JESUS JOKES!!
Young David came home from school one day and found his pet chicken laying on the ground with his legs pointing straight up into the sky. When his father got home, he explained that the chicken has died and his legs were pointed up to Jesus in heaven.
They buried the chicken and that was that. Two weeks later his dad came home from work and David ran up to him yelling, “Daddy, Daddy, we nearly lost Mommy today.”
“What?” his father replied.
“When I got home from school, Mommy was laying on the bed with her legs pointing up in the air yelling, ‘Jesus, I’m coming, Jesus I’m coming.’ If it wasn’t for Uncle Terry holding her down we would have lost her for sure!”
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Why can't Jesus eat M&Ms?
Because they keep falling through the holes in his hands!
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Jesus dies and goes up to Heaven. The first thing he does is look for his father, as he has never met the man before and is curious as to what he looks like, and whether or not Jesus looks like his mother or father, etc. He looks high and low but cannot find him.
He asks St. Peter "Where is my father?" But St. Peter says he doesn't know.
He asks the archangel Gabriel "Where is my father?" But Gabriel doesn't know.
He asks John the Baptist "Where is my father?" But John does not know. So he wanders Heaven, impatiently searching.
Suddenly he sees out of the mist an old man coming toward him. The man is very old, with white hair, stooped over a little. "Stop!" Jesus yells. "Who are you?"
"Oh, please help me, I am an old man in search of my son." Jesus is very curious. Could this be his father? "Tell me of your son, old man."
"Oh, you would know him if you saw him. Holes in his hand where the nails used to be, he was nailed to a cross, you know..."
"Father!!!!!" Screams Jesus. "Pinocchio!!!!!!!" yells the old man.
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Originally Posted by Got Milk?
