Some more from another forum im on:
-Chuck Norris' Penis is what inpires gay models today.

-Chuck Norris is in the Guinness Book of World Records for getting the most blow jobs in one day. 756.

-Much like the biblical legend Samson, Chuck Norris's beard is the source of his power. Shave it off, and he becomes merely a mortal who could still kick your ass.

-CNN was originally the "Chuck Norris Network" but was later changed to a news station because the awesomeness of a Chuck Norris network kept blowing up satellites, TVs, and viewers' eyeballs.

-Jack Daniels is actualy Chuck Norris' piss bottled in Tennessee.

-The movie Rambo: First Blood was inspired by Chuck Norris' experience as a boy scout.

-Chuck Norris is the only one ever in history to stare Medusa straight in the eyes and not be turned to stone.

-Chuck Norris won the brick yard four hundred without a car.

-Chuck Norris once ate three 72 oz. steaks in one hour. He spent the first 45 minutes having sex with his waitress.

-Chuck Norris smokes TNT.

-Chuck Norris is the other white meat.

-If you rub Chuck Norris' beard it will grant you three wishes, only the third wish always involves you having butt sex with Norris.

-Chuck Norris once killed a man, bought him back to life, and then killed him again. When asked why he said, "Did you see the look on his face the second time around? Priceless."

-Chuck Norris is so smart, Steven Hawking stood up to bow down to him.

-When Chuck Norris farts it sounds like small children crying.

-Chuck Norris managed to storm the beaches of Normandy in 1944, armed with only a potato peeler, and single handedly disemboweled over 5,000 German Nazi Soldiers.


3 days after Chuck Norris took a dump in the woods, a hiker had his leg blown off by a "land mine."

Naysayers, Chuck is the man, he has more hair on his teeth than you will ever have on your pubes.

Chuck Norris bends steel with his mind.

Instead of seeking immediate medical attention, Chuck Norris recently roundhoused his own dick after a sustained four hour erection.

Some scientists still refer to supernovas as "The Chuck Norris Effect". These scientists also think that comets are Chuck's sperm.


The seamen from Chuck Norris gives off three times the radiation of a uranium core the length of a football field.


Chuck Norris' semen is what makes Special K so special.

Everytime Chuck Norris masturbates, 1,000 somalians scream.

Chuck Norris NEVER loses at the game "Operation".


Starting in May of 2006, there will be four sizes of popcorn at AMC movie theaters: "Small", "Medium", "Large", and "Chuck Norris' Balls".


When Neil Armstrong uttered "One small step for man, one giant leap for mankind." on the moon in 1969, he failed to notice Chuck Norris sitting behind him in a lawnchair, a beer in hand, until Chuck Norris gave Armstrong a swift roundhouse kick to the face. Armstrong never returned

Chuck Norris is the real father of Britney's baby, despite the fact that he's had 13 vasectomies. Chaoticians around the world cite the reason for this as being, "Life finds a way."

Chuck Norris invented the remote control.

Chuck Norris shits barbed wire and shards of broken glass.

There was in fact no Hiroshima. Chuck Norris was 5 years old and learned how to hock a loogie. The resulting impact of his mucus was disaterous.

Contrary to popular belief, Chuck Norris was dropped at Hiroshima and Nagasaki.

Chuck Norris plays hockey just to fight.

When asked, "Do you know the muffin man?"
Chuck Norris replies, "The Muffin Man?" Then eats the face of whoever is asking.

They use Chuck Norris's foreskin as a tarp when it rains at Yankee stadium.