THIS IS THE REASON WHY I DON'T LIKE PEOPLE FROM EARTH...
I'll make this as short as possible.
*For the duration of this conversation items wrapped in < > is what I am THINKING, and items wrapped in " " is what I actually say.
Let's begin:
We (AT&T) are doing some upgrades tonight. I figure what the hell - I'll roll up to IHOP and work from there since I work remotely. So I get here (still here actually) and get comfy. When I walk in - there is a weirdo sitting there - being ex-military I do a quick snapshot of my surroundings, and make sure I have an eyeline to the door. Then it starts. Some guy from Earth walks up.
* 1st of all, he is standing RIGHT beside me and I am sitting - I feel very vunerable and uncomfortable - so I hope this is a quick inquiry. I'm not homophobic but when I look to my right and am eye-level w/ cock in some tight ass stone-washed jeans it's not how I wanna start my morning.
GUY: Hey man. Sorry to bother you.
BABYJ: <you don't look too fuckin' sorry... actually u do, but carry on> "What's up?"
GUY: I bet that thing has some megabytes.
BABYJ: <WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT??> "Ummmm... yeah, it has a few."
* at this point I look in his eyes and tell that not only is no1 is fuckin' home, but no1 has been home for a LONG ass time. I know that I am royally fucked. I settle in for the ride *
GUY: Yeah - when I was younger I was really smart with computers.
BABYJ: <yeah, I bet dipshit> "That's kool man."
GUY: What are you working on? Art? Music? Videos?
BABYJ: <I'm working on getting the FUCK away from you actually> "Just a few things."
* at this point I reach for my cell which is in the car - so I can't pretend to be on the phone - FAWK!! *
GUY: It's okay if you don't want to tell me - I won't be mad. People are just like that. Can you scan-tron w/ that computer?
BABY: <WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT.2.0????> "Huh? Say what?"
GUY: Like scan-tron it. It really easy - I used to do it all when I was younger, w/ the trigonometries and the geomeTROES and the calculuses. All of the electronics.
* the waiter Jaime is looking at me from behind him mouthing to me "I'm SOOOOO sorry" and giving me the
BABYJ: <yeah I bet you don't even know what year it is do you> "That's sounds kool man."
GUY: It's much faster that way than doing it w/ a pen and paper.
BABYJ: <It'd be faster if I grabbed my heater and put a bullet in your head> "I agree."
* he then sits across from me at my booth *
GUY: I wish more people were more normal like that - and try to get smarter and advance to be smarter. It was easy for me when I was a kid. Every1 was smarter than they are now. How was it when you were a kid?
BABYJ: <If you don't get your ass away from MY fucking booth I'm gonna put my foot up your ass> "They were smarter when I was a kid too."
GUY: I hate Jamaicans.
BABYJ: <Here we go - this isn't gonna end well.> "I see."
GUY: You know the difference between Jesus and a Jamaican??
* I don't say anything... I just look at him *
GUY: Jesus never hits below the belt.
** At this point he laughs like this is the funniest shit on Earth. His laugh is so loud that the manager comes over. She is about 4'9 and 300 lbs. Not only do I not get it STILL, but even if I did I am not in a laughing mood. **
*** The manager sees my face and they come and ask him to go back to his table in the corner. He starts asking other people for money and then 10 mins later the deputy Sheriffs show up and take him outside where he is still out there smoking sitting on his duffle bag. ***
LOL. What a fucking night -- I swear I'm a retard magnet for some reason... shit's not kool.
/rant
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Originally Posted by MR.EM1
JDMbabe
