an article in :http://www.mangosauce.com/archives/000140.html



Are Thais the world’s worst drivers?



Last month, I put my life in the hands of Bangkok’s sleepiest taxi driver. The dozy twat had to be prodded awake every 30 seconds. Fortunately, I was sitting up front and could assist him with the controls when necessary. Our journey ended dramatically on Sukhumvit Soi 12, when we hit another vehicle. As is the tradition in Thailand, we all fled the scene.

Carnage on the roads is taken for granted here. Every public holiday brings a death toll not seen in Europe since World War I. On New Year’s Eve, 4,110 road accidents left 148 people dead and 5,333 injured.

The Prime Minister blames the police and I agree with him. They could hardly make things any worse if they pulled out their pistols and took pot-shots at passing motorists. Enforcement of traffic law is practically non-existent. The risk of having to slip 200 baht to a smiling officer hardly counts as a deterrent.

Things are actually getting worse – much worse. The New Year’s Eve death toll was up 90% this year. No one has explained this shocking increase but I have a theory of my own. Before "victory" was declared in the war on drugs, ya-ba (meta-amphetamine) was the Thai driver’s drug of choice. Now that it’s a little harder to come by, I’m guessing that they brighten up those long journeys with a few chugs from the whisky bottle in the glove-box.

In Thailand, drink-driving is all but compulsory. Most cars have a sticker on the back saying "don’t drink and drive" but this doesn’t fool anyone. It’s normally set at a jaunty angle because the driver was totally inebriated when he stuck it on.

My last road-trip to Isaan was terrifying. The main highway looked like the road to Basra – where Iraqi forces were decimated as they fled Kuwait. The roadside was littered with smashed pick-up trucks and bleeding Thai people. Our own brush with death occurred when a daft old woman shot out from a side-road on her moped. To avoid killing her, we had to swerve into oncoming traffic. The 50ft skid-marks on the tarmac were only marginally shorter than the ones in my trousers.

Rightly or wrongly, Asians do have a reputation for erratic driving. In Scary Movie 3 they do a brilliant rip-off of The Ring. In it, a precocious child haunted by prophetic visions delivers this classic line: "I have a feeling that something bad is going to happen – like when I see an Asian behind the wheel of a car".

I don’t know why Thai people drive so badly. It’s all the more baffling because they have the most acute visual sense of any race on Earth. If you don’t believe me, then try this little experiment on your Thai girlfriend. Plant a foreign pubic hair in the bathroom and I guarantee that she will spot it in seconds.