Douchebag: (yelling) The fuck you talkin about I took your fuckin Ipod!??
Me:
You didn't see the fuckin cam on top of the TV!? I almost got robbed yesterday when someone was here buyin shit! I put that shit up today. I know for a FACT you took it and I got it on fucking video.
Douchbag:
Yeah I saw it on top of the TV, but I bet if you look YOU won't b/c I stole that too. You suck at poker.
<hangs up>