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Thread: Got Banned from Wal-Mart?

  1. #1
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    Default Got Banned from Wal-Mart?

    this isnt me but I found this on another forum

    lol







    BANNED FROM WAL MART...........
    This is why women should not take men shopping against their will.
    My girlfriend insisted that I accompany her on
    her trips to Wal-Mart. Unfortunately, like most men, I found shopping boring and preferred to get in and get out. Equally unfortunately, my girlfriend is like most women - - she loved to browse. Yesterday my dear girlfriend received the following letter from the local Wal-Mart.

    Dear Ms. Samsel,

    Over the past six months, your boyfriend has been causing quite a commotion in our store. We cannot tolerate this behavior and have been forced to ban both of you from the store. Our complaints against him are listed below and are documented by our video
    surveillance cameras.

    1. June 15:
    Took 24 boxes of condoms and randomly put them in people's carts when they weren't looking.

    2 . July 2:
    Set all the alarm clocks in House wares to go off at 5-minute intervals.

    3. July 7:
    Made a trail of tomato juice on the floor leading to the women's restroom.

    4. July 19:
    Walked up to an employee and told her in an official voice, "Code 3 in House wares. Get on it right away."

    5. August 4:
    Went to the Service Desk and tried to put a bag of M&M's on layaway.

    6. August 14:
    Moved a "CAUTION - WET FLOOR" sign to a carpeted area.

    7. August 15:
    Set up a tent in the camping department and told other shoppers he'd invite them in if they would bring pillows and blankets from the bedding department.

    8. August 23:
    When a clerk asked if they could help him he began crying and screamed, "Why can't you people just leave me alone?"

    9. September 4:
    Looked right into the security camera and used it as a mirror while he picked his nose.

    10. September 10:
    While handling guns in the hunting department, he asked the clerk where the antidepressants were.

    11. October 3:
    Darted around the store suspiciously while loudly humming the " Mission Impossible" theme.

    12. October 6:
    In the auto department, he practiced his "Madonna look" by using different sizes of funnels.

    13. October 18:
    Hid in a clothing rack and when people browsed through, yelled "PICK ME! PICK ME!"

    14. October 21:
    When an announcement came over the loud speaker, he assumed a fetal position and screamed "OH NO! IT'S THOSE VOICES AGAIN!"

    And last, but not least ..

    15. October 23: Went into a fitting room, shut the door, waited awhile, then yelled very loudly, "Hey! There's no toilet paper in here!"

  2. #2
    C7 On_Her_Face's Avatar
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    I did the last one with my mom once when I was about 13, she didn't like that too much.

  3. #3
    IA SITE SPONSOR! silversol's Avatar
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    repost!
    Hella stock member!

  4. #4
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    Quote Originally Posted by LS2_KID
    I did the last one with my mom once when I was about 13, she didn't like that too much.

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    I searched an didnt find it, and thought no one has posted it before dammnit,,, Ok delete this then sorry
    Quote Originally Posted by silversol
    repost!

  6. #6
    What Of It? SouthrnStyle's Avatar
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    Thats great i would have liked to watch this take place..

  7. #7
    resident honda hater redrumracer's Avatar
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    ive read it before but i still loled

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    Senior Member | IA Veteran quickdodge®'s Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by silversol
    repost!
    And not a real event, lolol. But it is funny as hail. Later, QD.
    FOR MORE INFO, CLICK THE PIC!!!


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    FOR LEXOPHILES (LOVERS OF WORDS):

    1. A bicycle can't stand alone; it is two tired.

    2. A will is a dead giveaway.

    3. Time flies like an arrow; fruit flies like a banana.

    4. A backward poet writes inverse.

    5. In a democracy, it's your vote that counts; in feudalism, it's your Count
    that votes.

    6. A chicken crossing the road: poultry in motion.

    7. If you don't pay your exorcist, you can get repossessed.

    8. With her marriage, she got a new name and a dress.

    9. Show me a piano falling down a mine shaft and I'll show you A-flat miner.

    10. When a clock is hungry, it goes back four seconds.

    11. The guy who fell onto an upholstery machine was fully recovered.

    12. A grenade fell onto a kitchen floor in France resulted in Linoleum
    Blown apart.

    13. You are stuck with your debt if you can't budge it.

    14. Local Area Network in Australia : The LAN down under.

    15. He broke into song because he couldn't find the key.

    16. A calendar's days are numbered.

    17. A lot of money is tainted: 'Taint yours, and 'taint mine.

    18. A boiled egg is hard to beat.

    19. He had a photographic memory which was never developed.

    20. A plateau is a high form of flattery.

    21. The short fortune teller who escaped from prison: a small medium at
    large.

    22. Those who get too big for their britches will be exposed in the end.

    23. When you've seen one shopping center, you've seen a mall.

    24. If you jump off a Paris bridge, you are in Seine .

    25. When she saw her first strands of gray hair, she thought she'd dye.

    26. Bakers trade bread recipes on a knead to know basis.

    27. Santa's helpers are subordinate clauses.

    28. Acupuncture: a jab well done.

    29. Marathon runners with bad shoes suffer the agony of de feet.

    It is better to have loved a short woman than never to have loved a tall.

  10. #10
    Senior Member | IA Veteran quickdodge®'s Avatar
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    Police were called to a day care where a three-year-old was resisting a rest.

    Later, QD,
    FOR MORE INFO, CLICK THE PIC!!!


  11. #11
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    lolol
    Quote Originally Posted by quickdodge®
    Police were called to a day care where a three-year-old was resisting a rest.

    Later, QD,

  12. #12
    I♥mydick ٩(-̮̮̃•̃)۶ FasTech's Avatar
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    That was pretty funny.

  13. #13
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    hahahahaha

    this is funny as hell
    weak civic

  14. #14
    resident honda hater redrumracer's Avatar
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    i liked that tech5

    the second one.

  15. #15
    IA's Pedo-cord tdurr's Avatar
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    lol tech u get repz for the a-flat miner

    Save ur engines!
    Quote Originally Posted by Echonova View Post
    The internet: It's not just for Porn anymore.

  16. #16
    STILL HERE!! tron's Avatar
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    ok that was funny
    thanks for lols
    “Alfalfa peak”—an odd ridge on a car that is otherwise a lava-lamp jubilee of rounded Oprah-ness.

    -car and driver, 370z review

  17. #17
    Accord->Evo EmminoDaGreat's Avatar
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    lol

    The EMPIRE

  18. #18
    インテグラ K20Z1's Avatar
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    hahaahaha rep

  19. #19
    MAY CAUSE CANCER Psycho's Avatar
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    Funny ass stuff

  20. #20
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    hahahha funny ass shit
    RX7

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