Things to not say to a cop

[AnTi-PooN]

lol that sucks but atleast you're keeping your license

[JustinSane110™]

I have a few instances of what NOT to say to a cop, lol.


*cop walks up to the car*
Cop: "Do you know how fast you were going?"

Me: "About 35 or so"

Cop: "The speed limit on this road is 25"

Me: "You look kinda like Farva from Super Troopers..."

Yep, definitely got a ticket on that one...

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This happened one day when I had the Escalade, I was driving on the highway going about 10-15 over and decided to reach out and touch the side of a semi I was passing, cop pops out from traffic about 3 cars back and throws the lights on.

cop: "I'm not really sure, but it looked like you reached out and touched the side of that truck..."

me: "Really? I was just stretching, elbow felt a little tight..." (While I still had dirt on my hand from the side of the semi)

*cop looks in to see a movie playing on the headrest monitors, and the in-dash*

cop: "Nice truck, have a nice day..."

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Another time, same highway as the semi incident, Going about 97 in my Yukon, run right past a cop sitting there on the side of the road. catches up to me a little ways down the road.

Cop: "Where you going in such a hurry?"

Me: "Nowhere, just out driving..."

Cop: "I should write you a couple of tickets, but to be honest I really don't feel like doing the damn paperwork, slow it down next time!"

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Got pulled over doing 94 on 400 in the Cobra.

*Cop walks up with the radar gun out*

Cop: "I got you going 94, and believe it or not, you're not my fastest one today..."

Me: "Really, who beat me?"

Cop: "A Ford pickup..."

Me: "Damn, I gotta try harder next time"

Cop: "Where are you heading in such a hurry?"

Me: "Actually sir, I was qualifying..."

Cop: "Qualifying?"

Me: "Yep, for the Atlanta 500..."

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When I wrecked the Cobra.

*Bigass overcompensating cop shows up to the scene after all the other cops have everything sorted out*

Cop: "Who was driving this car!?!"

Me: "Well, you see, I was driving it up until the point where the skidmarks start, then it drove itself to where you see it now..."

Cop: "Get over there and sit on the curb"

*cop walks over with handcuffs out, and I go in for wreckless driving*

Couple hours later at the Gwinnett Det. Center while I'm being checked and patted down by the cops.

Cop: "You dont have anything you're gonna stab me, shoot me, or blow me up with, do you??"

Me: "Not unless my ****in shorts are gonna explode..."

Cop: "We dont appreciate sarcasm here sir..."