Birth Control for 11 yr olds

[Jaimecbr900]

Yep, heard about it on the news this morning. Some school system somewhere, can't remember where but I'll look it up, is proposing making birth control available WITHOUT parental consent to Middle Schoolers.

Personally, I'm torn on this issue. Being the father of a Middle Schooler girl and being around lots and lots of Middle School young ladies (my wife is the head of Cheerleading for the 8th grade this year) I'm personally torn on this issue.

On one hand, I KNOW for a fact that some wayyyyy too young girls are in fact sexually active. My daughter and I have very clear channels of communication so we talk about this often. She tells me about some of the girls she knows that are sexually active already. We all know and read about teens and pre-teens having babies all the time too. I do volunteer work with the Gwinnett Co. Juvenile court and I can tell yall from first hand experience that some of the most horrific cases of child abuse and neglect seem to start with unwanted pregnancies/children. For this reason, I'd say it may be an idea to keep unwanted pregnancies from happening in the first place.

Now, on the other hand, I also think that sex education and morals are the responsability of the parents in their home. We all know that at 13 we didn't know shiet from shinola, right? So, what's going to happen when a 11-13 yr old THINKS that by simply taking a little pill they are "protected"? Are we going to see a huge spike in STD's and promiscuity?

Discuss.

[Stormhammer]

Hmm... I think that the option of the pill being available to those who are sexually active is to a point a wise choice. If morals were instilled in both a male or female, then they would never have to think about that option because sex wouldn't be an ideal for them to consider that option, but for those who unfortunately become sexually active at that young age, well... as much as it disturbs me to say it, but I would much rather still see sexually active middle schoolers having protected safe sex than to get pregnant

On a side note, props to you for having a very good parent to child communication - its not something you can find too often

[WickedIXMR]

WOW. Thats freaking crazy and very stupid. I cant believe the world now and days...

[KPowerEP3]

I think it's a horrible idea, really.

It goes back to the fact that PARENTS need to be PARENTS, not rely upon someone else to do so for them. All this is doing, IMO, is promoting promiscuity and sexual activity among an age group that has NO business whatsoever being sexually active. Of course, like you said, you do hear of quite a few cases where it's too late to prevent it, and with the situation like it is in many homes, many parents and families either can't or won't put a stop to it.

I also feel that if they so choose to put themselves in said situation, they should either accept the risks like a more mature person would, or go through the proper channels with their parents. I agree, too, with the fact that this opens up the STD issue, with them not being educated in the matter you're right, I think we would see a lot of cases of middle school aged girls with STDs, and they think that because they're on the pill, it's the end-all be-all protector from everything.

[Nemesis]

Im all for it...less for me to worry about!

[Hundo®]

good idea, too many dirty skanks having ****ing kids at 14-15-16.. it's disgusting. at least this could prevent lives from being ruined. kids are afraid to ask their parents for birth control, especially that young, if you can just go get it, i think it'll be better.. hopefully it doesn't cause more sexual activity though, just keeps things safer, baby wise ;\.


on the other hand it could promote too much promiscuous behavior thus leading to a wider spread of STD if the girls/boys decide to go out of their age group.. which would be a disaster..

[Sammich]

it is a touchy situation, but i see it as the parents responsibility to handle this, not the school

[Jaimecbr900]

I have to say that I'm actually surprised at the responses so far.....except for George "Chester" Nemesis...... JP.


Seriously, it is a very complicated issue. Remember we are talking about 11-13, max 14 yrs old children. Girls and boys that have ZERO business playing around with sex and all the issues it involves, right? So one side of the issue is like wanting to LOWER the legal driving age to 14 by saying that "they do it anyway, might as well make it legal"...simply because we see a bunch of 14 and 15 yr olds take their mom and dad's car out on joy rides all the time. Should we then just make it EASIER for them to do it?

The other prickly side is that unwanted children have such an uphill battle from the start that it would be irresponsible of us to ignore and leave unchecked.

Personally, I agree with those of that feel that sex education and morals should be the responsability of the parents. Which opens up yet another pandorah's box.....what if the parents are irresponsible and the children are in the custody of the court? Should the courts take over where the parents didn't? Should the courts be allowed to give children in their custody birth control like they do any other medicine or inoculation? Should tax payers, who ultimately pay for all of these unwanted children and their unwanted pregnancies, have to keep bank rolling the never ending cycle?

Discuss some more.

[Sammich]

i mean..children are basically gona do what they want. you can teach them the right thing and be strict, but at the end of the day, they will/can find a way to do things 'under the radar' so to speak. it is responsibility of the parents not the school, if the child decides to do that and becomes pregnant, they will become responsible for their actions. but them doing this IMHO is saying "its ok to have sex at this young age"

[Stormhammer]

Personally, I agree with those of that feel that sex education and morals should be the responsability of the parents. Which opens up yet another pandorah's box.....what if the parents are irresponsible and the children are in the custody of the court? Should the courts take over where the parents didn't? Should the courts be allowed to give children in their custody birth control like they do any other medicine or inoculation? Should tax payers, who ultimately pay for all of these unwanted children and their unwanted pregnancies, have to keep bank rolling the never ending cycle?

Discuss some more.

Well, I'm just saying birth control would be a disturbing, and yet sadly for the age a responsible decision if the parents failed at their responsibility of being open, instilling morals, and what not. As sad as it is, in today's world, some parent's just don't give a damn ( think of how many middle school girls you see at the mall friday night with a credit card, miniskirt, and chit chatting on cell phones... yeah... )

If the child is in the possession of the court... ack, well I don't necessarily think the court could rule if the girl is going to be sexually active or not, so again I think that it should be a viable option. I mean as bad as this sounds, but as a tax payer, birth control would be both a cheaper as well as a safer and more viable alternative than having to pay for the welfare of an unplanned child

[Stormhammer]

it is a touchy situation, but i see it as the parents responsibility to handle this, not the school

well it might or might not relate too well, but take Kennesaw University for example ( yes I know they are all of legal age of consent ) but they provide free condoms in a big bowl in the medical center

[Jaimecbr900]

good idea, too many dirty skanks having ****ing kids at 14-15-16.. it's disgusting.

Not that it's a huge difference, but Middle Schoolers are only from like 10 minimum to like 14 max. That's it for Middle Schooler's ages.

We all know what happens to some when they get into High School, right? There's always those girls that go nuts (no pun intended ) and are very sexually active. I know for a fact that boys do it too. This is where you get yourself into real trouble too. If you think about it, a lot of the girls that are more "loose" in High School STARTED when they were younger and just progressed quicker than their classmates. It happens. So again, does the school step in to curb that early or do they let nature take its course?

[Sammich]

well it might or might not relate too well, but take Kennesaw University for example ( yes I know they are all of legal age of consent ) but they provide free condoms in a big bowl in the medical center

yea not too well of a relation because how young those other kids are..you are basically telling them by giving them the BC pill to have sex

[Nemesis]

I have to say that I'm actually surprised at the responses so far.....except for George "Chester" Nemesis...... JP.

http://www.bestbuy.com/site/olspage....=1186005387643

[Jaimecbr900]

i mean..children are basically gona do what they want. you can teach them the right thing and be strict, but at the end of the day, they will/can find a way to do things 'under the radar' so to speak. it is responsibility of the parents not the school, if the child decides to do that and becomes pregnant, they will become responsible for their actions. but them doing this IMHO is saying "its ok to have sex at this young age"

True, but what if the school system (being that they are part of the local gov't) says that they want to do this in order to not be financially responsible for unwanted pregnancies?

BTW, I agree with what you've said so far. I'm just bringing up points as they flash in my head to get further input.

[Sammich]

i had to make sure georges page wasnt his ********** page lol

[Jaimecbr900]

http://www.bestbuy.com/site/olspage....=1186005387643

Only you Jorge, only you.......

[Sammich]

True, but what if the school system (being that they are part of the local gov't) says that they want to do this in order to not be financially responsible for unwanted pregnancies?

BTW, I agree with what you've said so far. I'm just bringing up points as they flash in my head to get further input.

you mean make it a requirement to enter into public schools?? i personally would home school my child if thats the case

[Jaimecbr900]

I wanna know where Leisa, Brett, QD, Jimmy, and some of the other parent's thoughts are on this.

When I heard about it this morning, I was kinda pissed at first. But then I thought about it and began to look at the other side of the coin. My wife and I discussed it and she too made me look at it from the other side. A DAD'S initial reaction is usually, "hell no, my little girl aint never gonna have sex....". But then you come to grips that EVENTUALLY it will happen, so what then? So far, my daughter has been on a very very short leash, but what is going to happen when she is 16, 17, or even 18 when I will have to loosen up that leash......a little ?

[Stormhammer]

yea not too well of a relation because how young those other kids are..you are basically telling them by giving them the BC pill to have sex

Well, until Jaime has the exact article, but what it sounds like is those girls that are already sexually active have the OPTION of the pill. So in other words ( to me at least ) it seems like those girls will be sexually active no matter what, but just that there might be an option in the future to take a less chance of unplanned things. I mean there is no age limit on a male buying a condom.

It's a hard thing to say what I'm trying to say. I don't agree with it, but considering the alternative, its better than nothing, although there is a chance of the risk of it in fact promoting sex at a younger age, but there's just the chance that the levels wouldn't necessarily increase. I mean if I fail one day in instilling morales into a daughter I may one day have, I would rather have my daughter at least being on BC than to get pregnant - sadly its risk management, but its all about what ifs

[Leadfoot_mf]

http://wsbradio.com/news/101807middl...control9a.html

[Sammich]

Well, until Jaime has the exact article, but what it sounds like is those girls that are already sexually active have the OPTION of the pill. So in other words ( to me at least ) it seems like those girls will be sexually active no matter what, but just that there might be an option in the future to take a less chance of unplanned things. I mean there is no age limit on a male buying a condom.

It's a hard thing to say what I'm trying to say. I don't agree with it, but considering the alternative, its better than nothing, although there is a chance of the risk of it in fact promoting sex at a younger age, but there's just the chance that the levels wouldn't necessarily increase

yea to the girls that choose to be sexually active, yea, they should have the option, but forcing it on others...i mean..dang im in ur situation trying to explain myself..its a real mixed feeling, touchy situation

[Jaimecbr900]

you mean make it a requirement to enter into public schools?? i personally would home school my child if thats the case

No, no.

What I meant was that the school system is technically a part and therefore under the rule of the "Gov't", right? The same "Gov't" that hands out welfare and runs DFACS, right? So what I was throwing out there was, what if the reasoning behind this is simply to avoid having to "pay" for it later on? Would that change your view on their decision?

[Stormhammer]

yea to the girls that choose to be sexually active, yea, they should have the option, but forcing it on others...i mean..dang im in ur situation trying to explain myself..its a real mixed feeling, touchy situation

Well, I assumed, and now reading the article reinforces, they're not forcing it, they're just having that option available ( kinda the point I was trying to make with the KSU free condoms )

Granted reading that article...

"Students treated at the centers must first get written parental permission, but under state law such treatment is confidential, and students decide for themselves whether to tell their parents about the services they receive."

[Sammich]

No, no.

What I meant was that the school system is technically a part and therefore under the rule of the "Gov't", right? The same "Gov't" that hands out welfare and runs DFACS, right? So what I was throwing out there was, what if the reasoning behind this is simply to avoid having to "pay" for it later on? Would that change your view on their decision?

naw not really. its still on the parents. like you say, you have a open communication link between you and your child, thats what should be between all parents and children. situations like this should be handled at home, much like you are. the government, for a part, is already to blame for what goes on. alot of the movies, tv shows have sexual innuendos(sp?) that they could chose to take off from so called 'family hour' and push back to later times, but they chose not to. children watching these shows (even though parents have a responsibilty to restrict what their children watch) are turned into being curious about sexuality, in turn, turns to experimenting and having sex. feel what im trying to say?

[Sammich]

Well, I assumed, and now reading the article reinforces, they're not forcing it, they're just having that option available ( kinda the point I was trying to make with the KSU free condoms )

Granted reading that article...

"Students treated at the centers must first get written parental permission, but under state law such treatment is confidential, and students decide for themselves whether to tell their parents about the services they receive."

so w/ that thought in mind..it starts w/ the parents..

[Jaimecbr900]

Well, until Jaime has the exact article, but what it sounds like is those girls that are already sexually active have the OPTION of the pill. So in other words ( to me at least ) it seems like those girls will be sexually active no matter what, but just that there might be an option in the future to take a less chance of unplanned things. I mean there is no age limit on a male buying a condom.

Leadfoot found the article and has posted a link at the top of this page. Thank you Leadfoot .

It is in Maine, which actually doesn't surprise me since they are usually a very Democratic, ie. Liberal, state.

Anyway, the article echoes exactly what all of us have been saying here with the exception of religious opposition which noone has brought up in our discussion yet.

[Stormhammer]

so w/ that thought in mind..it starts w/ the parents..

Yeah, at least about getting an examination, but then the parents don't know if the child chose to go on BC or not due to confidentiality laws... that middle schoolers seem to have

[Sammich]

yea thats crazy right there..but o well...

[Stormhammer]

Anyway, the article echoes exactly what all of us have been saying here with the exception of religious opposition which noone has brought up in our discussion yet.

Well, its hard to say anything religion wise... I mean what would be worse, having a child under age ( and an abortion even ) and out of wedlock, or taking preventative means to not have such a child and out of wedlock, even though both options still violate having sex without being married ( which is of no surprise in today's society ) - so religion kinda has to sit this one out... I don't really see how it would be against religion like how abortion would

[Hundo®]

Not that it's a huge difference, but Middle Schoolers are only from like 10 minimum to like 14 max. That's it for Middle Schooler's ages.

We all know what happens to some when they get into High School, right? There's always those girls that go nuts (no pun intended ) and are very sexually active. I know for a fact that boys do it too. This is where you get yourself into real trouble too. If you think about it, a lot of the girls that are more "loose" in High School STARTED when they were younger and just progressed quicker than their classmates. It happens. So again, does the school step in to curb that early or do they let nature take its course?

true, but having it available could help.. but also hurt.. it's too complicated of a decision. i know when i was in 6th grade i was doing everything but sex.. same in 7th grade, i couldn't imagine having sex that young.. it's odd. i too am torn on what type of decision should be made.. it should be a vote if anything.

[Jaimecbr900]

Remember one thing too folks.....what happened to all of us at some point or another when we figured out that we COULD fly under our parent's radar and get away with some things? We did them, right? I know I did. Underage drinking, sex, cutting school, driving recklessly, staying out all night, mischief, etc. We all did it at one point or another in our lives, right? Question really is then, how young is too young to open up the flood gates that make a child sink or swim on their own?

We all, as parents, can try and try and try to teach our children right from wrong. Ironically enough, ultimately it is entirely out of our hands what really happens in real life. In front of you when you are discussing sex, most if not all children will say all the right things and promise you "never ever" to do it, right? But we all know what happens when peer pressure is applied too. The same thing that happens sometimes when the parents are out of sight.....children do what they think is "cool" or what they think their friends think is "cool".

See now why I have gray hairs and have high blood pressure????? Try having to sit and think about all this about your own child. It's not easy.

[Sammich]

Well, its hard to say anything religion wise... I mean what would be worse, having a child under age ( and an abortion even ) and out of wedlock, or taking preventative means to not have such a child and out of wedlock, even though both options still violate having sex without being married ( which is of no surprise in today's society ) - so religion kinda has to sit this one out... I don't really see how it would be against religion like how abortion would

yea if religion were a factor, this wouldnt even be a question whether this is right or wrong, thats why i didnt even mention that..

[Jaimecbr900]

I don't really see how it would be against religion like how abortion would

Well, don't count out religion as an opposing view on this. Believe me, religion has a BIG opinion on under age/unwed sexual intercourse, so you can believe it will be sited as a reason to shoot this decision down. Many people, usually with ultra strong religious beliefs, are very much against any type of sexual activity at all. I know that some churches even frown upon teenage kids holding hands, let alone having sex. So believe me, it won't be long before religion is used as a reason cited for opposition to this.

[Sammich]

Remember one thing too folks.....what happened to all of us at some point or another when we figured out that we COULD fly under our parent's radar and get away with some things? We did them, right? I know I did. Underage drinking, sex, cutting school, driving recklessly, staying out all night, mischief, etc. We all did it at one point or another in our lives, right? Question really is then, how young is too young to open up the flood gates that make a child sink or swim on their own?

We all, as parents, can try and try and try to teach our children right from wrong. Ironically enough, ultimately it is entirely out of our hands what really happens in real life. In front of you when you are discussing sex, most if not all children will say all the right things and promise you "never ever" to do it, right? But we all know what happens when peer pressure is applied too. The same thing that happens sometimes when the parents are out of sight.....children do what they think is "cool" or what they think their friends think is "cool".

See now why I have gray hairs and have high blood pressure????? Try having to sit and think about all this about your own child. It's not easy.

yea thats what i was sayin

[Jaimecbr900]

i couldn't imagine having sex that young.. it's odd. i too am torn on what type of decision should be made.. it should be a vote if anything.

Oh, believe me, they are having sex and a lot more often than you could imagine.

I take my daughter to school everyday. We have time to talk. Sometimes it's about nothing, sometimes its about something. We've had this convo many many times before. Sometimes, I have to admit, it's mostly ME telling her all about guys and their train of thought..... , but sometimes she tells me the "gossip" side of her world. Who is having sex with who. Who is so and so's BF....etc. This is where my jaw has damn near hit the floor several times when she tells me just WHO is having sex and WHO isn't. Some of these girls come over to our house. I see them all the time. Yet it's hard to fathom that THEY are indeed having sex.

So believe me, sometimes you wouldn't believe just who is having sex and how young they are. Remember that our society uses an ever broadening scale for everything. Back when our parents were young, cell phones didn't exist. Back when we were young, cell phones cost over $1000 and only drug dealers and the wealthy had them. Now, cell phones are given away FREE and even 10 yr olds have them. This is only in the span of 20 yrs or so. Just like the cell phones, sex has moved from being a college thing to a high school thing to now even Middle schools. It's crazy, but it's the times.

[Hundo®]

Remember one thing too folks.....what happened to all of us at some point or another when we figured out that we COULD fly under our parent's radar and get away with some things? We did them, right? I know I did. Underage drinking, sex, cutting school, driving recklessly, staying out all night, mischief, etc. We all did it at one point or another in our lives, right? Question really is then, how young is too young to open up the flood gates that make a child sink or swim on their own?

We all, as parents, can try and try and try to teach our children right from wrong. Ironically enough, ultimately it is entirely out of our hands what really happens in real life. In front of you when you are discussing sex, most if not all children will say all the right things and promise you "never ever" to do it, right? But we all know what happens when peer pressure is applied too. The same thing that happens sometimes when the parents are out of sight.....children do what they think is "cool" or what they think their friends think is "cool".

See now why I have gray hairs and have high blood pressure????? Try having to sit and think about all this about your own child. It's not easy.

well look at kids over in Europe and such, much less drunk driving deaths and all that other jazz.. the legal drinking age is alot younger and more things are available and less viewed ass "wrong"

the less things we let our kids do, the more they want to do them, to act out against us as a parent.. most kids did all that stuff to "get back at the parents" "rebel against authority" honesetly, i bet half of the children in america wouldn't get in trouble for drinking or drugs or alot of stuff if it was just legal, then it wouldn't be "COOL" or the "rebellious" thing to do.

[quickdodge®]

I wanna know where Leisa, Brett, QD, Jimmy, and some of the other parent's thoughts are on this.

I'm kind of a bystander at this current time as my oldest daughter is 22(out of my hands) and my youngest is 5. But, with the constant rising of percentages of teens dabbling in the world of cracks and crevices, I think a combined effort of the school and home could be a good way to "put a cork in it." To let the schools offer birth control options for the male or female only reinforces outside of the home what the parents (should be) teaching at home. A comment was made about it not being the school's responsibility and that falls on the parents. Too true. But what is also true is that parents don't go to school with their children. There are so many influences at school. Some children, whether it's by lack of good parenting or just not caring, do whatever they want and that will cause other children to follow suit. These children are doing it and it probably isn't going to stop. So if the schools are offering a "protecting" environment, that's a start. Later, QD.

[Stormhammer]

Well, don't count out religion as an opposing view on this. Believe me, religion has a BIG opinion on under age/unwed sexual intercourse, so you can believe it will be sited as a reason to shoot this decision down. Many people, usually with ultra strong religious beliefs, are very much against any type of sexual activity at all. I know that some churches even frown upon teenage kids holding hands, let alone having sex. So believe me, it won't be long before religion is used as a reason cited for opposition to this.

I completely understand, but its just that even if religion wins and prevents the BC from being available, it still wouldn't stop a child from being sexually active...

As for when to open the flood gates? I would say its safe to start to slowly open them when they have their drivers license. And by slowly I mean slow enough that they can learn and deal with responsibly the new situations and choices they are faced with.

[Hundo®]

Oh, believe me, they are having sex and a lot more often than you could imagine.

I take my daughter to school everyday. We have time to talk. Sometimes it's about nothing, sometimes its about something. We've had this convo many many times before. Sometimes, I have to admit, it's mostly ME telling her all about guys and their train of thought..... , but sometimes she tells me the "gossip" side of her world. Who is having sex with who. Who is so and so's BF....etc. This is where my jaw has damn near hit the floor several times when she tells me just WHO is having sex and WHO isn't. Some of these girls come over to our house. I see them all the time. Yet it's hard to fathom that THEY are indeed having sex.

So believe me, sometimes you wouldn't believe just who is having sex and how young they are. Remember that our society uses an ever broadening scale for everything. Back when our parents were young, cell phones didn't exist. Back when we were young, cell phones cost over $1000 and only drug dealers and the wealthy had them. Now, cell phones are given away FREE and even 10 yr olds have them. This is only in the span of 20 yrs or so. Just like the cell phones, sex has moved from being a college thing to a high school thing to now even Middle schools. It's crazy, but it's the times.

so lemme get your daughters digits...


im sorry i had to. if i didnt someone else would, it is afterall, the whoreslounge. one stupid comment HAD to be made.

back to the seroiusness of the situation.