I............must..............correct.
Two days ago I had a day off from both school and work. I allowed myself to sleep in late seeing as how I had absolutely nothing
important to do with my life. Upon rising from my extended slumber I proceeded to cleanse myself in the shower. I was sure to rinse and
repeat because I follow instructions all the time. Once I had finished with my full body scrub I left the shower and dryed off. I then
dressed myself in my favorite Apple Bottom Jeans, boots with the fur, and "I'm With Stupid" t-shirt. Now, seeing as how I did not have a
functioning automobile (I am waiting on my three SR20's and fifty weight), I placed a phone call to an aquaintance of mine to come by
and pick me up. The call went like so, "Good day my dear friend, would you be so kind as to come by and pick me up?" "Certainly my friend, for you
I would do anything." I waited around ten minutes and upon his arrival we bumped chests and departed in his car. We traveled south with the
intention of inspecting an automobile. My good friend wished to look upon the car to determine if it was something worthy of trading his current
conveyance for. He felt that his status would change to baller if this exchange were to occur. During our transit there we were pulled over
by the local law enforcement. The officers informed us that they believed the car we were in was stolen. A pair of detectives were called in
to investigate whether the vehicle we had just been traveling in was in fact not the property of my close aquaintance. The law enforcement officals
desired to place us within restraints due to our unscrupulous appearance. In time the situation was diffused and we were allowed to continue
on our way. We proceed on to our destination with the thoughts that everything will be well now. Upon our having said thought the car begins to
overheat. The overheating is not of desirable nature. My friend and I were forced to stop for a moment to allow the car to cool down. We stopped
in a part of town where the street lights were all shot out and the local population was comprised of those of a darker complextion. We immediately
began stereotyping the people around us, even though none of them were paying us no attention, due to our ignorance and contempt of those different
than ourselves. Eventually the car cooled down and we continued on our way, thankful to be alive. We merge onto Interstate 285 and are quickly met
with further misfortune. One of the tires on the car rapidly deflates in what seems a random occurence, but is clearly in fact a deliberate and
calculated attack upon our very lives by Mexican carpenters. My friend steers the car into the emergency lane so as to position the vehicle in a
safe location to commence the changing of the tire. We lament our lack of good luck and question God above as to if this day could contain anymore
negative happenings. As we are standing in the emergency lane coming up with a surefire plan to change the ill fated tire we are presented with yet
another test of our resolve. A hooligan, with the intention of causing us physical and mental distress, hurls a ketchup sandwich at us. His aim is
steadfast and his execution is spot on as he successfully targets us both. My friend and I stand there soiled by a single ketchup sandwich that
was launched from a vehicle moving at a high rate of speed. Now, seeing as how neither my friend or I had an operating vehicle, we called yet
another aquaintance of ours to come extract us from the side of the interstate. It takes this third individual nearly an hour to arrive due to the
fact it is past 11:00pm at night. We resign ourselves to the fact that our original plan for the evening is a total and complete failure. With that
in mind we simply go home.
Originally Posted by DJ Maestro
I............must..............correct.
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