Yeah I made it through the holidays and the past month I havent even cried but then yesterday me and DP went to Ikea and we started talking about Leisa and some stuff that has been going on that makes me think she is still around me, and I realized today how the past few weeks I have just tried not to think about it at all, and thats why today was such a hard day for me, tears were shed today. I havent gone to a support group or really even looked, I think I am afraid of what I will discover about myself and afraid of digging it all back up.

Im doin okay though, Just when I made this thread earlier was when it was hitting me all at once and how long its been. Before I know it I will be hitting the 1 year mark. Our wedding anniversary and her birthday are within the next few months, those will be the hardest days every year for the rest of my life.

But to those of you who care so much about me and I know you all have my back, I cant thank you enough.