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Thread: Why I fired my secretary....

  1. #1
    The One and Only Nemesis's Avatar
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    Default Why I fired my secretary....

    Why I fired my Secretary

    Last week was my birthday
    and I didn't feel very well
    waking up on that morning.

    I went downstairs for breakfast
    hoping my wife would be pleasant and say,
    "Happy Birthday!",
    and possibly have a small present for me.

    ________________________________


    As it turned out,
    she barely said good morning,
    let alone
    "Happy Birthday."

    I thought...
    Well,
    that's marriage for you,
    but the kids....
    They will remember.

    My kids came bouncing down stairs to breakfast
    and didn't say a word.
    So when I left for the office,
    I felt pretty low
    and somewhat despondent.

    As I walked into my office,
    my secretary Jane said,
    "G ood Morning Boss,
    and by the way
    Happy Birthday ! "
    It felt a little better
    that at least someone had remembered.

    I worked until one o'clock ,
    when Jane knocked on my door
    and said, "You know,
    It's such a beautiful day outside,
    and it is your Birthday,
    what do you say we go out to lunch,
    just you and me."
    I said, "Thanks, Jane,
    that's the greatest thing
    I've heard all day.
    Let's go !"

    We went to lunch.
    But we didn't go
    where we normally would go.
    She chose instead at a quiet bistro
    with a private table.
    We had two martinis each
    and I enjoyed the meal tremendously.

    On the way back to the office,
    Jane said, "You know,
    It's such a beau t iful day...
    We don't need to go straight back to the office,
    Do We ?"

    I responded,
    "I guess not.
    What do you have in mind ?"
    She said,
    "Let's drop by my apartment, it's just around the corner."

    After arriving at her apartment,
    Jane turned to me and said,
    "Boss, if you don't mind,
    I'm going to step into the bedroom
    for just a moment.
    I'll be right back."

    "Ok." I nervously replied.

    She went into the bedroom and,
    after a couple of minutes,
    she came out
    carrying a huge birthday cake . ..
    Followed
    by my wife,
    my kids,
    and dozens of my friends
    and co-workers,
    all singing 'Happy Birthday'.

    And I just sat there...

    On the couch...

    Naked.

  2. #2
    I haz a big banana Jason..'s Avatar
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    ooooooooooooo **** funny stuff
    Jason..

  3. #3
    AmbitiousButRubbish EJ25RUN's Avatar
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    did this really happen?

  4. #4
    Here and there Hulud's Avatar
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    haha pwnt
    Val for President


  5. #5
    DBlock
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    HELLZ NAH!!!!!!! .....repz!!!!!.......1

  6. #6
    Here and there Hulud's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by EJ25RUN
    did this really happen?
    i hope you are joking
    Val for President


  7. #7
    sukanigadikosum DieselNuts's Avatar
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    lol, I heard that one before but it still made me lol.

  8. #8
    AmbitiousButRubbish EJ25RUN's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Hulud
    i hope you are joking
    i had something siilar happen to me...except no kids, no wife, just good ending

  9. #9
    th3 d1ab3t1c integraguy06's Avatar
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    thats great!!!!!!!!!!
    98 Honda Civic Ex. Work in progress...

  10. #10
    IA's Slowest V6 AlanŽ's Avatar
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    funniest **** i have read all day reps
    Quote Originally Posted by AlanŽ
    Nah not even. theres not enough alcohol on the planet that would convince me to bang that chick.I wouldn't hit that with Magic Johnson's dick.....on second thought
    Epic Foxbody Thread Crew Member #10

  11. #11
    IA's MIA'r Sammich's Avatar
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    thread sux...



    Quote Originally Posted by Sinfix_15 View Post
    You travel with so much luggage that it wont fit in a wagon? you dating a kardashian?

  12. #12
    Here and there Hulud's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by phatboislim
    thread sux...
    /\/\/\
    the reason why
    Val for President


  13. #13
    IA's MIA'r Sammich's Avatar
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    forget you hoodrat



    Quote Originally Posted by Sinfix_15 View Post
    You travel with so much luggage that it wont fit in a wagon? you dating a kardashian?

  14. #14
    Here and there Hulud's Avatar
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    jealous much? lol
    Val for President


  15. #15
    IA's MIA'r Sammich's Avatar
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    ALOT...i still wish to be a hoodrat...but i fail much



    Quote Originally Posted by Sinfix_15 View Post
    You travel with so much luggage that it wont fit in a wagon? you dating a kardashian?

  16. #16
    Here and there Hulud's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by phatboislim
    ALOT...i still wish to be a hoodrat...but i fail much
    lol
    Val for President


  17. #17
    The Thread Reaper.. The Ninja's Avatar
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    Lol, good laugh.

  18. #18
    a tru OG,.. ask somebody
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    i read a repost
    Jimmy Blair II
    www.Pinnacleracing.com
    01 Tahoe w/ 'sclade stuff
    99 Grand Cherokee

  19. #19
    Still Here LQQKITZME's Avatar
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    Yeah it was a repost but still funny
    View the world through a dogs eyes, if you can't screw it or eat it, pi$$ on it and walk away.

  20. #20
    I've got a job... Killer's Avatar
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    repost for sure....

  21. #21
    Supra Equipped WhiteAccord's Avatar
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    Still funny....+ whatever.

  22. #22
    Kinda lame IRL isa2o3's Avatar
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    Default

    lol

  23. #23
    Senior Member | IA Veteran Slow Motion's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by EJ25RUN
    did this really happen?
    Nemesis isn't married com'on

    That is some funny shiot though....lirl.


    Shits real out here. You betta keep a strap and learn somethin'
    .




  24. #24
    v2.0 IndianStig's Avatar
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    OWNAGE. Thats hilarious.

  25. #25
    Public Enemy #1
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    the worst part about this thread is that you beat brett to a seriously OLD repost! i mean this has been posted probably a few hundred times on here and brett has yet to repost it so!

  26. #26
    rubbin' daily HeLLo iM iZzY's Avatar
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    still funnayy to meehhhhh !
    BUY MY HATCH <--click the link, cuz.

  27. #27
    Im French! Frög's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by EJ25RUN
    did this really happen?


    hahahahahhahahahahahahah!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!




    have you seen nemisis? lol j/k

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