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Thread: Buy Some Grapes and Some Doughnuts

  1. #1
    The Don TheGodfather's Avatar
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    Default Buy Some Grapes and Some Doughnuts

    A doctor had the reputation of helping couples increase the joy in their sex life, but always promised not to take a case if he felt he could not help them. The Browns came to see the doctor, and he gave them thorough physical exams, psychological exams, and various tests and then concluded, "Yes, I am happy to say that I believe I can help you."

    "On your way home from my office stop at the grocery store and buy some grapes and some doughnuts. Go home, take off your clothes, and you, sir, roll the grapes across the floor until you make a bulls eye in your wife's love canal. Then on hands and knees you must crawl to her like a leopard and retrieve the grape using only your tongue.

    "Then next, ma'am, you must take the doughnuts and from across the room, toss them at your husband until you make a ringer around his love pole. Then like a lioness, you must crawl to him and consume the doughnut." The couple went home and their sex life became more and more wonderful.

    They told their friends, Mr. & Mrs. Green that they should see the good doctor. The doctor greeted the Greens and said he would not take the case unless he felt that he could help them; so he conducted the physical exams and the same battery of tests.

    Then he told the Greens the bad news. "I cannot help you, so I will not take your money. I believe your sex life is as good as it will ever be, I cannot help."

    The Greens pleaded with him, and said, "You helped our friends the Browns, now please, please, help us."

    "Well, all right", the doctor said. "On your way home from the office, stop at the grocery store and buy some apples and a box of cheerios... "

  2. #2
    look here, bish Stormhammer's Avatar
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    bwahahahaha


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  3. #3
    Add-Water-Mod TheSnail's Avatar
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    Stormhammer is the cheerios guy lol!

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    Senior Member | IA Veteran  OneSlow5pt0's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by TheSnail
    Stormhammer is the cheerios guy lol!

    BURN!!!!!!!!!!

  5. #5
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    Quote Originally Posted by HypnoToad
    BURN!!!!!!!!!!

    Burn is from the friction of you with a cheerio, so toad no pointing fingers.

  6. #6
    Senior Member | IA Veteran  OneSlow5pt0's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by TheSnail
    Burn is from the friction of you with a cheerio, so toad no pointing fingers.
    busted

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    Before yall retaliate Im just sitting drinking just marinating. No sense on attacking an old marinating man.

  8. #8
    Stops the Resistance 81911SC's Avatar
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    I am playing halo, I can't read all that.

  9. #9
    Add-Water-Mod TheSnail's Avatar
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    If technology was halo, your Porsche would be pacman

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    Ok, Im taking ish, so throw something back to startle me

  11. #11
    Add-Water-Mod TheSnail's Avatar
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    I just saw the time, I gotta wake up at 3.5hrs which means nor Im getting 2hrs of sleep or 0 for a 10hr day, which sux rabid donkey balls infected with hiv while the donkey did not take a shower in several days.

  12. #12
    Stops the Resistance 81911SC's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by TheSnail
    If technology was halo, your Porsche would be pacman
    Ok? Was that an insult?

  13. #13
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    Your mama thought you were at birth

  14. #14
    Stops the Resistance 81911SC's Avatar
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    Yea exactly.

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    911 is who you'll call once that shi+ brakes down on you

  16. #16
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    Shi+s older then video games, imagine the ecu, 0.4 Bit. It only knows what car its supposed to be in.

  17. #17
    Stops the Resistance 81911SC's Avatar
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    911's are some of the most reliable sports cars on the market. Try again.

  18. #18
    Add-Water-Mod TheSnail's Avatar
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    Got Midgets and shi+ in the tank riding bycicles pumping gas to the motor

  19. #19
    Stops the Resistance 81911SC's Avatar
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    Drunk?

  20. #20
    Add-Water-Mod TheSnail's Avatar
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    Yeah. Just fuc_king with you. 911 is evergreen

  21. #21
    Stops the Resistance 81911SC's Avatar
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    Lol, word.

  22. #22
    Something Else Kevykev's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by 81911
    I am playing halo, I can't read all that.

    wtf?

    Hahahahaaa

    Leisa and S. 4 Life NM?

  23. #23
    WTF? Leisa's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by TheGodfather
    A doctor had the reputation of helping couples increase the joy in their sex life, but always promised not to take a case if he felt he could not help them. The Browns came to see the doctor, and he gave them thorough physical exams, psychological exams, and various tests and then concluded, "Yes, I am happy to say that I believe I can help you."

    "On your way home from my office stop at the grocery store and buy some grapes and some doughnuts. Go home, take off your clothes, and you, sir, roll the grapes across the floor until you make a bulls eye in your wife's love canal. Then on hands and knees you must crawl to her like a leopard and retrieve the grape using only your tongue.

    "Then next, ma'am, you must take the doughnuts and from across the room, toss them at your husband until you make a ringer around his love pole. Then like a lioness, you must crawl to him and consume the doughnut." The couple went home and their sex life became more and more wonderful.

    They told their friends, Mr. & Mrs. Green that they should see the good doctor. The doctor greeted the Greens and said he would not take the case unless he felt that he could help them; so he conducted the physical exams and the same battery of tests.

    Then he told the Greens the bad news. "I cannot help you, so I will not take your money. I believe your sex life is as good as it will ever be, I cannot help."

    The Greens pleaded with him, and said, "You helped our friends the Browns, now please, please, help us."

    "Well, all right", the doctor said. "On your way home from the office, stop at the grocery store and buy some apples and a box of cheerios... "

    hahahaha, thats awesome!

  24. #24
    look here, bish Stormhammer's Avatar
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    you know this morning I was having doughnuts and had that morning wood... you guys dont wanna know what I did with a doughnut ( this is in all seriousness too )


    ̿' ̿'\̵͇̿̿\з=(•̪●)=ε/̵͇̿̿/'̿'̿ ̿

  25. #25
    The Don TheGodfather's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Stormhammer
    you know this morning I was having doughnuts and had that morning wood... you guys dont wanna know what I did with a doughnut ( this is in all seriousness too )


  26. #26
    Senior Member | IA Veteran  OneSlow5pt0's Avatar
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    lol

  27. #27
    look here, bish Stormhammer's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by TheGodfather
    they were fresh and hot from krispy kreme too, so the icing was still all warm and gooey to a point, I think it was almost better than my own hand


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  28. #28
    The Don TheGodfather's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Stormhammer
    they were fresh and hot from krispy kreme too, so the icing was still all warm and gooey to a point, I think it was almost better than my own hand
    Hahah, oh man.

    Thats rich.

  29. #29
    look here, bish Stormhammer's Avatar
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    lolol - tonight, I was hitting up 3rd base with this chick ( cute little jewish thing ) and she looked up and was like it tastes like a krispy kreme doughnut - I couldn't help but laugh... I almost told her WHY, but Stormhammer does not delve out his secrets to deliciousness to the ladies


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  30. #30
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    Matt you fag, your thread gets the failing grade.
    BUY MY NEW BOOK! ITS CALLED, IF YOU LIKE IMPORTANTLANTA THERE'S A STRONG CHANCE YOU'RE A FAGGOT

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