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[DirtyMechanic]

Don't miss out on your benefits!

Becoming Illegal (Actual letter from an Iowa resident and sent to his senator)

The Honorable Tom Harkin
731 Hart Senate Office Building
Phone (202) 224 3254
Washington DC, 20510

Dear Senator Harkin,

As a native Iowan and excellent customer of the Internal Revenue Service, I am writing to ask for your assistance. I have contacted the Department of Homeland Security in an effort to determine the process for becoming an illegal alien and they referred me to you.

My primary reason for wishing to change my status from U.S. Citizen to illegal alien stems from the bill which was recently passed by the Senate and for which you voted. If my understanding of this bill's provisions is accurate, as an illegal alien who has been in the United States for five years, all I need to do to become a citizen is to pay a $2,000 fine and income taxes for three of the last five years. I know a good deal when I see one and I am anxious to get the process started before everyone figures it out.

Simply put, those of us who have been here legally have had to pay taxes every year so I'm excited about the prospect of avoiding two years of taxes in return for paying a $2,000 fine. Is there any way that I can apply to be illegal retroactively? This would yield an excellent result for me and my family because we paid heavy taxes in 2004 and 2005.

Additionally, as an illegal alien I could begin using the local emergency room as my primary health care provider. Once I have stopped paying premiums for medical insurance, my accountant figures I could save almost $10,000 a year.

Another benefit in gaining illegal status would be that my daughter would receive preferential treatment relative to her law school applications, as well as 'in-state' tuition rates for many colleges throughout the United States for my son.

Lastly, I understand that illegal status would relieve me of the burden of renewing my driver's license and making those burdensome car insurance premiums. This is very important to me given that I still have college age children driving my car.

If you would provide me with an outline of the process to become illegal (retroactively if possible) and copies of the necessary forms, I would be most appreciative. Thank you for your assistance.

Your Loyal Constituent,
Donald Ruppert
Burlington, IA

Get your Forms (NOW)!! Call your Internal Revenue Service 1-800-289-1040.

Please pass this on to your friends so they can save on this great offer.

[alpine_aw11]

LOL. That senator just got owned.

[Got Vtec?]

Don't miss out on your benefits!

Becoming Illegal (Actual letter from an Iowa resident and sent to his senator)

The Honorable Tom Harkin
731 Hart Senate Office Building
Phone (202) 224 3254
Washington DC, 20510

Dear Senator Harkin,

As a native Iowan and excellent customer of the Internal Revenue Service, I am writing to ask for your assistance. I have contacted the Department of Homeland Security in an effort to determine the process for becoming an illegal alien and they referred me to you.

My primary reason for wishing to change my status from U.S. Citizen to illegal alien stems from the bill which was recently passed by the Senate and for which you voted. If my understanding of this bill's provisions is accurate, as an illegal alien who has been in the United States for five years, all I need to do to become a citizen is to pay a $2,000 fine and income taxes for three of the last five years. I know a good deal when I see one and I am anxious to get the process started before everyone figures it out.

Simply put, those of us who have been here legally have had to pay taxes every year so I'm excited about the prospect of avoiding two years of taxes in return for paying a $2,000 fine. Is there any way that I can apply to be illegal retroactively? This would yield an excellent result for me and my family because we paid heavy taxes in 2004 and 2005.

Additionally, as an illegal alien I could begin using the local emergency room as my primary health care provider. Once I have stopped paying premiums for medical insurance, my accountant figures I could save almost $10,000 a year.

Another benefit in gaining illegal status would be that my daughter would receive preferential treatment relative to her law school applications, as well as 'in-state' tuition rates for many colleges throughout the United States for my son.

Lastly, I understand that illegal status would relieve me of the burden of renewing my driver's license and making those burdensome car insurance premiums. This is very important to me given that I still have college age children driving my car.

If you would provide me with an outline of the process to become illegal (retroactively if possible) and copies of the necessary forms, I would be most appreciative. Thank you for your assistance.

Your Loyal Constituent,
Donald Ruppert
Burlington, IA

Get your Forms (NOW)!! Call your Internal Revenue Service 1-800-289-1040.

Please pass this on to your friends so they can save on this great offer.

[Double_0_Rusty]

I want to sign up!!!! with teh qwikness

[eViLMunkey]

Bwahahahaha

[Me86Rob]

lololololololololololololololololol

[dz988]

wow!!

[§treet_§peed]

finally I CAN GET HEALTH INSURANCE!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[Revmaynard]

Fcking sweet! Now we can make fun of people for being legal!! LOL

[MR. 200SX]

What an ignorant POS. It's easy to "talk" or to "write" a letter without even knowing the true facts about this situation. Did this guy ever been to an ER room? Last time I checked you have to be a United States citizen to receive the very few health benefits this country provides.

Tuition in all or "most" states is 5 times higher for non-resident students than it is for legal resident students. They make it unaffordable for illegal immigrants to go to school and hopefully leave to their country but instead most of them end up on the streets and stop them from getting a good education to help this country grow.

Illegal immigrants can't get a free apartment to live in, food stamps or unemployment that it's being paid by OUR taxes.

I would much rather leave "illegal" immigrants alone because at least most of them work hard. They don't go trading food stamps for drugs and claim they are disable when they are perfectly fine to work.

Where is there the form I have to fill up to be a LEGAL scump bag that lives off our government and hard earned money? Sign me up for that.

You know before trying to solve the problems cause by other people why don't we focus in solving the ones cause by our very own people and that way we don't have to find someone to put the blame on.

[ubers2k]

What an ignorant POS. It's easy to "talk" or to "write" a letter without even knowing the true facts about this situation. Did this guy ever been to an ER room? Last time I checked you have to be a United States citizen to receive the very few health benefits this country provides.

Tuition in all or "most" states is 5 times higher for non-resident students than it is for legal resident students. They make it unaffordable for illegal immigrants to go to school and hopefully leave to their country but instead most of them end up on the streets and stop them from getting a good education to help this country grow.

Illegal immigrants can't get a free apartment to live in, food stamps or unemployment that it's being paid by OUR taxes.

I would much rather leave "illegal" immigrants alone because at least most of them work hard. They don't go trading food stamps for drugs and claim they are disable when they are perfectly fine to work.

Where is there the form I have to fill up to be a LEGAL scump bag that lives off our government and hard earned money? Sign me up for that.

You know before trying to solve the problems cause by other people why don't we focus in solving the ones cause by our very own people and that way we don't have to find someone to put the blame on.

uh... WHAT?!

This would be readable if you could have taken the time to make sure there weren't so many typographical errors.

Damn. Attempting to read that made my head hurt.

[SiRed94]

It would be hilarious if they responded with "Sure, not a problem." and then deported his ass to some third world country... hahahahah

[Ed]

What an ignorant POS. It's easy to "talk" or to "write" a letter without even knowing the true facts about this situation. Did this guy ever been to an ER room? Last time I checked you have to be a United States citizen to receive the very few health benefits this country provides.

Tuition in all or "most" states is 5 times higher for non-resident students than it is for legal resident students. They make it unaffordable for illegal immigrants to go to school and hopefully leave to their country but instead most of them end up on the streets and stop them from getting a good education to help this country grow.

Illegal immigrants can't get a free apartment to live in, food stamps or unemployment that it's being paid by OUR taxes.

I would much rather leave "illegal" immigrants alone because at least most of them work hard. They don't go trading food stamps for drugs and claim they are disable when they are perfectly fine to work.

Where is there the form I have to fill up to be a LEGAL scump bag that lives off our government and hard earned money? Sign me up for that.

You know before trying to solve the problems cause by other people why don't we focus in solving the ones cause by our very own people and that way we don't have to find someone to put the blame on.

i agree. this has got to be one of the most useless and ignorant threads ever made on ia.

if immigrants had it so easy, and a $2k fee was all that was standing between being legal and illegal, i can guarantee, all would pay it gladly.

in-state tuition... that's all i have to say about that...

and what most americans don't realize is that not every illegal that stays here does not pay taxes. i used to work at an insurance/tax office, and our clientele was mostly immigrants, and most of them did pay their taxes. oh and forget that they pay taxes when they go to a supermarket, when they fill up their tank, when they rent a movie. i mean, the 5% or 7% tax that they pay is considered tax right? so the OUR tax money excuse is bull****.

and most immigrants don't have licenses because the government is making it harder everyday. and a lot of the ones that do not have licenses, do have insurance, there are a lot of insurance companies that do not require a license to have a policy.

[Stormhammer]

^^ there's a HUGE billboard on 85S that states that illegal immigrants pay over $175 million dollars in taxes using fake SS#s. That the DOT of GA uses

God if I could become a US Citizen for $2k I'd do it. It freakign SUCKS having to only get out of state, international, or trying to dig up a tax return from a year ago to prove you're in state. ****ing cocksuckers.

I know quite a few people who were sternly against illegals ( especially a friend of mine that went into construction ) till he met some of them personally, realized how hard they actually worked, and their lifestyle, and really had a change of views. On the ones that actually work, pay, go to school at night for english, and try to help their fellow man.

[Dr.G35]

What an ignorant POS. It's easy to "talk" or to "write" a letter without even knowing the true facts about this situation. Did this guy ever been to an ER room? Last time I checked you have to be a United States citizen to receive the very few health benefits this country provides.

Tuition in all or "most" states is 5 times higher for non-resident students than it is for legal resident students. They make it unaffordable for illegal immigrants to go to school and hopefully leave to their country but instead most of them end up on the streets and stop them from getting a good education to help this country grow.

Illegal immigrants can't get a free apartment to live in, food stamps or unemployment that it's being paid by OUR taxes.

I would much rather leave "illegal" immigrants alone because at least most of them work hard. They don't go trading food stamps for drugs and claim they are disable when they are perfectly fine to work.

Where is there the form I have to fill up to be a LEGAL scump bag that lives off our government and hard earned money? Sign me up for that.

You know before trying to solve the problems cause by other people why don't we focus in solving the ones cause by our very own people and that way we don't have to find someone to put the blame on.

i concur wit joo

[Ed]

^^ there's a HUGE billboard on 85S that states that illegal immigrants pay over $175 million dollars in taxes using fake SS#s. That the DOT of GA uses

God if I could become a US Citizen for $2k I'd do it. It freakign SUCKS having to only get out of state, international, or trying to dig up a tax return from a year ago to prove you're in state. ****ing cocksuckers.

I know quite a few people who were sternly against illegals ( especially a friend of mine that went into construction ) till he met some of them personally, realized how hard they actually worked, and their lifestyle, and really had a change of views. On the ones that actually work, pay, go to school at night for english, and try to help their fellow man.

exactly. where are you from?

[ksniperfox]

x2. 95% of the customers(99%are hispanic) that come into my QT every morning buy a whole days worth of food and drinks/supplies for the crew, $100 in gas, and when they get off they come back and buy $20 of beer and gas for their personal vehicles. it is hard to bash some of the hardest working guys that are out there in the sun day in and day out. not to mention, a lot of my $ comes from store profits. and guess who supplies that? ive learned some spanish during my tenure, and most are very decent and nice people. some white people come in and bash them, i tell them to stfu lol

[Ed]

^ reps to non ignorants.

[incawarrior]

what is the house bill or number for this law? I call BullSh|t on this.

[Ed]

what is the house bill or number for this law? I call BullSh|t on this.

what are you talking about? this was obviously some redneck bashing on immigrants.

[BobbyFresco]

I think it's hilarious to hear ppl say that Mexicans are taking jobs away from the American people. Wrong...That would be the Indians and Chinese and whatever other countries we're outsourcing our blue collar jobs to. Be mad at all these corporations and the government for making it profitable for said corporations to send jobs that Americans should have abroad.

Hispanics typically work the jobs that most of us would never do.
The digging ditches, working in the hot ass sun, building homes, roadwork, fast food...These jobs aren't glamorous..They're not making a shiit ton of money. In fact, they often times get paid less than any of us would because people take advantage of the fact that if a worker is of illegal status and has a family to support, he or she will do whatever shiit job they can for what they can.

[BobbyFresco]

One more thing I'd like to add. This country will never be able to deport every single illegal that is here. That being said, there should be an easier process for illegals to become legal. Don't like them driving uninsured and unlicensed? Then help them out.
Think they're cheating this country by not paying income taxes? Help them out. They're not going anywhere anytime soon. Also, Hispanics aren't the ony illegals here. There are an assload of Asians and Africans that come here illegaly every year as well. It just isn't as publicised.

[Red_Phoenix]

Well whoever wrote all that needs to get his facts straight. In order to work illegals use deads ppls socials to get the job. They pay taxes and then never see them again because they can't file. Health benifits???---> thats all I have to say about that. I had to bring one of my workers to the hospital and showed up with workers comp insurance and we sat there until EVERYONE was gone, even ppl who came in AFTER us were seen first. After going off on the front desk after 5 hours of waiting. (we got there at 10 am. Busy? I think not) We were finally seen. A nurse finally told me "off record" that they try to make hispanics wait longer to see if they would leave because the head of the ER doesn't want to deal with them. Would any of you americans like to be treated this way in another country if you cut yoru hand open on a saw???

As far as tuition. I pay $9,000 at gainsville vs like $2,000 what everyone else pays. Same damn education. Explain me that one someone please?

Drivers license- If the gov woudl let ppl drive life woudl be better for everyone. Insurance. They pay that too. and at a much higher rate because they dont' have a GA drivers license.

Many ppl are ignorant when it comes to illegals. I wish they would get their Sh!t straight before bashing

[Z33_kid]

some are cool hardworking people while others are straight assholes thats why i hate my job lol

[Stormhammer]

exactly. where are you from?

Canada.

[Ran]

D@mn, this thread makes me want Taco Bell.

[Stormhammer]

TacoBell gives me the runs My ass turns into the Colorado River when it floods.

[Red_Phoenix]

^EEEEEEEWWWWWWWWWWWW

[DevilK9]

If half of y'all really feel what you've posted, then you need to make sure to tell people like Paul Broun (US CONGRESS GA-10th) to go f/ck themselves!