Originally Posted by
VooDooXII
ACURA
Asia's Curse Upon Rural America
A Car Usually Rarely Appreciates
Always Catching Up, Rarely Ahead
AMC
A Mutated Car
A Morons Car
Ain't My Car
Another Major Catastrophe
AUDI
Accelerates Under Demonic Influence
Always Unsafe Designs Implemented
A Used Dodge Incognito
BMW
Beautiful Models Wanted
Beautiful Mechanical Wonder
Big Money Withdrawal
Break My Window
Bought My Wife
Brutal Money Waster
Brings Me Women
Burns Money Well
BUICK
Big Ugly Indestructible Car Killer
CADILLAC
Company Always Denies Its Lawful Liability After Collisions
CHEVROLET
Can Hear Every Valve Rap On Long Extended Trips
Cheap, Hardly Efficient, Virtually Runs On Luck Every Time
Constantly Having Every Vehicle Recalled Over Lousy Engineering Techniques
CHRYSLER
Company Has Recommended You Start Learning Engine Repair
Company Has Rid Your Savings Legally: Electronic Robbery
Chrysler Has Raped Your Sanity Loser - Expect Repercussions
DAEWOO
Darn Automobile Ain't Expensive but With Out a doubt Obsolete
DODGE
Darn Old Dirty Gas Eater
Drips Oil, Drops Grease Everywhere
Daily Overhauls Do Get Expensive
Design Of Diabolical German Engineer
Don't Our Dealers Gouge Everyone
FERRARI
Fabulous Engined Red Rocket, Always Rules Interstates
Finely Engineered Race-Ready Automobile, Rarely Intimidated
Feel Every Raindrop Ruin A Real Investment
Fast, Exotic, Racy, Red And Really Impractical
Ferociously Elegant Racer Ravages All Roads Intuitively
FIAT
Failure in Italian Automotive Technology
Fix It All the Time
Fix It Again, Tony!
Futile Italian Attempt at Technology
FORD
First On Recall Day
Ford Owners Recommend Dodge
Fast Only Rolling Downhill
Fancy Oil Recycling Device
Frequent Overhaul, Rapid Depreciation
For Old Retired Drunks
First On Rust and Deterioration
Fix Or Repair Daily
Found On Road, Dead
Fault Of Research & Development
Fast Only Rolling Downhill
Features O.J. & Ron's DNA
Backwards: Driver Returns On Foot
Forget Out Running Dale
Fatally Obese Redneck Driver
Frequent Opinion: Really Disappointed
Free Or Reduced Drastically
Flipped Over Roadside Disaster
Fireball On Rear Denting
Firestone Overstates Reliability Data
GM
General Maintenance
Grossly Misconceived
GMC
Garage Man's Companion
Got Mechanics Coming?
Great Mountain Climber
HOLDEN
Heaps of Laps Done Easily Nightly
HONDA
Had One, Never Did Again
Happy Owners Never Drive Anything else
How Odd, No Damn Acceleration
Hallmark Of Non-Destructable Automobiles
Hugely Overated Neon-Draped Automobiles
Horribly Obnoxious Noise During Acceleration
Horsepower Option Never Did Appear
Honda Options Never Deal Affordably
HUMMER
Hope U Made Me Extra Reliable
Huge Ugly Mother, Mostly Eats Resources
HYUNDAI
Hope You Understand Nothing's Driveable And Inexpensive
Here's Y U Never Drive An Import
Hold Your Usual Nitpicks, Designs Are Improved
JAGUAR
Just A Guess, U Are Rich
JEEP
Junk in Each and Every Part
Just Eats Every Part
Junk Engineering Executed Poorly
KIA
Kiddy, Insigificant, Automobile
Keep It Away!
Kick It's Ass
Korean Imitation Accord
Korea's Imported Accident
Killer's Imported Asset
Kiss It Away
Killed In Action
Keep Inside Asia
Korea Invades America
Killed in Accidents
LOTUS
Loads Of Trouble Usually Serious
MASERATI
Must Also Suggest Extra Rope And Towing Implements
MAZDA
Most Always Zipping Dangerously Along
Must Always Zoom Down Asphalt
Most Are Zealously Duped Always
MERCEDES
My Expensive Race Car Emits Dense Exhaust Smoke - But Efficiency Near Zero
Merger Engaged, Reversed Chrysler's Entering Decline Evident Soon
MISTUBISHI
May Involve Turbo, Slow Unless Boost Is Silly High Inside
Mostly In The Shop Undergoing Big Investments, Sometimes Halfway Incomplete
Motor Is Tough, Sounds Unbelievably Bad, (but) Intimidates Slow Hondas Incessantly
Manufactured In Taiwan Sold Under British Influence Shipped Here Incomplete
Management Incessantly Tolerates Socially Unacceptable Behavior, Ignoring Sexual Harassment Incidents
NISSAN
Nice, Ingenius, Sweet Sounding, Accelerating Non-sense
Nevermind Import Tax, Ship Skylines to America Now
Need I Say Something About Nothing
OLDSMOBILE
Old Ladies Driving Slowly Make Others Behind Infuriatingly Late Everyday.
Overpriced, Leisurely Driven Sedan Made Of Buick's Irregular Leftover Equipment
PONTIAC
Poor Old Numbskull Thinks It's A Cadillac
Pretty Overpriced, Not That I Am Concerned
PORSCHE
Proof Of Rich Spoiled Children Having Everything
Plenty Of Receipts. Sorry, Can't Have Everything
Plenty Of Repairs...Service Can't Help Everything
SAAB
Send Another Automobile Back
Swedish Automobiles Always Break
Sad Attempt At Beauty
Stupid Asshole Actually Bought
Sorry Auto Assembled Backwards
Stop Asking About Brakes
SALEEN
Some Aristocrats Love Every Expensive Novelty
SATURN
Sorry Assed Transmission Under Repair Now
Some Argue That Ubiquitous Repairs Needed
Send Another Towtruck Unnecessary Repairs Needed
Same American Trash Under Revised Name
SUBARU
Stupid Urbanites Bumbling Around Rural Areas
TOYOTA
Too Often Yankees Overpay (for) This Auto
Torturous On Your Old Tired Ass
The One You Ought To Avoid
This One You Oughta Throw Away
To Operate Your Own Terrific Automobile
Toyota Overcharges You On Their Accessories
TRIUMPH
This Really Is Unreliable Man, Please Help!
Tried Repairing It Until My Parts Hurt!
VOLVO
Very Odd Looking Vehicular Object
Very Overpriced...Lame Vehicle Options
VW
Virtually Worthless
Very Weird
Very Wonderful
Very Old Lowered Kinky Sedan With A Great Engine Noise
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