This right here creates holes in the universe

[coolcat]

[OCT-TAY-VIA][CAMBRIDGE.][DIGGIN DAT SPECIAL *****] ALLOW ME 2 IINTRODUCE MAH SELF!!**II GOT BY DA NAME OF [[OCT.:.VIA]]* ALSO KNOWN ASZ TAY-TAY DIISZ LIIL MAMASZ BEEN BREAKIIN NECKSZ SIINCE 92 II'M [[1]]GUN[[5]]BULLETSZS YEARSZ YUNG YA DIIGG.SO0O IIF UR CUMIIN 2 MY PAGE 2 START SHIIT CLIICK DA [[X]] AT DA TOP OF MAH PAGE CUZ BIITCH II AIINT DA 1 TOO FUCC WIIT SO DUN'T PLAY WIIT ME ?? IIF II HAPPEN 2 DIISLIIKE LIIKE U II WIILL TELL U STRIIGHT UP. II RELLII DUN GIIVE A FUCC WUT PPL THIINK OF ME IMMA JUTSZ DO ME (::YOU HEAR ME: PEOPLE THIINK DIISZ SHAWTYSZ CONCIITED NAHH B JUSZ HAPPIILY CONFIIDENT=)! IM * A BIITCH AT TYMESZ* *PIICTURE FEIIN* *MUSIIC FEIIN* **DIISZ LIIL SHWATYSZ FLAVA IISZ MIIXED TRINI N BLACK)! II ONLY ROCKSZ WIIT DUH BEST SO0O JU KNO WUT IIT IIS MAYNE!! GET WIIT IIT OR GET LOST (IIT ISZ WAT IIT IISZ) AYO DISZ MAMII RIITE HEA GOTSZZ *MAD* GROUPIIESZ ON HA JOCK IIF U WANNA ROLL WIIT DUH *GOONIEESZ* DEN U KNO WUT 2 DO SHOW SUM LUVV!! CHEAA II GOTSZ A S/N IIF U WANT IIT HIIT ME UP IIN A MESSAGE WELL YALL KNO ENOUGH IISH. ABOUT YA GURL IIF DERSZZ ANYTHIIN ELSE DAT U WANNA KNO DEN ASK ABOUT ME (::YOU HEAR ME:BANG BANG SKEET SKEET NIGKAH ! I'M OFF DISZ...


Basically my lyfe rite here, yo.

[Magnus213]

[OCT-TAY-VIA][CAMBRIDGE.][DIGGIN DAT SPECIAL *****] ALLOW ME 2 IINTRODUCE MAH SELF!!**II GOT BY DA NAME OF [[OCT.:.VIA]]* ALSO KNOWN ASZ TAY-TAY DIISZ LIIL MAMASZ BEEN BREAKIIN NECKSZ SIINCE 92 II'M [[1]]GUN[[5]]BULLETSZS YEARSZ YUNG YA DIIGG.SO0O IIF UR CUMIIN 2 MY PAGE 2 START SHIIT CLIICK DA [[X]] AT DA TOP OF MAH PAGE CUZ BIITCH II AIINT DA 1 TOO FUCC WIIT SO DUN'T PLAY WIIT ME ?? IIF II HAPPEN 2 DIISLIIKE LIIKE U II WIILL TELL U STRIIGHT UP. II RELLII DUN GIIVE A FUCC WUT PPL THIINK OF ME IMMA JUTSZ DO ME (::YOU HEAR ME: PEOPLE THIINK DIISZ SHAWTYSZ CONCIITED NAHH B JUSZ HAPPIILY CONFIIDENT=)! IM * A BIITCH AT TYMESZ* *PIICTURE FEIIN* *MUSIIC FEIIN* **DIISZ LIIL SHWATYSZ FLAVA IISZ MIIXED TRINI N BLACK)! II ONLY ROCKSZ WIIT DUH BEST SO0O JU KNO WUT IIT IIS MAYNE!! GET WIIT IIT OR GET LOST (IIT ISZ WAT IIT IISZ) AYO DISZ MAMII RIITE HEA GOTSZZ *MAD* GROUPIIESZ ON HA JOCK IIF U WANNA ROLL WIIT DUH *GOONIEESZ* DEN U KNO WUT 2 DO SHOW SUM LUVV!! CHEAA II GOTSZ A S/N IIF U WANT IIT HIIT ME UP IIN A MESSAGE WELL YALL KNO ENOUGH IISH. ABOUT YA GURL IIF DERSZZ ANYTHIIN ELSE DAT U WANNA KNO DEN ASK ABOUT ME (::YOU HEAR ME:BANG BANG SKEET SKEET NIGKAH ! I'M OFF DISZ...


Basically my lyfe rite here, yo.

I am seriously incapable of reading it. I get through two words, then I physically cannot continue. Damn. I'll try hard... let's get a translation...

"Digging that special African American gentlemen. Allow me to introduce myself. I go(t) by the name of Octavia [?]. Also known as Tay-tay, this little mama has been breaking necks since '92. I am 1 gun 5 bullets years young, you dig? So if you're coming to my page to start feces, click the (X) at the top of my page because female dog, I ain't the one to procreate with so don't play with me? If I happen to dislike you, I will tell you straight up. I don't really give a sexual encounter what people think of me; I'm going to just do myself. You hear me. People think this shawty's conceited; nah, B- I am just happily confident. I'm a female dog at times. Picture fine [??]. Music fine. This little shawty's flavor is mixed, trinidadian and black. I only rock with the best, so just know it is, man. Get it, or get lost (it is what it is) ay- this mommie right here's got *angry* groupies on her jock [what?] if you want to roll with the *goonies*. Then you know what to do, show some love! Yes, I've got a screen name; if you want it, hit me up in a message, well you all know enough stuff. About your girl, if there's anything else that you want to know, then ask about me. You hear me. Bang bang, skeet skeet, African American gentleman. I am off of this."

That took me like twenty minutes of strong concentration.