Why isn't phonetic spelled the way it sounds?
Because the it would make sense

Why is the word dictionary in the dictionary?
for the dumb people who don't know what a dictionary is, they can look it up...ironic isn't it.

Why is the time of day with the slowest traffic called rush hour?
cause everyone is rushing to honk the horn, cut people off, give the finger, and watch accident (rubberecking)

Why is the man who invests all your money called a broker?
cause that is what he usually makes you

Why is lemon juice made with artificial flavor?
same way you get artificial cheese

Why is the alphabet in that order? Is it because of that song?
cause this is the song that never ends

Why is it that night falls but day breaks?
cause day follows night, so it has to break its fall.

If you're born again, do you have two bellybuttons?
nope...

If you throw a cat out a car window, does it become kitty litter?
its a thousand dollar fine if its litter or not.

If you jog backwards, will you gain weight?
no, but chances are you will fall on your ass.

If you saw a heat wave, would you wave back?
I woud run. I don't like being hit on by heat.

If you take an Oriental person and spin him around , is he
disoriented?
only if they get dizzy, but them eyes can play some tricks, have you ever seen a dizzy asian oriental.

If the ..2 pencil is the most popular, why is it still ..2?
cause pencils are for losers, therefor it is the first place looser.

If space is a vacuum, who changes the bags?
The shwartz

After they make Styrofoam, what do they ship it in?
cardboard

Since Americans throw rice at weddings, do Asians throw hamburgers?
no, they throw rice too, just in pattys

What do people in China call their good plates?
chopstiks

What do you say if you're talking to God, and he sneezes?
HOW DARE YOU.

What happens if you get scared half to death, ...twice?
this is clearly a mathematical fraction party

What do Roman paramedics refer to IV's as
hanging bags

Do people in Australia call the rest of the world 'up over'?
nope, they don't know there is a rest of the world.

Are there any unguided missiles?
yes

Can fat people go skinny-dipping?
in the ocean

What hair color do they put on the driver's license of a bald man?
flesh

Do fish get thirsty?
not with all tht water

Was the pole vault accidentally discovered by a clumsy javelin thrower?
nope, a clusy gymnast that couldn't get over the pummell horse

Do you need a silencer if you are going to shoot a mime?
yeah, youe not a mime, people will hear you.

When they first invented the clock, how did they know what time it was
proof that everyone is wrong about the time

Have you ever imagined a world with no hypothetical situations?
yeah, anarchy rules.