Capt. Howard: You guys are like a couple of blood sucking ticks, draining the life's blood out of this department... Woosaa!
Marcus Burnett: Damn the woosaa captain, did you just call me a tick?
Capt. Howard: [motioning to Mike] I was referring to him.

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Marcus Burnett: [while ingested with ecstasy, Marcus is wearing Captain Howard's robe walking downstairs talking on the phone] I love it when you call me bunny lobe.
Mike Lowery: ****!
Marcus Burnett: Yeah girl, you should see this sexy **** I got on.
Capt. Howard: Who the hell are you talking to?
Marcus Burnett: Vargas and Rub... Reyes. They said they down for whatever.

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Marcus Burnett: Have my daughter back by 10:01. If she's not back by 10:01 I'm in the car, locked, loaded and hunting your mother****ing ass down.
Mike Lowery: And I'ma be with him.
[pulls gun]
Mike Lowery: You know what it gonna be if I'm there, gonna be Chitty Chitty Bang Bang *****.

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Capt. Howard: I can't believe you guys. Do you get up in the morning, call each other up, 'Good morning, Marcus. Good morning, Mike. How you doin'? Ai'ight. So how are we going to **** up the captain's life today? Gee, I don't know. I don't know. Ooh, look. Over there. Let's kill three fat people and leave them on the street?
Mike Lowery: They were dead before we ran over them.
Capt. Howard: It doesn't matter if they were dead or not! Goddammit! Every time you leave a corpse on the street I have to get these detective guys to come in and see what happened. See? They're detecting ****. Then I've gotta get these forensic coroner guys to stick 'em back in the ****ing bag! Jesus Christ!

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Marcus Burnett: [referring to the loose swimming pool ladder] Get my screwdriver! Damn bolts.
Theresa: Don't mind him. He's just upset because he was injured.
Syd: Is he ok?
Theresa: His wound is fine. It's um, *other things* that were affected.
Syd: Oh. Oh!
Marcus Burnett: Theresa!
Theresa: What?
Marcus Burnett: [to Syd] It's just nerve damage.
[to Theresa]
Marcus Burnett: You not gonna spoil this...I'll talk to you about it.