... and then freak the fuck out?
Now I've become what I would call a seasoned smoker (marijuana), and quite enjoy it's effects. I've got a quarter that I've been smoking on for about 3 weeks now and have about a little less than an eighth left (I don't smoke a lot when I do) so I know the weed was just fine. But... Saturday I was in a really awkward mood. Everything everyone said aggravated me so I wanted to get high and forget about it. So that night I smoked a little more than I thought and when I finally sat down on the couch I realized I was WAAAYY higher than I really wanted to be. My mind started racing and I got in thinking mode and couldn't stop. Everything I thought of started another thought and I couldn't stop thinking about shit no matter what I did. Well I got up to go get some cereal and am now thinking about way more shit than I want to. So then randomly the thought pops in my head holy shit, I bet this is why people commit suicide when they're high. Yeah. So now my fucked up head is freaking out about what if I can't stop thinking about stuff, what if I get to the point that I can't take it anymore. And during all this I had a couple of intermittent moments of rationale and kept telling myself I had just smoked too much, just chill out and eat something, then I started thinking I needed to calm down or my heart rate was going to get out of control. So then I got the pleasure of freaking out about my heart rate going out of control and dying. Basically I just made myself sit down on the couch and focus on the tv show that was on and I eventually chilled out enough to enjoy myself, but holy fuck it sucked there for about 45 minutes.
I've never had a moment where I genuinely lost control of my mind. It was going wherever it wanted and I believed everything it came up with. So basically I was just wondering if anyone else has freaked the fuck out on weed or any other drug. I know a lot of people are going to say you can't be too high blablabla, but I have no reason to lie about this. It scared me. It made me wonder what I would have done if I wasn't as sane as I am.
But anyway. Say what you will but I just want to hear some discussion.