I get killed by rice, oh my.(Wall warning)
Well, a few friends decided it was high time for me to go to the club for the first time. I'm not much of a dancer so I don't club but after some sexy asian girl persuasion, I concede. Besides I wanted to test out my new HID retro fit with the projectors. Sidenote on that, they were awesome.
Anyways, friends meet me at my house and we roll out in my car since my friend says his truck isn't "going to the club worthy". Driving, nothing eventful happening. Jamming to music as my friends comment on my complete lack of "jerking songs". If you follow stupid Cali dance trends, you'll know what that is. For us regular folk, here's some teaching.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uj6RmUF-ZEI
I blame you California. What do you put into the water over there? It's even sadder that it's one of the few dances I can do well. So I'm hip...for now.
Anyways, we get off the 101 and onto thomas rd. People at this time of night drive like bats out of hell. My friends comment on the lack of cops and I comment on the fact that I'm hungry and need to get laid. They laugh but I keep serious and reply with a flat "I wasn't kidding". Then I laugh to ease the awkwardness. Sidenote, said asian chick looked interested.
Anyways, driving and Flipping through music to bump to when a early 90s white civic with huge wing, ugly rims, and fart can I could fit my head into pulls up and revs the piss out of his car. I laugh and let the hammer down in forth. I pull away without any trouble. Too bad the rice kill only makes me hungrier. I think that's the end of that when I see a tv screen ahead. First thing that comes to my mind is "oooo, I wanna see a movie!"
So I speed up to the car to notice it's a riced out blue civic with lots of metallic flack in the paint. I mean a lot. I thought he had bought stars and trapped them in the paint of his car or something. But either way, he had a huge screen in his back seat. Pulled up and it was a T.I. music video. My friends and I were slightly crushed.
Well, mr. white civic pulls up next to the blue and then takes off. Blue follows and so do I. Traffic is medium thickness and they're weaving in and out like idiots. I show my superiority and just rev and flash the highbeams to get people out of the way. Most do and a few even give me the "Go get those fuckers" look and a thumbs up. With a new found, possibly god given mission, I give chase and catch up, all with never taking it out of forth. God those cars are slow.
Anyways, my friends by now are acting wild and laughing because they think the cars are driving away from me because they're afraid I'm chasing them. I quickly remind everyone that they better be high or they're all idiots. They don't understand the seriousness of this mission.
Anyways, blue civic sees me coming and quickly cuts lanes into the turning lane. Well, one down? I pull up to white civic and rev. He doesn't rev back. Well, guess he's done and mission complete. I continue my happy way to the club and get caught behind a big Suburban as I'm only one block away from my destination. Next thing I know the civic pulls up next to me and then races away.
Wow, is the only word that comes from everyone in the car. Also I could've sworn "hella' ***" was also said. I pull into the parking lot of the club, slightly defeated...not.
Anyways, I go to park in the parking lot when I see a lot of negros staring at my car and giving it and me the eye. My friends quickly tell me that I better park in the CVS parking lot or my shit is going to get jacked. Well, I go to park over there and then take out my fuel pump relay from under my seat. Let's see them take my shit now.
Cliffs: Civic traps me behind Suburban and then takes off leaving me in the dust and still hungry and unlaid. 318i flies by in chase to avenge my death.
Club story:
Well, go to the club and stand around for a bit. Didn't do much dancing. Just watched my asian friend grind up on some random wierd ass black guy who kept wiping sweat off girls he danced with. And I do believe he didn't use a different napkin each time. Gross. But either way, the only thing I could think of is damn, I wish she'd work me like that and I wish I could dance. Well after watching this and just getting more pissed off I finally tell the guy to go somewhere because she was giving me one of those "help me" faces because he was trying to take her and my friend's sister to "The corner". He backs off immediately and don't see him the rest of the time in the club.
Well, all of a sudden I hear profanities galore come from the stage as the DJ gets a booty bouncing contest going. Wooo, this will be great. I looked with great interest until I started seeing some cows get up there and a few males. Wow....***. Some of the latina girls that went up were fine though. I got worked by my asian friend for a little and I was in heaven. But I got odd looks from some of the black girls. >.> Anyways, after that crazy event was a lapdance contest that made me very envious of the lucky guys who were chosen. My asian friend went up where but was quickly kicked off because she wasn't working it hard enough. We left after this because I was ready to jump on stage and kick his ass. The way he told her was completely inappropriate.
Anyways, meet my asian friends stalker outside so my other friends wait with ehr as I go to pull the car around. I pop the relay into my car and turn the key. I don't hear my fuel pump. Shiiiit. Pull the relay connection and notice a wire missing. So I'm searching for said wire as a mexican pulls up. I ask for a flashlight but he has none. Doesn't look like he understands much english and sadly I'm part mexican also but doesn't know much spanish. Anyways, he tells me to pop the hood as he pulls out the jumper cables.
I try to tell him that won't work but he doesn't understand so I sigh and pop the hood. After some more digging I finally find the wire and the car starts! Woo, I'm out of here and at good timing since there was a group of negro's starting to come my way. Anyways, I thank the guy and then he asks "Do you have any cocaine". There's a long pause as I try to process what he just asked. I close my hood and back slowly to my door. I tell him I don't but the uniformed guy in front of the club may have some. He smiles and says thanks and I look into his eyes for the first time. He's higher than a kite right now. I pull away and my friends laugh as I tell them the story. Then laugh even harder when they see the guy go up to the "uniformed guy". Said guy was a Maricopa county sheriff. I'm an asshole, I know.
Luckily said guy was smart enough to notice and just left and so did I, vowing not to go to another club again. And it's not like I have much of a choice since my mother took my car keys for coming in late. And my phone. O.o I have half a mind to snatch them back since I paid for both WITH MY OWN MONEY, but I'd rather not make things worse....I really need to find my own place. 18 and still gets things he paid for taken by his mother. I rule.
Cliffs: I hate the club because I can't dance and for those that dont' know, this story contains no racism. I am black and mexican. Also, I get pwned by mother when I get home.
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Originally Posted by NEMO
