If you guys have seen this sorry my buddy just sent it to me:

There was a cucumber, a pickle, a penis sitting around talking about how their lives sucked. The cucumber "man" says my life sucks. When i get big, fat, and juicy, they cut me up and stick me on a salad. The pickle looks at him and says you think you have it bad? When i get big, fat, and juicy, they tick me in vinegar, put spices on me, and stick me in a jar. The penis looks at hima and says you think you have it rough? When i get big, fat, and juciy they stick a rubber tarp on my head, stick me in a dark room, and bang my head against the wall until i throw up and pass out!!!!