimp glove handy in case I need to slap a hoe.
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