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Thread: SNWS so heres a funny story involving purp...56k no no

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    Osaka Sokutatsu mocha latte cupcake's Avatar
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    Default SNWS so heres a funny story involving purp...56k no no

    so i was typing this morning right? but wait... lets backup before that.

    i pulled out of my drive way this morning, narrowly missing this inch worm that was on the ground. don't ask me how i saw an inch worm from INSIDE the car allll the way over on the ground but i did.


    anyways, so i almost took someones life this morning. now fast forward about :13 seconds and i'm getting ready to pull out on the side road... aka the hilton head touge. (except we don't have mountains) but it is a really curvy fun road.


    it was rather hot (balmy) this morning so the engine was pretty much warm (aka 2 bars of heated goodness ready for vtak initiation) so i waited my turn to pull out into traffic when i noticed it....the inch worm... or perhaps.... a doppleganger....


    CHANCE! opening in traffic *star specs IKE*


    as i followed behind what appeared to be a normal neon.... it happened.
    i could feel its presence... something evil was on its way... or wait! it was here....



    the neon in front of me was the evil4.... i could hear its dry cough blow off valve, and its fluttering wastegate... this was going to be one for the ages boys and girls...

    so i prepared. i looked @ the inch worm and he gave me the go ahead signal as he prepared for vtak battle on the touge HHI!


    but as i downshifted into 2nd breaching vtec slightly... he turned on his blinker and go off @ the 1st spoke of the traffic circle... or as i call them... skidpads.

    so the tops down and we're ridin dirty through the forest area we come to a red light...and i see a lady in her suv looking @ something on my car... so i'm all like


    and she's all like


    and i was all like...


    then she pointed to the front of haley... i was like z0mg! j00 can see him too?! the inchworm... she was worried about him. so i got out of haley and proceeded to carefully take him off and thanked him for the participation in the previous battle against teh evil neon of failzors got punked out by a inchworm with uh S2k... pssh *bish* and i put him on a leaf far away from the road to ensure his safety... well then i was like z0mg teh GREEN LAMPS!

    BARREL ROLE! into haley


    and we hit mad vtax and ran through the yellow lamp in a niche of time! *phew*

    *scene edited, only available in directors cut here*

    with her feet behind her head the WHOLE TIME

    so anyways i got back on the road and, as i was cruising to work i saw a school bus, i was like... who doesn't like z0mg sects sounding car blowing by them while they road the bus?!?! i mean honestly?!@ so i did my little fly by and every kid was like z0mg s2k no chit?! wif jay dee em exhousts?! i swear one loli passed out @ the pure soundgasm shock wave that occured as i followed...

    la la la la.... interlude. here....


    BAM! slammed 3rd gear and left that little miata in a wave of sadness and 93 octane miatas with "power" lmfao... someone should have told him that an intake does not create MOAR POWUHZ in a miata

    *sigh* but anyways, so i crossed over the bridge of 170 and i saw a po po... so i acted natural... ya know 10-2 n such... and since i ride around in km/h i decided that i was doing the speed limit @ 102.. don't hate oh my damn km/h i'll have you know it keeps me from speeding most of the time, and its just plain fun anyways.. he gets in behind me and i'm like OH SNAP! wut am i gunna do... wait i know!.... where is it where is it..?!

    FOUND IT!

    JOURNEY!

    crank that faithfully and the cop was like... this song reminds me of when i met my wife so he turns off.... then i'm like

    YOUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU!!!


    crank that vtec boi! and then i was magically @ work. so i pulled in to work and i was safe and sound phew now that was an adventure... but then i remembered something




    PURP CLEAN OUT YOUR FAWKIN INBOX!



    the end

  2. #2
    That T-Shirt Guy stillaneon's Avatar
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    And we wonder why IA's server is always backed up
    I'm just that guy that spends all his time printing.... T-shirts, banners, vinyl, etc.

    "Speed has never killed anyone, suddenly becoming stationary.... that's what gets you"

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    20valves of fury DeutscheBAG!'s Avatar
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    Did this Neon happen to be red driven by some applebag that blows off at ya anytime he gets next to u?

    exhuast sounded like someone having diahrea into a shopvac

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    IA's MIA'r Sammich's Avatar
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    lawlz bwahahahahahhahah +101 to yo crazy f00 ass



    Quote Originally Posted by Sinfix_15 View Post
    You travel with so much luggage that it wont fit in a wagon? you dating a kardashian?

  5. #5
    IA's MIA'r Sammich's Avatar
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    lawlz bwahahahahahhahah +101 to yo crazy f00 ass



    Quote Originally Posted by Sinfix_15 View Post
    You travel with so much luggage that it wont fit in a wagon? you dating a kardashian?

  6. #6
    PURP-a-trader PURP's Avatar
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    bwahahahahaha... fucking epic... cleared in 1 min... hahaha
    Quote Originally Posted by PURP View Post
    A g00n... is a real life thing. It walks, talks, and shits. A goblin is a fictional character that isn't real life. It's FAKE..... like rotas, y0. Hope that helps.

  7. #7
    That T-Shirt Guy stillaneon's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Sammich
    lawlz bwahahahahahhahah +101 to yo crazy f00 ass
    liar. I has no repz
    I'm just that guy that spends all his time printing.... T-shirts, banners, vinyl, etc.

    "Speed has never killed anyone, suddenly becoming stationary.... that's what gets you"

  8. #8
    Z1 Motorsports FTW!! Dr.G35's Avatar
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    ^^haha failzors for j00!!! jay em- zomg!!!! b-e-a-utiful post man. jdm jm + inch worm 1 nonvtak srt4 0


    edit: aww donnie you broke in front of me

  9. #9
    Osaka Sokutatsu mocha latte cupcake's Avatar
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    we are truly a team made purely on coincidence... but i like to believe he gave me the edge

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    ...... amandDA's Avatar
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    wow that was grreat!

  11. #11
    IA's MIA'r Sammich's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by stillaneon
    liar. I has no repz
    i wasnt gona rep your FREEKIN NEON ass



    Quote Originally Posted by Sinfix_15 View Post
    You travel with so much luggage that it wont fit in a wagon? you dating a kardashian?

  12. #12
    Osaka Sokutatsu mocha latte cupcake's Avatar
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    certain people in this thread haz reps now.... +29 to a select few

  13. #13
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    I am laughing out loud sooo bad right now.. So embarrassing thanks to teh jay emmm!


  14. #14
    iBALL staysideways's Avatar
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    i enjoyed that, made my day a little betterz.

    reps to you, fellow inch worm fan

  15. #15
    That T-Shirt Guy stillaneon's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Sammich
    i wasnt gona rep your FREEKIN NEON ass

    Fuck you then!!


    JM, you has reps
    I'm just that guy that spends all his time printing.... T-shirts, banners, vinyl, etc.

    "Speed has never killed anyone, suddenly becoming stationary.... that's what gets you"

  16. #16
    IA's MIA'r Sammich's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by stillaneon
    Fuck you then!!


    JM, you has reps
    freakin neon



    Quote Originally Posted by Sinfix_15 View Post
    You travel with so much luggage that it wont fit in a wagon? you dating a kardashian?

  17. #17
    IA BK OWNER #2 BKgen®'s Avatar
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    LOL. nice, jm. nice.


  18. #18
    T3h Foglights pwn j00!1/! Miranda's Avatar
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    JM... I got nothin...
    Anti-Keyboard Commando Brigade


  19. #19
    283.5°.516"(13.11mm) DirtyMechanic's Avatar
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    i love JM picture stories... but i do have to say... you have done better.
    The G Spot Hero

    "Nitrous is like a hot girl with STDS, you know you want to hit it but your afraid of the consequences."

  20. #20
    GOON oneSLOWex's Avatar
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    LIRL


    +reps

  21. #21
    Windshields hate me. 03RCode's Avatar
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    Lulz... for real.
    -Zach-
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    Quote Originally Posted by Catnip View Post
    it was big, made mine look small, probably didn't use all of it

  22. #22
    Senior Member dabuilding's Avatar
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    damn that was teh funny +3

  23. #23
    Senior Member Decepticon™'s Avatar
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    this was quite possibly the funniest thing I have read in awhile and I actually read pornos........

  24. #24
    I heart fat girls tinkolby_25's Avatar
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    lolz good story
    u shoulds write an E-novel

  25. #25
    ...... amandDA's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by PURE jdm
    certain people in this thread haz reps now.... +29 to a select few
    thant yous!

  26. #26
    tattoo king supamod ALVIN's Avatar
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    i mean uhhhh
    The Chipmunk
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  27. #27
    Teh Womanizer NVEOUS's Avatar
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    I actually read that whole thing. LULZ Damn JM.

  28. #28
    283.5°.516"(13.11mm) DirtyMechanic's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by NVEOUS
    I actually read that whole thing. LULZ Damn JM.
    i always read all of JMs picture stories.. they are just that great. since they are so few and far between.
    The G Spot Hero

    "Nitrous is like a hot girl with STDS, you know you want to hit it but your afraid of the consequences."

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