Why isn't phonetic spelled the way it sounds?
Because it just is!

Why is the word dictionary in the dictionary?
Becuase it is a word!

Why is the time of day with the slowest traffic called rush hour?
Becuase people are rushing to get home to answer questiosn like theys!

Why is the man who invests all your money called a broker?
Becuase you become broke when they invest your money!

Why is lemon juice made with artificial flavor?
Becuase theres not enough lemons in the world to give everyone a glass of lemon water!

Why is the alphabet in that order? Is it because of that song?
Becuase A is the most common letter and Z being ht eleasy common!

Why is it that night falls but day breaks?
Becuase the moon moves downward and the sun moves upward!

If you're born again, do you have two bellybuttons?
Your dead!

If you throw a cat out a car window, does it become kitty litter?
A smaller vet bill!

If you jog backwards, will you gain weight?
No trip!

If you saw a heat wave, would you wave back?
No collaspe!

If you take an Oriental person and spin him around , is he
disoriented?
No just a 360 degree Oriental peson!

If the ..2 pencil is the most popular, why is it still ..2?
Yes thats why its been aroun dlonger!

If space is a vacuum, who changes the bags?
The people on the other side!

After they make Styrofoam, what do they ship it in?
Boxes!

Since Americans throw rice at weddings, do Asians throw hamburgers?
No they throw even more rice becuase they have already killed all the birds over there! No worries there!

What do people in China call their good plates?
Americans!

What do you say if you're talking to God, and he sneezes?
Thank You?

What happens if you get scared half to death, ...twice?
You have a quater life to live!

What do Roman paramedics refer to IV's as
4's?

Do people in Australia call the rest of the world 'up over'?
No......"Up Over .... Mate!

Are there any unguided missiles?
Bunker Busters, Tom-a-Hawks, Nukes, Free Falls...

Can fat people go skinny-dipping?
God No!

What hair color do they put on the driver's license of a bald man?
White, black, Asian...pends on his skin color!

Do fish get thirsty?
No jsut wet!

Was the pole vault accidentally discovered by a clumsy javelin thrower?
By Newton.....come on His second Law!

Do you need a silencer if you are going to shoot a mime?
No a baseball bat works!

When they first invented the clock, how did they know what time it was
Yes....sun dial!

Have you ever imagined a world with no hypothetical situations?
Nope i love this world!

Did i pass?