I'm not much of an alcohol guy myself so I get what you're saying. Beer, to me, is nasty as hell and I'm with on the stupidity of "acquiring a taste". If you don't like it, then don't drink it. No sense in drinking until you convince yourself to like it. For an alcohol that doesn't taste like cold, watered down coffee, try some malt beverages like Smirnoff or maybe some mixed drinks like a Crown & Coke. Some meatheads might give you sh*t for it, but f*ck 'em.

Drink what tastes good.