Top 10 Signs that you're a Dumb@ss Atheist

[Vayda]

I'm not an athiest, but i like playing devil's advocate too

Top Ten Signs you're a Dumb@ss Atheist

10. You vigorously deny the existence of God, yet you frequently blame him for everything that is wrong in modern society.

And you frequently expound on his existance, yet have no explanation for why bad things happen.

9. You repeatedly insist that man did not, in fact, evolve from an ape. Apes and men both evolved from another species who did not resemble Curious George in any way.

Um....that IS the theory...so...grats, you learned something today.

8. You criticize Christians who don't know their Bible, yet you have never opened any of Darwin's texts.

That's because Christians have only one argument: the Bible. Athiests, on the other hand, have thousands of sources, and can argue just as well without reading Darwin (who was terribly dry.)

7. While all created evidence and reasoning point to a Creator and absolute truth, you prefer to hide behind relativism and a theory of evolution which does not, in fact, describe the creation of the universe at all.

Yeah. All the evidence you CREATED does point to it. The evidence in the real world, however, points to you being the moron.

6. You can't seem to understand the fundamental differences between fundamental Muslims and fundamental Christians (hint: strap-on TNT)

Yes!! That is so true!! Fundy Christians don't get killed by the bombs they throw on abortion clinics. At least the Muslims take themselves out with it. (Hint: that's darwinism)

5. You willingly attribute all historical atrocities in Europe to a demographic that contained approximately 100% of Europeans during the period in question.

I thought we were talking about Athiesm?

4. You also like to ignore the beneficial discoveries of the aforementioned demographic.

I thought we were still talking about athiesm? Correct me if i'm wrong here, i just didnt get the joke.

3. You don't realize that a closed system can be defined however the observer wants, so you throw out technological phrases to try to ignore the implications of thermodynamics.

implications of thermodynamics? WTF? "The relationship between heat and other properties"....Yeah, but we're the ones that just throw around random big words.

2. You accuse Christians of being hateful and you hope that they DIAF.

We also accuse them of not understanding the concept of irony.

1. Your biggest complaint is that these typically hopeful and caring people want to share the greatest single thing in their life with you. You're like an idiot who wipes with winning lottery tickets.

The greatest single thing in my life is extreme gay sex, preferably with some heroine, cocaine, or at the very least, a total lack of protection. Can i share THAT with you??