If I was in that position, I'd try to live life to whatever extent I can. Marry her, you might as well. There's no getting out if it. If not, just blast yourself because there's no point to live. Look if you cant, afford the medication are you sure you want to endure all that pain and suffering that comes with AID? I don't. I don't want to be constantly sick, coughing up blood, having an extremely weak immune system, nah I'd put my self out of misery.