((((RING))))
((((RING))))
**Pick Up**

"Hello?"

"Hi honey, this is Daddy, Is Mommy near the phone?"

"No Daddy, She's upstairs in the bedroom with Uncle Paul "

After a brief pause, Daddy says, "But honey, you haven't got an Uncle
Paul "

"Oh yes I do, and he's upstairs in the room with Mommy, right now"

Brief Pause

"Uh, okay then, ...this is what I want you to do.
Put the phone down on the table, run upstairs and knock on the bedroom
door, and shout to Mommy that Daddy's car just pulled into the
driveway"

"Okay Daddy, just a minute"

A few minutes later the little girl comes back to the phone.

"I did it Daddy"

"And what happened honey?" he asked

"Well, Mommy got all scared, jumped out of bed with
no clothes on and ran around screaming. Then she tripped over the rug,
hit her head on the dresser and now she isn't moving at all!"

"Oh my God!!! What about your Uncle Paul ?"

"He jumped out of the bed with no clothes on too. He
was all scared and he jumped out of the back window and into the
swimming pool. But I guess he didn't know that you took out the water
last week to clean it. he hit the bottom of the pool and I think he's
dead"

***Long Pause***

***Longer Pause**

Then Daddy says, "Swimming pool??"... Is this 486 -5731 ??




Thuh Girls night out...

Two women friends had gone for a girl's night out. Both were very faithful and loving wives, however, they had gotten over-enthusiastic on the Bacardi Breezers. Incredibly drunk and walking home they needed to pee, so they stopped in the cemetery.



One of them had nothing to wipe with so she thought she would take off her panties and use them. Her friend however was wearing a rather expensive pair of panties and did not want to ruin them.

She was lucky enough to squat down next to a grave that had a wreath with a ribbon on it, so she proceeded to wipe with that.

After the girls did their business they proceeded to go home.

The next day one of the women's husbands was concerned that his normally sweet and innocent wife was still in bed hung over, so he phoned the other husband and said, "These girl nights have got to stop! I'm starting to suspect the worst.. my wife came home with no panties!!"

"That's nothing" said the other husband, "Mine came back with a card stuck to her ass that said.....

'From all of us at the Fire Station. We'll never forget you.'