So im killing some kittens....

[BKgen®]

I'm ****ing laughing so hard right now it's almost impossible to type this...

So after watching a few Alison Angel movies I get the urge to go on a kitten-killing spree. Open up a Masuimi Max vid and a few Naughty America flicks I dl'd. Also got a Naomi vid open.

Ready for business.

Fappin's away, kittens are dying mercilessly.

Gettin' ready to kill 'em all off and....

CRAMP

At the exact instant I'm stroking the death blow, my right leg cramps up. BAD. Possibly the worst leg cramp I've ever had in my life. So much pain. So much horror. So much...

I guess the instant pain from the cramp made me flex every muscle in my body. I musta shot about 6 feet in the air. Missed my face by inches. ****in' **** landed all over the place. Hit the top of my head, landed in my birthday cake, hit my mouse, laptop, ****ing everything. It was like gooey, kitten-death-filled rain.

But I can't move to do anything about it.

I'm in agonizing pain. I'm moaning like a 2 dollar hooker taking 3 ****s at once. I was REALLY loud. So loud, in fact, that one of the hotel workers knocked on the door. I was in too much pain to tell them to go away. I mean, I'm really ****ing howling.

So this mutha****a decides to open the damn door to see what's going on.

There's ****ing fap juice EVERYWHERE. I can't move. My tube steak is still in my hand. My shorts are at my ankles. WTF.

I'm really trying to get the words "GO THE **** AWAY" out, but I sounded like a retard with a mouth full of peanut butter.

The door opens.

IT'S A CHICK.



I don't even know what to type anymore. I can't imagine what she was thinking. All I remember was the look on her face... PRICELESS. It almost made my pain worth it. It was the craziest looking O face in the history of mankind. She froze in place for what felt like 10 minutes (more like 10 seconds though). Then, I swear on my sack...



She did that, exactly. I lol'd in between my yelps of pain. It made the leg cramp so worth it.

FOOTNOTES:
I fapped
I got leg cramp
I flung it everywhere, including my head and b-day cake
Immense pain
Hotel worker chick walks in


Kittens - 1/ZeD - 0

and people wonder why the WL is so f*cking lame these days...

[magneto198]

hmmmm...kittens

[TheDarkRacer]

hahaha, that made me rofl.... +1 for gettn busted and being able to laugh about it and then post it on the net...

["B"]

Perfect opportunity to score, and you **** it up. What a punk *****!!!

[Jecht]

Perfect opportunity to score, and you **** it up. What a punk *****!!!

Exactly what I was thinking. He should have asked if she wanted to help.

["B"]

**** "asking" for help. She is the maid, she is there to "help" anyway she can.

[Jecht]

**** "asking" for help. She is the maid, she is there to "help" anyway she can.

True.

["B"]

I know. I am wise.

[hondachik]

so...who is going to clean everything up?

you? or are u calling the housemaid chick in telling her u need her help?

[ZeD]

so...who is going to clean everything up?

you? or are u calling the housemaid chick in telling her u need her help?

LOL she wasn't attractive or believe me i would have made her help.. :]

[Magnus213]

I call BS on this story. It's just like those stories that circulate about the epic shats on the toilets and such, not to mention that the writing style isn't consistent with OP. Far too ridiculous to be true anyway.

[ZeD]

I call BS on this story. It's just like those stories that circulate about the epic shats on the toilets and such, not to mention that the writing style isn't consistent with OP. Far too ridiculous to be true anyway.

you must know me oh so well to dictate my story telling ways. im glad you're here to clerify everything.

[Magnus213]

you must know me oh so well to dictate my story telling ways. im glad you're here to clerify everything.

Not dictating bud, just observing.

[ZeD]

Not dictating bud, just observing.

my mistake "bud"