It ain't exactly a pool, man. It's like a big-ass puddle wrapped in blue plastic.

I can't believe you guys. Do you get up in the morning, call each other up, 'Good morning, Marcus. Good morning, Mike. How you doin'? Ai'ight. So how we going to **** up the captain's life today? Gee, I don't know. I don't know. Ooh, look. Over there. Let's kill three fat people and leave them on the street?'

Mike, you go to therapy to get your issues worked out, not bang your therapist.

Marcus Burnett: Mike, have some dignity!
Mike Lowery: What? I ain't doin' nothin'. What am I gonna do with these big-ass fake dead titties?
Marcus Burnett: But you're LOOKIN' at them.
Mike Lowery: There is something seriously wrong with your brain man
Marcus Burnett: Just cover up 'em titties.

Hey look, man, can you tell me who was driving the black Suburban? Huh? Oh he don't know nothin'. His brains is under the end table.