Top 10 Signs that you're a Dumb@ss Atheist

[Ran]

I'm actually agnostic myself. I just felt like playing Devil's Advocate considering all the anti-religion threads that get posted.

Top Ten Signs you're a Dumb@ss Atheist

10. You vigorously deny the existence of God, yet you frequently blame him for everything that is wrong in modern society.
9. You repeatedly insist that man did not, in fact, evolve from an ape. Apes and men both evolved from another species who did not resemble Curious George in any way.
8. You criticize Christians who don't know their Bible, yet you have never opened any of Darwin's texts.
7. While all created evidence and reasoning point to a Creator and absolute truth, you prefer to hide behind relativism and a theory of evolution which does not, in fact, describe the creation of the universe at all.
6. You can't seem to understand the fundamental differences between fundamental Muslims and fundamental Christians (hint: strap-on TNT)
5. You willingly attribute all historical atrocities in Europe to a demographic that contained approximately 100% of Europeans during the period in question.
4. You also like to ignore the beneficial discoveries of the aforementioned demographic.
3. You don't realize that a closed system can be defined however the observer wants, so you throw out technological phrases to try to ignore the implications of thermodynamics.
2. You accuse Christians of being hateful and you hope that they DIAF.
1. Your biggest complaint is that these typically hopeful and caring people want to share the greatest single thing in their life with you. You're like an idiot who wipes with winning lottery tickets.

[Crazy Asian]

BAHAHAHAH RAN!!!

[Sammich]

this could get serious

[collins]

lol kinda funny

[soul]

lol ++reps funny

[stillaneon]

so I guess the question is do you believe there is such thing as an intelligent Atheist

[Spectic Tank]

7. While all created evidence and reasoning point to a Creator and absolute truth, you prefer to hide behind relativism and a theory of evolution which does not, in fact, describe the creation of the universe at all.

LOL...created evidence

I guess if you don't have any real evidence just create some.

[Ran]

LOL...created evidence

I guess if you don't have any real evidence just create some.

I think they were referring to "physical" evidence but used the word "created" in relation to a creator, a.k.a. God.

[Spectic Tank]

I think they were referring to "physical" evidence but used the word "created" in relation to a creator, a.k.a. God.

Those silly Christians....

If God created the world did he also create the fossils? Or was that Satan up to his usual tricks?

[soul]

LOL...created evidence

I guess if you don't have any real evidence just create some.

E=mc²........

[Ran]

Those silly Christians....

If God created the world did he also create the fossils? Or was that Satan up to his usual tricks?

Satan is one sneaky b@stard. Trust nothing!

[Spectic Tank]

Satan is one sneaky b@stard. Trust nothing!

OMGNOEZZZ!!!

[Kamikaze]

The way I look at it is, I'd rather believe in God and be wrong, than not to believe in anything and have no chance at an afterlife.

Those silly Christians....

If God created the world did he also create the fossils? Or was that Satan up to his usual tricks?

Fossils of what? Dinosaurs? So you don't think God could have created dinosaurs? I mean, if anything dies in the right place at the right time it can become fossilized.

[Ran]

Fossils of what? Dinosaurs? So you don't think God could have created dinosaurs? I mean, if anything dies in the right place at the right time it can become fossilized.

Dinosaurs were the blueprint for humans.

"Well now, this isn't quite working out." - God

He then proceeded to destroy the world with a meteor and go through the seven days (figurative days, not actual) of creation bringing together mammals, man, and a magical tree with celestial knowledge.

[stillaneon]

OMG, I think they may have been joking. The thing that pisses me off more about the Christian outlook is how bent out of shape they get when you question something (or make a joke) but yet you can bash an Atheist's beliefs (or lack thereof) and its ok. Why is there a double standard? Just like KAmikaze^^^ who, by his phrasing, seems to be about ready to cry because he thinks you said god cant make fossils....

[Kamikaze]

Dinosaurs were the blueprint for humans.

"Well now, this isn't quite working out." - God

He then proceeded to destroy the world with a meteor and go through the seven days (figurative days, not actual) of creation bringing together mammals, man, and a magical tree with celestial knowledge.

Anything's possible. I didn't get the memo so I was unable to attend the event.

[stillaneon]

Wait, God went throught the 7 days again? Was that before or after the tree of knowledge??

[Spectic Tank]

The way I look at it is, I'd rather believe in God and be wrong, than not to believe in anything and have no chance at an afterlife.

Just because you don't believe in Christianity/Bible doesn't mean you don't believe in god. And may I ask why you chose Christiantity as your religion? what appeals tou about christianity that isn't found in other organized religion?

Fossils of what? Dinosaurs? So you don't think God could have created dinosaurs? I mean, if anything dies in the right place at the right time it can become fossilized.

I never said he couldn't have created them, I just don't remember reading about them in the bible. I don't claim to be an expert on the bible so maybe I missed something.

[Ran]

Wait, God went throught the 7 days again? Was that before or after the tree of knowledge??

Before. Dinosaurs were, more or less, the rough draft for our modern world. It's not included in the Bible because, well, you don't submit your rough draft with your final work now do you?

[Kamikaze]

OMG, I think they may have been joking. The thing that pisses me off more about the Christian outlook is how bent out of shape they get when you question something (or make a joke) but yet you can bash an Atheist's beliefs (or lack thereof) and its ok. Why is there a double standard? Just like KAmikaze^^^ who, by his phrasing, seems to be about ready to cry because he thinks you said god cant make fossils....

LOL who's crying? I was simply interjecting my opinion just as I, and everyone else, am entitled to do. You seem to be the one getting all bent out of shape, all poised and ready to attack. Do you feel threatened by me or something?

I really couldn't care less about you and what you believe. And I really mean that. I was just hoping for an intelligent debate, but I can see that's not possible. I forgot what site I am on. Silly me.

[stillaneon]

Well I just thought that maybe the dinosaurs were part of the 7 days. I think its kinda silly to think that the 7 days in the beginning were literal. you may but I would assume that it was 7 days figuratively. Especially since a day then wouldnt have existed considering god didnt make the heavens and the earth until the second day. What was the break? How did he know it was day 2?

[stillaneon]

You honestly dont want to debate with me... I posted on this thread knowing that I will be hit with a lot of **** for being Atheist. I always have been. But like I said, Its a huge double standard. you can say im wrong, and its ok. but I say your wrong and I am unintelligent...... makes since.. completely

[Spectic Tank]

Before. Dinosaurs were, more or less, the rough draft for our modern world. It's not included in the Bible because, well, you don't submit your rough draft with your final work now do you?

And how do you know this if it isn't in the bible? I thought on the first day of creation god said "let their be light". Did Dinosaurs live in darkness? (or maybe their like cats and have really good night vision).

[stillaneon]

...

[Ran]

And how do you know this if it isn't in the bible? I thought on the first day of creation god said "let their be light". Did Dinosaurs live in darkness? (or maybe their like cats and have really good night vision).

God inspired insight? I dunno. I'm just throwing sh*t out there to put fuel on the fire. I'm not a fan of organized religion, but I also think that being a complete atheist is just ignorance of the unknown. Watching the two extremes argue back and forth is always fun though.

[stillaneon]

but isnt that what religion is? A way to explain the unexplainable. people dont like not knowing and it gives them security without proof. Isnt that Naive??

[Kamikaze]

You honestly dont want to debate with me... I posted on this thread knowing that I will be hit with a lot of **** for being Atheist. I always have been. But like I said, Its a huge double standard. you can say im wrong, and its ok. but I say your wrong and I am unintelligent...... makes since.. completely

Read the following very carefully:

I don't care what you believe.

Really dude, you can believe what you want. I don't care. However, don't try and attack me just because I don't agree with you. And you tried to call me out on a double standard? Obviously, you did not read my statement correctly. I said, I (as in me) would rather be wrong about believing in God and have a 50% chance of an afterlife than to not believe in anything (which goes for all religions) and have 0%. That's just my own personal outlook on things. I'm not saying anyone has to agree with me, but it's not like I give a **** whether they do or not.

[Spectic Tank]

God inspired insight? I dunno. I'm just throwing sh*t out there to put fuel on the fire. I'm not a fan of organized religion, but I also think that being a complete atheist is just ignorance of the unknown. Watching the two extremes argue back and forth is always fun though.

LoL...I know. I'm doing the same as well. I think anyone who is ABSOLUTELY sure of how the world was created or what lies in the after life is full of **** though. Believe what you want (and I respect that), but to live inside a shell where anything that goes against your beliefs is automatically thrown out is ignorant, but makes for entertaining threads and allows the time at work to pass much quicker.

[civic95]

Jesus would not approve of this post. Go eat some crackers (pretending it's his flesh), and wash them down with wine (pretending it's his blood). Ask for his forgiveness. We don't want you to be stuck here with us on 12/12/2012 at 12:12pm.

[Ran]

We should all just believe in the Flying Spaghetti Monster and call it a day.

Google that story if you want. It's pretty funny actually.

[Kamikaze]

God inspired insight? I dunno. I'm just throwing sh*t out there to put fuel on the fire. I'm not a fan of organized religion, but I also think that being a complete atheist is just ignorance of the unknown. Watching the two extremes argue back and forth is always fun though.

LoL...I know. I'm doing the same as well. I think anyone who is ABSOLUTELY sure of how the world was created or what lies in the after life is full of **** though. Believe what you want (and I respect that), but to live inside a shell where anything that goes against your beliefs is automatically thrown out is ignorant, but makes for entertaining threads and allows the time at work to pass much quicker.

These are two statements that I can actually respect. Maybe all hope isn't lost when it comes to intelligent debate on IA.

[civic95]

We should all just believe in the Flying Spaghetti Monster and call it a day.

Google that story if you want. It's pretty funny actually.

I used to be a member, but my gf was a Church of Jedi member. So I converted

http://www.jedichurch.com/

[ubers2k]

I'm a Christian, true, but I'm not a leg-humper with the religion. I don't really believe in organized religion. I think it's a joke. My grandmother is the one that turned me off of that, actually. Damn Seventh Day Adventist "cult" members.

Anyway, I'm gonna have to agree with Kamikaze on the whole atheists and everyone doing what they want in the religion area. Believe what you want. Yes, some of the hardcore religious people are gonna bash believing in nothing or something not of the Christian belief/faith, but it's a choice that you as an person can make.

180inprogress, it seems like you honestly don't like being told that atheism is wrong. Nobody here said that, and I really don't think anyone here gives a **** if you are or are not atheist. If anything, the initial post was more of a joke than anything else. You can believe what you want about the Christian faith, or any other one for that matter. Not a single person is going to stop you.

Oh, and organized religion is a joke, really.

[bu villain]

I said, I (as in me) would rather be wrong about believing in God and have a 50% chance of an afterlife than to not believe in anything (which goes for all religions) and have 0%.

1. What if there is a God and he doesn't care whether you believe in him or not?
2. What if there is a God but you believe in the wrong one? (he doesn't mind non believers but hates when you believe in the wrong God).
3. What if there are multiple Gods and it pisses them off when you say there is only one?

If you take into account all the possibilities, there is no reason to think your any better off believing than not believing. I am an atheist not because I choose to be, but because I see no choice given the information I have. I couldn't wake up tomorrow and decide to believe in the tooth fairy, could you?

[Kamikaze]

1. What if there is a God and he doesn't care whether you believe in him or not?
2. What if there is a God but you believe in the wrong one? (he doesn't mind non believers but hates when you believe in the wrong God).
3. What if there are multiple Gods and it pisses them off when you say there is only one?

If you take into account all the possibilities, there is no reason to think your any better off believing than not believing. I am an atheist not because I choose to be, but because I see no choice given the information I have. I couldn't wake up tomorrow and decide to believe in the tooth fairy, could you?

Like I've said repeatedly, you're entitled to your opinion. But at the end of the day, what you think isn't going to change my mind and I'm not trying to change yours.

[Mach1DrmGrl]

I don't believe in the bible, cause it's a man-made book

I don't believe in going to church, cause it's a man-made building.

I believe in what I feel in my heart, not what people preach.

[soul]

New age.....

[YoungGun]

I'm a Christian and believe what I believe for my own reasons. I've researched different religions, gone to different churches, read different books, etc... I don't believe exactly what my parents believe cause its comfortable or cause I grew up in it. Are there flaws to religion... yes but there are flaws in science too. Is there evolution.... yes but its micro evolution and never macro evolution. If all evolved through micro there would be a complete fossil record with every parent generation filled in. Macro evolution is not physically possible even according to science. Does believing in creation take faith... yes but so does believing in evolution. Can I explain every single possible question.... not a chance nor will I try. I made my decision based on evidence I gathered for a number of years not out of the blue. Hell even Darwin himself said evolution as a full theory was a croc of ****.

[Magnus213]

Pretty weak list. Believe whatever you'd like, though.

[Kelly]

Dinosaurs were the blueprint for humans.

"Well now, this isn't quite working out." - God

He then proceeded to destroy the world with a meteor and go through the seven days (figurative days, not actual) of creation bringing together mammals, man, and a magical tree with celestial knowledge.

OR He could've flooded it... Noah to the rescue!!!