Got some weird news today...

[4dmin]

So i got a call from my mom this morning letting me know my grandfather passed away almost a year ago late Jan 2007; she happened to check w/ SS to see if he was still living. My family is a little crazy and mixed up so I haven't spoken to my grandfather in quite sometime; probably 6-8 years ago. After finding out this info i really don't feel anything b/c i really never knew him and what i did know about him wasn't worth remembering. my mother was adopted so we aren't blood related but i think what i most troubling to me about this is i wonder if he died feeling regret for everything he had missed over the years?

anyone else have similar situation w/ a family member?

[Sammich]

NAW NOT ME, I THINK I WOULD FEEL AS U FEEL THOUGH, NO LOST.

SORRY ABOUT HIS PASSING THOUGH

[alpine_aw11]

That's a strange situation. Did you and him ever have problems?

[AirMax95]

Yeah, anytime you have family/people that you are not close to, you tend to not "feel" anything. Its perfectly normal because there is not a strong bond there.

My half brothers mom passed a while ago, he was upset of course, but I had no feelings. I met her numerous times, but never "bonded" enough for a big emotional impact.

[Kevykev]

Very strange deal, it shows what you stated. the fact that you were NOT close to him.

I'm not even remotely close to my dad's side of the fam.

[mike's02ls1]

I feel ya, both my grand parents on both sides barely know me. I always wanted a grandparent to be there for their grandchildren. So when mine die I can't shed a tear cause I don't know them well.

[4dmin]

That's a strange situation. Did you and him ever have problems?

Honestly my family tried to make the best of a bad situation. My grandfather wasn't much of a father and he had some demons of his own. I am the type of person that lets things go easy and moves on. Life is too short to be unhappy. I never really grew up with grandparents so this is probably why it didn't strike a chord with me. But like i said i just really wonder how people like this feel when they die? I know if i lived such a life i would be so full of regrets on my death bed death couldn't come soon enough.

I am very thankful that I have a good relationship w/ my parents and most of all my brothers.

[alpine_aw11]

Honestly my family tried to make the best of a bad situation. My grandfather wasn't much of a father and he had some demons of his own. I am the type of person that lets things go easy and moves on. Life is too short to be unhappy. I never really grew up with grandparents so this is probably why it didn't strike a chord with me. But like i said i just really wonder how people like this feel when they die? I know if i lived such a life i would be so full of regrets on my death bed death couldn't come soon enough.

I am very thankful that I have a good relationship w/ my parents and most of all my brothers.

I see exactly what you're saying. Even though my grandfather and I were close, when he died a few months ago I didn't let it get to me. It sucks to lose family, but death is necessary. I'm sure your grandfather did have regrets. You can't live a troubled life like that and die truly happy.

[tony]

Similar but slightly different.. my grandparents all lived in Alabama while I grew up in Alaska. I never really knew them and might have met them a couple of times. When they passed it was more a feeling of.. feeling bad for my parents rather than grieving for myself.

I guess the situation is different in the sense of how your grandfather was. With that I assume one would let the negativity die with the person and not continue the qualities he possessed.

[MongolPup]

Honestly my family tried to make the best of a bad situation. My grandfather wasn't much of a father and he had some demons of his own. I am the type of person that lets things go easy and moves on. Life is too short to be unhappy. I never really grew up with grandparents so this is probably why it didn't strike a chord with me. But like i said i just really wonder how people like this feel when they die? I know if i lived such a life i would be so full of regrets on my death bed death couldn't come soon enough.

I am very thankful that I have a good relationship w/ my parents and most of all my brothers.

Kind of a scary prospect since at that point in your life you can't do anything about it, you just lie there with your guilt pressing down on you.

I think that's a cultural thing for us, do whatever you want in the moment and it'll work itself out before too long. But you have to think about how stuff will change your future. I know a girl who got into a spat with a good friend of hers over something legitimate, but they didn't want to work it out at the same time (like one would be ready to bury the hatchet, but the other wouldn't, and then it'd flip). It ended up that one of the girls died in a car accident and they hadn't spoken in months. No closure with your best friend of xx years.

I feel like some times you need to stick to your guns on stuff like that, but you said it: life is too short. In the fast I have apologized to/brushed off stuff that wasn't entirely my fault because it simply isn't worth it. Who's to say who will be alive/dead tomorrow.

[Buttons]

So i got a call from my mom this morning letting me know my grandfather passed away almost a year ago late Jan 2007; she happened to check w/ SS to see if he was still living. My family is a little crazy and mixed up so I haven't spoken to my grandfather in quite sometime; probably 6-8 years ago. After finding out this info i really don't feel anything b/c i really never knew him and what i did know about him wasn't worth remembering. my mother was adopted so we aren't blood related but i think what i most troubling to me about this is i wonder if he died feeling regret for everything he had missed over the years?

anyone else have similar situation w/ a family member?

about the same happened to my mom. her dad divorced her mom at a young age. so she was forced to live with family. somebody called her up one day and asked her her name. and they told her that they found the letters her real dad wrote to her over the years. comes to find out she had four other half-siblings. and that her dad died over a year ago. and they never knew about her. weird to find out about a grandpa dying that you never knew of.

[james]

yeah on xmas day i talked to my aunt. she is my dad's sister. i hadn't talked to her since i was 12, and im 24 now.

it was interesting hearing her voice. family differences have kept us apart, and i doubt anything will change after this. my dad was the one that picked up the phone to call. we haven't heard shit from them in this time...at all. oh well.

[Kaiser]

So i got a call from my mom this morning letting me know my grandfather passed away almost a year ago late Jan 2007; she happened to check w/ SS to see if he was still living. My family is a little crazy and mixed up so I haven't spoken to my grandfather in quite sometime; probably 6-8 years ago. After finding out this info i really don't feel anything b/c i really never knew him and what i did know about him wasn't worth remembering. my mother was adopted so we aren't blood related but i think what i most troubling to me about this is i wonder if he died feeling regret for everything he had missed over the years?

anyone else have similar situation w/ a family member?

It's brutal to say but when my grandmother (Paternal, my dad's biological mom as well) passed away I felt very little. I was sad that she had passed away, but there was so much bad blood there that i didn't feel much more than that. To put it in true perspective, I empathized with Brett and felt more emotion with Leisa's passing than I did with her. It's a nasty ugly situation but I know the feeling. I often wonder if she passed away feeling bad for how she treated me and my mom, but to be honest I doubt it. We gave her plenty of oppurtunity...anyways.

Don't feel too broken up about how it made you feel my friend, the choices that lead you two apart were at least half his.

[quickdodge®]

anyone else have similar situation w/ a family member?

While we were still in Long Beach, my Father (legally) disowned my sister and I and took off. I was a couple of years old and she was a year behind me. We later moved here and found out soon after that had moved here as well. With his new wife and two children. And only about 30 minutes away. My Mom got the call in 1985 (I was 15) that he had died. She pulled me to the side and told me and I remember distinctly telling her, "Can I go on out and play?" I thought nothing of it. I've still yet to have EVER seen a picture of him. No idea what he looked like or anything.

I think he died of some disease. I do remember being glad he died, but more not really caring. I also remembering knowing his other children knows what my sister and I feel like in a sense. I know I have no regrets and I never cared enough to wonder if he did.

All I know now is that I have a half brother and sister not far from me that I've met, lolol. And I have no intentions on doing so. Later, QD.

[C-loS109]

my grampa died over the summer, i never ever saw him until i got to the us which was almost 7 years ago but we still didnt talk to each other much, never called him granpa just by his name and he never called me anything except for my name. this wasnt the case with the rest of my cusins he had nicknames for all of them so i guess that too separated us.

well when he died i was shocked not because of his death but because he was really healthy a week before his death, but like the OP i didnt feel anything, i felt strange going to the service and funeral just because everybody around me was feeling horrible and i was just waiting for the whole thing to be over. too this day i feel weird about the whole situation

[IMPORTchic]

My dads dad was never a part of my life either, called me racist names just because I was friends with blacks in middle/highschool, so when the man died I cared nothing about going wayyyyy out of my way to go to the funeral. MY dad (which not to mention has not been that much of a part of my life either) seems to still hold that over my head like 5 years later......

Crazy families FTL.

I am really sorry for your loss though. I know how it feels not having certain family members a part of your life. I wondered the same thing about if he felt guilt......guess I will never know.... I just know I didnt really get too hurt over the situation of him passing.....sounds harsh, but ohhh well...its life...

[Seymour222]

So i got a call from my mom this morning letting me know my grandfather passed away almost a year ago late Jan 2007; she happened to check w/ SS to see if he was still living. My family is a little crazy and mixed up so I haven't spoken to my grandfather in quite sometime; probably 6-8 years ago. After finding out this info i really don't feel anything b/c i really never knew him and what i did know about him wasn't worth remembering. my mother was adopted so we aren't blood related but i think what i most troubling to me about this is i wonder if he died feeling regret for everything he had missed over the years?

anyone else have similar situation w/ a family member?

Kind of wild. If he did feel a lot of remorse and wished he could have changed things for the better, would that make you feel any different?