Who is the best poster here?

Bring me your alpha legend male and i will rip him to shreds with my superior postings. Small, agile fingers and incredibly wide peripheral vision makes me impossible to beat. I have been powning the interwebs for 10 whole months and have achieved a max level of 99, with profiency in archery and bo-staff! If there is anyone amongst you who feels he can match my keyboard speed and worldy asain wit, you have been challenged