So I had 3 weird ass fucking dreams last night, and 1 crazy experience.

I only remember the ends of my dreams so bare with me.
Dream #1: So I'm standing at the bottom of the stairwell to some apartments with a female friend of mine, and to one direction is like grass and then woods about 4 feet from the end of the concrete. To the other end is grass, and to my right is the stairwell leading upstairs to the apartments. Anyways, as I'm turning to go up the stairs after making some remark to my friend, I see this huge fucking mastiff dashing from the woods towards me. Instinctively I was about to run, then I stopped hoping it wasn't about to attack me, which it didn't. It just ran past me, then I looked to the woods and I saw what I figured to be the owner standing there with a leash in his hand, and like 3 more dogs coming from behind him running in the same direction as the first dog (towards the parking lot). I look to the direction of the parking lot, and the first dog is running back towards me, and then like.....jumps on me. I staggered a little, but kept my balance, and the thing was gnawing away at my shoulder. So I start kicking the fucker, and in response its buddies and like 5-6 more dogs from the woods come charing towards me, but they're only attacking my hands and my face. The whole time the owner and my friend are standing their either smiling, or in amazement as I'm being attacked by these dogs. Crazy shit.....then I woke up.

That was at like 3am I woke up, then I had the experience after I tried to go back to sleep. I used the bathroom, and then fidgeted in my bed for a little while before I finally started to feel myself drift off.

Normally I sleep on my stomach, with the top of my head on my pillow and my hands up under the pillow, legs either spread or together depending on the temp. So I change to that position, and i'm looking at my wall and all of a sudden I feel something push down on an area of my bed. I stopped breathing and twitched my head a little as though to take a look, but just as I was doing that I felt this immense pressure pushing on my lower back and on my head to keep me from moving. I panicked like my life was in jeopardy, but I couldn't move and I couldn't yell for some reason. My legs were free, but I couldn't move them, so I started to panic more. Then all of a sudden the pressure is released and I hop up, out my bed panting and breathing hard as shit, sweat soaked like a mo-fo. I checked the clock and it was 5:22. Calmed myself down, changed the sheets because they were wet from sweat.

Dream #2: I only remember pulling long pieces of my own hair, and those ribbon things you usually use to tie to balloons from in between my lower teeth. Like...from the gums, but the feeling that something was between my teeth and I was pulling it out. The strands of hair and ribbon were 5-8 inches long, then I woke up.

Dream #3: Craziest of them all. So I'm married to Thandie Newton:


and we're spending the night at her mother's, my mother-in-laws. Its getting late, and everyone is getting ready for bed. As i'm heading to the bathroom, I'm thinking about how good taking this shit is gonna feel and I remember the mother mentioning something about a pet possum.Note: For soem reasont here is a coat rack behind the toilet, don't ask why. Well I'm sitting on the throne getting ready to release my chocolate covered excellence when I feel something scratching on my thigh. I lean over to take a look and all I see is a tail, and before I know it this possum is trying to get INTO my asshole from the other side. Note: this was just as I was getting ready for the releasing push, so I have to spoil it and hold that shit in as I pull my pants up and kick the possum out of the bathroom. This time, for some reason, I lock the door and resume my position on the throne. I manage to get one turd of awesomeness out when I feel something on my shoulder, so I turn my head and look and its this slightly larger than normal (maybe 14lbs.)black cat jumping from the coat rack, using my shoulder as a stepping stone. Already I'm like wtf, but this thing seems pissed so I try to play it cool. It turns and looks at me and opens its mouth wide and flattens its ears back and hisses and shit. So I'm considering rushing the last bit of my shit out and then getting the fuck outta there, but then a smaller cat hops from the other side of the coat rack, and lands on my other shoulder. Off the bat, I try to swat it away, which ends with my finder in its mouth, and that swat turning into a grab. So with a hold on the things head I'm trying to yank it from my shoulder and throw it at the other cat, but this motherfucker has its hind legs latched, and I mean LATCHED to my shoulder and will not let for the life of it. So I'm pulling and yanking and yelling and shit while the previously mentioned black cat is walking towards me hissing getting ready to attack me and shit. Then I woke up.

Pretty weird shit.....wtf does this mean IA? I woke up pretty fuckin pissed because the last dream had the potential to be a very good wet dream, if only I had gotten out of that god damn bathroom and into bed with my wife. .


tldr;
Dream #1: Dogs attack hands and face.
Dream #2: Pulling my own hair and ribbons you use to tie balloons from inbetween my teeth.
Dream #3: Possum tries to crawl into my ass while taking a shit, two cats attack me.
Experience/Dream: Something/Someone restrained me, but I couldn't yell or move, only breath and move eyes.