Since We Have Been Quoting Bad Boy II Quotes
[to his sister, a Miami DEA agent]
Marcus Burnett: That was reckless, that was stupid, and that was dangerous.
[pauses]
Marcus Burnett: I'm telling Mommy.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Marcus Burnett: You a virgin?
Reggie: Yes, sir.
Marcus Burnett: Good. Keep it that way. Ain't gonna be no ****ing tonight.
Mike Lowery: You ever made love to a man?
Reggie: No.
Mike Lowery: You want to?
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Mike Lowery: Now that's how you supposed to shoot, from now on that's how you shoot! Oh man, I want my next partner to shoot like that WOOOOO... it takes a dysfunctional mother****er to bust somebody in the head like that. That's some disfunctional ****! My next partner's gonna invite me to his barbeques and ****, though.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Mike Lowery: Dan Marino should definitely buy this car. Well not this one, cause I'm gonna **** this one up. But he should get one just like it.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Mike Lowery: [singing] Bad boys, bad boys what ya gonna do? What ya gonna do when we come for you?
[Marcus starts ad-libbing the first verse]
Mike Lowery: Dude, you gotta learn the words.
Marcus Burnett: We usually only do the chorus.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Mike Lowery: It ain't exactly a pool, man. It's like a big-ass puddle wrapped in blue plastic.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Mike Lowery: We ride together, we die together. Bad boys for life.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Marcus Burnett: [on seeing a rat] Oh, ****. These ain't normal rats.
Mike Lowery: What my partner means is that these are a special breed called umm...
Marcus Burnett: Big mother****ers.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Capt. Howard: I can't believe you guys. Do you get up in the morning, call each other up, 'Good morning, Marcus. Good morning, Mike. How you doin'? Ai'ight. So how we going to **** up the captain's life today? Gee, I don't know. I don't know. Ooh, look. Over there. Let's kill three fat people and leave them on the street?'
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Mike Lowery: [pointing a flashlight at Marcus' eyes] What are you on? Look at your pupils.
Marcus Burnett: Look at my pupils? How the hell am I gonna look at my pupils?
[tries to cross his eyes]
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
[Repeated Line]
Floyd Poteet: I've got my rights.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Capt. Howard: I've got a Police Commissioner so far up my ass, if he spits it's coming out of my mouth.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Capt. Howard: I've got so much brass up my ass that I can play the Star Spangled Banner.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
[Repeated Line]
Marcus Burnett: Woosah...
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Floyd Poteet: We've got our rights.
Mike Lowery: Why don't you exercise your right to shut the **** up?
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Alexei: The Russian Grim Reaper is here.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Marcus Burnett: You see that?
Mike Lowery: They throwin' cars. How'd I not see that.
Marcus Burnett: Hey, Mike, I'm just trying to be helpful.
Mike Lowery: Hey, you'd know what would be ****in' helpful, Marcus? Just shut the **** up and let me drive, let's try that.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
[repeated line]
Mike Lowery: That's that bull****.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Marcus Burnett: I think we just broke the record for the number of gun fights in one week.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Mike Lowery: Crash the ambulance into the mortuary now.
Detective Mateo Reyes: [over radio] No way. I'm not getting suspended again.
Mike Lowery: I'm gonna whoop your asses if you don't crash that ambulance into the mortuary now.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Mike Lowery: Change the station... more music less Marcus. If you open the door he'll be a black Dr. Phil for the next 40 minutes.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Mike Lowery: Captain, is it possible we can discuss potential reimbursement...
Capt. Howard: The department doesn't cover personal property, that's why we drive police cars.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Marcus Burnett: [During a gun fight] Sir, we just want to talk.
Mike Lowery: You want to talk? All right, go ahead, go ahead.
Marcus Burnett: We're not immigration!
Mike Lowery: [More gunfire] They can't hear you 'coz they still shootin' at you.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
[after Mike's flashback about his therapy]
Marcus Burnett: Mike, you go to therapy to get your issues worked out, not bang your therapist.
Mike Lowery: Now you just talking nasty.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
[to Mike]
Marcus Burnett: You're like a pitbull with that pink thing hanging out.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Marcus Burnett: Look, Mike. Calm down!
Mike Lowery: Calm down? I'm calm. I'm calm. Whoaa! Whoa! I am way too unstable for that bull****! Stop all the goddamn movement! Everybody stop moving.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Marcus Burnett: Mike! There's a papa rat humping the **** out of this mama rat. No, he's straight pile-driving her!
Mike Lowery: Now how is that information gonna help me do my job?
Marcus Burnett: They **** just like us!
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
[to Syd]
Megan Burnett: I bet you meet a lot of cute guys. Just like "Sex and the City".
Marcus Burnett: Theresa, cancel the damn cable!
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
[Mike's way of saying I'm sorry]
Mike Lowery: It's a donut. It's a medical thing. I got it from a maternity store. You know, a lot of pregnant women use it. They can put one cheek here and take the pressure off the other. For you, dawg.
Marcus Burnett: Thoughtful.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Mike Lowery: [pretending to be drunk] *****, who is it at the door?
Marcus Burnett: It's Reggie!
Mike Lowery: Who the **** is Reggie?
Marcus Burnett: Came to take Megan out.
Mike Lowery: [to Reggie] What you want, *****?
Reggie: I'm here... to take his daughter out.
Mike Lowery: Mother****er, I heard the boy say your name Reggie? You wanna be takin' Megan out?
Reggie: Yes, sire?
Mike Lowery: How old is you?
Reggie: Fifteen.
Mike Lowery: ****, *****. You at least thirty.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Marcus Burnett: [opens his front door] Who the **** are you?
Reggie: I'm Reggie, Mr. Burnett
Marcus Burnett: How old are you?
Reggie: I'm fifteen, Mr. Burnett
Marcus Burnett: Mother****er, you look thirty.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Marcus Burnett: To the DEA you're nothing but a honeypot.
Syd: What did you say?
Marcus Burnett: It's no wonder you got the job because you look good in a bathing suit.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
[staring into the captain's fishbowl after ingesting X]
Marcus Burnett: This is a nice fish. Big ****in' eyes, but a nice ****in' fish.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Capt. Howard: 22 cars and a boat, totalled? How did hell you sink a boat?
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Marcus Burnett: Police! Pull over! Stop the car!
Mike Lowery: Not your badge, man! He has a gun, shoot him!
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
[after decimating the gang with gunfire]
Mike Lowery: Now show 'em your badge!
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Marcus Burnett: Damn, it's the niggras!
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
[Top of dead body's head falls off as Marcus touches it's mouth. Marcus is sick]
Mike Lowery: That's that bull****, that's that bull****.
Marcus Burnett: Mike, the mother****in head fell off!
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Mike Lowery: Rodney, I hear there's a boat on fire off the coast of Cuba.
Rodney: Don't you think we oughta break international waters to help them out?
Mike Lowery: That's my DAWG.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
[after Mike lifted the sheet covering the dead bimbo in the morgue]
Marcus Burnett: Mike, have some dignity!
Mike Lowery: What? I ain't doin' nothin'. What am I gonna do with these big-ass fake dead titties?
Marcus Burnett: But you're LOOKIN' at them.
Mike Lowery: There is something seriously wrong with your brain man
Marcus Burnett: Just cover up 'em titties.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
[Mike walks into the room, wearing a new purple suit]
Marcus Burnett: Are you a model or a cop?
Mike Lowery: Hey, man, I like lookin' good, that's all.
Marcus Burnett: For who?
Mike Lowery: Hey man, don't hate the playa, hate the game.
Marcus Burnett: Hate the tailor.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Mike Lowery: We got a tip that the Zopehounders were gonna do a hit on cash or drugs from this big time X-man.
Marcus Burnett: That's what they call an ecstasy dealer on the streets.
Capt. Howard: Marcus, I know what they call them. That's why I'm Captain.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
[Marcus interrogates a dead gang member]
Marcus Burnett: Hey look, man, can you tell me who was driving the black Suburban? Huh? Oh he don't know nothin'. His brains is under the end table.
[turns around to see another dead gang member]
Marcus Burnett: He can't tell us ****, Mike. He's all ****ed up.
Mike Lowery: What's your point?
Marcus Burnett: My point is that dead suspects can't say ****.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Marcus Burnett: My ass stills hurts from what you did to it the other night.
Mike Lowery: Hey, it got rough. We got caught up in the moment, **** got crazy. You know how I get.
Marcus Burnett: When you popped me from behind I think you damaged some nerves.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Marcus Burnett: Mike, I can't even get an erection. I tried taking Viagra. Popped one, popped two. I've been eating them like Skittles.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Mike Lowery: Ok look, we're a partnership, but we're a partnership with boundaries. We got a new rule. From now on you can't say the word flaccid to me. This is our little ?boundary box?. We're gonna take the word flaccid and put it in there with my mom's titties and your erection problem and we gonna close this box and we gonna throw this ***** in the ocean. And the only way that you can get to this box is you gotta be mother****in' Jacques Cousteau.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Blond Dread: Who that? Who in MY HOUSE?
Mike Lowery: I'm the Devil! Who's asking?
Blond Dread: The Devil... is not welcome... HEEEEEERRE!
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Marcus Burnett: [about Mike] Mother****er shot me in the ass, man.
Mike Lowery: Who shot you in the ass?
Marcus Burnett: Who? That "who" would be you.
Mike Lowery: Me? I shot you? I mean, I'm not saying I didn't shoot you. I did a lot of shooting. But I ain't saying I shot you in the ass...
[looks]
Mike Lowery: But damn! Somebody shot you in the ass!
Marcus Burnett: Tell me about it.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Mike Lowery: [a car flies over, nearly colliding with Mike's Ferrari] WHOOOOO, THAT one puckered up my butt-hole!
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Heavy Black Woman: [Screaming at store manager] You got porno and homo shows up in here in front of my babies? What kind of freak-ass store is this?
Heavy Black Woman: [to Mike and Marcus as they walk by] Hmm, and you two mutha****as need Jesus.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Mike Lowery: [in a stand off] A bullet in the head will really mess up your extensions!
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Mike Lowery: Vargas, we're not gonna make it to the tunnel! Go to Plan B! We're going to Plan B!
Marcus Burnett: What Plan B?
Mike Lowery: [pause] Man, you don't pay attention to ****, do you?
Syd: [as they start arguing in the middle of the gunfight] Are you ****ing ****ting me? LET'S GO!
Detective Mateo Reyes: [in the escape tunnel] Plan B? What the hell is Plan B?
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Marcus Burnett: [driving with Mike down a hill, through cocaine-processing shacks, in a stolen Humvee] Is this still plan B?
Mike Lowery: Naw, this is definitely plan C!
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
[Snell and his team wants to go to Cuba with Mike and Marcus]
DEA Snell: We don't know you, but you look like you're about to do something stupid. I'm in.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
[while driving across Tapia's estate in a stolen Humvee, being shot at by the Cuban Army]
Mike Lowery: Man, Plan B does not have that big-ass gun in it!
Marcus Burnett: You call this Plan B? What does Plan B stand for? Bull****!
Mike Lowery: Look, do you want to drive?
Marcus Burnett: Yeah, pull over by those mother****ers with the MACHINE GUN!
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
[Mike accidentally shot Marcus in the ass]
Detective Mateo Reyes: Yo Mike, why don't you just give it a little kiss? You know, make it feel better?
Detective Marco Vargas: Hey, just pretend we're not even here.
Marcus Burnett: Say, isn't Ricky Martin having a concert? Get the **** on!
Detective Mateo Reyes: You always gotta go racial, man.
Detective Marco Vargas: It's sad, man.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Mike Lowery: See, that's that new spiritual **** my partner's on. Me? I actually prefer shooting mother****ers.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Mike Lowery: Hey, isn't it low tide?
Marcus Burnett: Yes, I think it is.
Mike Lowery: Don't you have some relatives that you need to go pick up?
Detective Mateo Reyes: You went too far on that one.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
[Johnny has just shot his cousin Roberto - upon hearing the shot, Mama rushes out to the balcony overlooking the courtyard]
Donna Maria Tapia: What happened to Roberto?
Hector Juan Carlos 'Johnny' Tapia: He just killed himself, Mama.
Donna Maria Tapia: Ai!
Hector Juan Carlos 'Johnny' Tapia: Yes, very sad.
Donna Maria Tapia: You write his mother a nice letter.
[Johnny holds up his hands, one of which is still holding the gun he shot Roberto with]
Hector Juan Carlos 'Johnny' Tapia: I'll do it.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
[after discovering and subsequently shooting at rats nesting in stacks of his cash]
Hector Juan Carlos 'Johnny' Tapia: [sighs] Carlos, this is a stupid ****ing problem to have. But, it is a problem nonetheless.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
KKK Member #1: WHITE POWER!
KKK Member #2: WHITE POWER!
[Two of the guys in hoods whip them off, revealing Mike and Marcus, pointing guns at the Klan]
Mike Lowery: Blue power, mother****ers! Miami PD!
Marcus Burnett: Aw, damn! It's the niggras!
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Mike Lowery: [on hearing the repair bill for his Ferrari] TWENTY-ONE THOUSAND? Oh, kiss my black ass...!
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Casper: Your partner's a cocky ******!
Marcus Burnett: Oh damn, now was that necessary, sir? Can't he just be a cop? He got to be a ***** too?
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Reply With Quote
Originally Posted by richw131
.......1
