Before the boogey man goes to bed, he checks the closet for Chuck Norris.

When Chuck Norris does push ups, he doesn't push himself up, he pushes the earth down.

Chuck Norris' tears can cure cancer, too bad Chuck Norris never cries.

Chuck Norris has counted to infinity...twice.

If Chuck Norris is late, time is better slow the fuck down.

Chuck Norris can divide by zero.