Damn man, sorry to read about this. When I was 17, my biological dad committed suicide 3 weeks after he met me for the first time, It was really really difficult, and to this day I blame myself. Also, when I was 16, my best friend was murdered by a mutual friend of ours. I was two houses down at my g/f's and heard the gun shot. It's going to be tuff, but you have to be strong, and keep your head up. Surround yourself with the ones who matter most, and keep thinking about all the good memories. Enough with my rambling, i know how you feel, and what everyone close to him is going through......